I walked up to the House pumping adrenaline, feeling as though the world were my oyster. OK, my dad was always going to be the easiest to convince, but I convinced him. Supposing he’d told me to get a life - he wasn’t having Giles Ferguson around his business. Then I would have been at rock bottom. You can only beat the opposition given to you so I was pleased with the first success. Of course, in my youthful folly, I assumed everyone would see the beauty of the idea and just roll over and wait for me to tickle their tummies.
I met Vera, who looked as though she had the cares of the world on her shoulders.
'Bad night, Vera?'
'Giles has caught up with me. He’s in the office now. I refused to speak to him until you arrived.'
My hubris was short lived. I thought fate would leave me a day to bask in my first victory. Not so! And why did Vera trust me to deal with the local worthies?
'Let’s get this over with,' I replied.
I
Day 20.Saturday.I woke this morning with a whirlwind of thoughts crashing through my brain, ripping trees out as it progressed. But I haven’t any trees in my brain. I use trees metaphorically. But what were the trees representing? Then I woke and realised that the trees were part of my dream. In which case ‘trees in the brain’ are allowed.There was another gust of wind and a branch from an unruly climbing hydrangea scraped the window pane. That’s why I have trees on the brain. The dream receded and hid itself in the deep, clandestine, dark and unplumbed folds of my brain. I tried my foot. It was still there, so I am still here. Much better.Had I been thinking wooden trees, or rather, trees in a wood? There are Linnaeus trees to map and identify species, or trees to locate a file in a folder on my computer? Who knows? It was gone, leaving me in that deep nonsense Freud
Day 21.Sunday.I got up at four, was home shortly afterwards, did my share of harvesting, had a shower at eleven thirty and left for church the moment the bells began to ring the end of the service. Breakfast was fried and wafted its scents across the raspberry patch. That had been sometime around eight o’ clock, but I kept picking. Consequently, starvation and weakness were setting in as Giles and Vera waved to me from the seat by the wall - the one upon which I’d received my one and only slapped face. Giles had a big grin on his face, which got bigger as he saw me approach.'There’s a woman with a bad conscience, Vera,' he announced.'How did you work that one out?' I growled.'I dropped in, to give you a lift to church and your Dad said he didn’t know where you were as you were keeping out of everyone’s way. He pointed at a pile of fruit already p
I could go on. The takeover of Manchester United, the demise of Rover Cars, the floods in East Yorkshire, caused by underinvestment in infrastructure, the banking crash of course! The system is broken!'She yelled the last sentence. She was becoming emotional. Wow! It sounded like a speech at the TUC conference. But where did I fit in this heroic rhetoric? Giles helped us out.'I explained your social enterprise idea to Fennella. I’ll be honest. I was still in a sulk. She said I was to get on board and support the project. That’s where we are now. The world needs a new capitalist model.'I sniggered and then expressed my incredulity.'And you think Lower Butts is the place to start the next phase of global capitalism?''Don’t be cynical, Millie. Many world-changing events, in politics, art, music, literature and architecture, have started in a tiny smoke-filled workshop. The only thing that has really changed - we’ve s
She drew breath and assumed I had something to say.'Don’t interrupt, Millicent - this is important. Five kilos to the Grand in Yarmouth. They phoned me. Wetting themselves in case the Blue Moon stole a march. They are paying forty a kilo.'The line went dead. I relayed the message. My father’s chin dropped.'By when?'I shrugged.'ASAP, I suppose. We can’t work fucking miracles.'My father’s chin dropped another inch. He sighed and bent over to tend his bush. I heard him mutter, 'Keeping company with the toffs isn’t helping your language.''Sozz,' I grumbled into my basket. 'Sonya! Can you write this down as we go? Three columns. Place, weight, price.'She beamed with pride. She had presided over a disaster turning into an exciting day.And so the day went on. Vera sold a hundredweight that day at an average of thirty pound a kilo. She had the sense to promise deli
Mild sexual content'How long will this take. Sid must realise something awful has gone down. She’ll soon want answers. I’m surprised she had left the café with us without an explanation.''I’m doing my best, Millie.' I could hear he was close to tears. No police training can prepare you for the suicide of people you’ve known all your life. He coughed and pulled his voice back into shape. 'By the time you reach your house I’ll have something organised. Promise.'He hung up and left me feeling I’d never manage the task ahead. In the distance I saw a police car draw up outside our house. I hurried to catch Vera and Sid.'Something awful has happened hasn’t it?' Sid’s voice was steady and unemotional. 'You can tell me. I’ll cope,' she added.'I’m not sure we are allowed to.' I took her arm and held it very tightly, but drew it into my body to try to reassure her. 'The
As I straightened my clothes and rubbed the grass stains from his trouser-knees, we made an arrangement to meet for lunch in his shed behind the rose-garden wall. He assured me he just wanted to ask me about the odd things going on.'No shortage of them,' I replied, 'and I’m not the person to ask for elucidation.'There was that grin again.'Eluciwhat, our Millie?''Sorry! I’m going to better myself and stop talking like a dictionary.''Shame! I’ll have less to laugh about.'He swung his leg over the cross-bar and wobbled off down the lane, waving a huge stick of rhubarb like a banner proclaiming his lascivious evening, legs too trembly to push hard enough and maintain balance properly, but with enough energy to sing, 'Goodnight, my pretty maid,' at the top of his voice, through the whole village.If I stopped using big words and he stopped smiling? That’s no good.I went indoors and tried not to blush u
'Sorry about the state of the transport Vera. Not exactly your BMW, is it?'Who cares? I’m so pleased to see you. I thought I would have to pay for a taxi home. How much do you know?''Almost everything, except why are they doing this to you?''Larissa! She said she saw me. No problem. She may well have done. She described what I was wearing, which was nothing like what I was wearing and when I handed my clothes over for analysis, the police thought I had destroyed what I was wearing and substituted something else - obviously because I’m trying to hide the blood.''What were you doing at the cottage at five thirty?''What do you think?''How would I know? You had a motive for wanting him out the way. He was the one person in the village who knew about your miscarriage and subsequent charade, wasn’t he?''I thought only your father knew. I regretted having told you that, the moment I‘d said it. Now you have a ho
Her message sounded very matter of fact. She was hard to understand, due to background noise and that confused me. It was five thirty in the morning on a lonely country lane in Suffolk. Where did the noise come from? My finger hovered over the delete button, but providentially Sonya came through the office door.'What’s it like to kiss a boy, Millie?'I was incandescent and finished her off as only siblings can.'Jesus Christ, Sonya. Right now, must it be?'Yes - this lad last term - before the holidays. He wanted to kiss me and now he’s going to ask...'I freaked. I shrieked.'Just go and kiss the stupid prat and find out for yourself, and shut the effing door after you!''Sorry,' she flounced, 'I was only asking.'She spun on her heel and headed back out the door.'Well it’s not exactly rhubarb-patch stuff, is it?' I shouted after her.She shut the door with a very loud and ostentatious bang th