No Wolf

~Alayasia~

I stand at the stove, scrambling eggs. My eyes are on the clock, knowing that I have a tight window to have all of this ready by. I don’t have the energy to deal with the fallout if I don’t meet my time requirement. 

My days start the same. I get up early and fix breakfast for my husband. He likes to eat at home before he gets his day started. I then clean up the mess I made while he gets ready for the day. When he leaves, I make breakfast again, this time for myself and Zara. 

The truth of the matter is that he doesn’t like to be around us and definitely doesn’t like to eat with us. He never wants to see Zara unless it’s pack business, and the Alpha will be around. I can only be around others when I’m working or playing the Beta female part for pack business. I’m always to be seen and not heard, but preferably not seen at all. 

I wish I could say that he wasn’t always like this. I wish I could claim that he once loved me so much, and I know we can get back to that. He’s always been like this to me and then to Zara. For me, I’m useless in his eyes because I can’t shift. Actually, as far as my ‘precious’ husband is aware, I have no wolf. 

I mindlessly touch the charm that’s sitting on my chest. This is a gift from my mother. It has been spelled, and I never take it off. It gives me the scent of a human, which she always insisted was necessary to keep me safe. As far as everyone in this pack is concerned, I have no wolf, which is absolutely not true. 

My wolf is named Clover, and she’s been in my life since I was 12. We can’t shift, but that’s because we are meant for bigger things. I’m a healer, something that’s pretty rare among my people. The only one who knew this about me was my mom. I guess I could have told my husband, but something in me always kept me from doing so. 

My head snaps back, making my hand hit the stove. Unfortunately for me, my hand hit the burner, and I don’t need to go into detail about that pain. I remain silent, not even letting a whimper escape my lips. “What have I told you about not being in bed when nighttime hits?” Ah yes. I broke a golden rule last night. I slept with Zara instead of in our marital bed. Who could blame me after I saw him fucking yet another Omega in our bed? It wasn’t the first time it’s happened, and I’m sure it won’t be the last. 

I’m useless in many different ways and one of them is having whack pussy, according to my husband. He says I can’t satisfy him, so he needs to do whatever it takes. He says that I’m expected to give in to him anytime he wants; that’s what marriage is about. My head gets pulled back further, and I can’t do anything other than step away from the stove. “If you continue to piss me off, you know what will happen. You will spend some time in the basement. Then what would happen to your precious Zara?” That’s it, that’s the threat that always gets to me. He will lock me in the basement, and Zara will be left to fend for herself. There will be no one to help her, and he won’t care. 

Oh, did I mention that we don’t live in the packhouse? It’s easier for him to carry out his despicable acts when there isn’t an audience. We have our own home that’s quite a bit away from the packhouse. He had a basement outfitted as a torture room of sorts, just for me. “I… I’m sorry. I fell asleep with Zara last night. It won’t happen again.” His breath is at my ear, hot and uncomfortable. 

“It better not, or you will be down there for a week. Poor Zara will be very hungry.” He talks as if he isn’t her father. I know he is, though I wish that weren’t the case. I was a virgin when he pushed himself on me, and he’s the only person I’ve been with. 

“I understand.” He lets me go, pulling me away from the stove. I stumble, but don’t let myself fall. I keep my head down as I rub the back of my head. He looks at the stove and picks up some of the eggs that I made for him. He tastes them, only to spit them right out.

“After all of these years, you still can’t cook for shit! So fucking useless! If I had known then, I would have left your ass with your father.” I keep my head down, cursing him in my mind. He putters around the room a bit before leaving the house, slamming the door behind him. 

I slowly let out a long sigh and start to clean up. The eggs have burned, so I toss them out. I’m so into cleaning that I almost miss the sound of little feet. “Mommy?” 

“Zara, baby, stay there for a minute.” I hurry to Zara and help her sit at the island. She knows this house like the back of her hand, and I trust her to navigate without me. Zara isn’t completely blind, but Maxim doesn’t know that or care. She can see shapes and shadows, though she says she can see people’s auras. I’m not sure how much I believe that, but she’s sure about it. 

“Are you okay, mommy? I heard Daddy yelling at you.” I wrap my arms around her and pull her into my body. 

“I’m fine, baby, I promise.” I kiss the top of her head a few times before stepping away. “It’s a new day. What should we eat?”