CHAPTER THREE

It was a Sunday morning. I heard a loud knock on the door. My eyes slowly fluttered open. I started to wriggle and stretch with my cozy, haven that is my bed. As parts of my body were gradually turning on. I glanced at the wall clock which says 7:05am. Getting out of bed, walking slowly towards the door and rubbing the sleep out of my eyes, I twisted the door knob and pulled it. It was my crazy sister. She had just start to get on my nerve this early morning. 

"mommy said you should get ready for church if you don't want the devil to use you this morning" she frowns.

 Sigh.. I shot the door against her. I went into the bathroom naked with a MP player to take my bath.  

I played loud RnB music alongside doing a concert with my toothbrush as the microphone. I thought I heard my name. Promptly, I tuned down the volume and did not hear anything. Oh well.. I increased the volume again dancing and singing along with my toothbrush as if I was Rhianna performing in a live concert.

🎶"You can stand under my umbrella, ella, ella, eh, eh, eh

Under my umbrella, ella, ella, eh, eh, eh

Under my umbrella, ella, ella, eh, eh, eh

Under my umbrella, ella, ella, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh-eh" 🎶 

I sang off key and wiggled my waist. Shortly, I could hear mom screaming my name from the other room.  

"Maaaa???" I answered loudly. I knew I had spent time in the shower so I hurriedly washed off the soap I'd got on my body. I dried up with a towel and came out of the bathroom exposed. 

As lazy as I was, I wasn't prepared for church. I rolled a box out of my closet, unzipped the box and searched in a haste for a nice outfit. I discovered my favorite gown from last Christmas underneath the box. It was a pink barbie lace gown with an enormous bow behind the waist line. I tried the dress from my feet and struggled to zip up. 

"Mehn I've added weight" I bewailed as I curse my 4% body fat. It did not fit in. I had to look for something else to wear. I searched through my closet and picked a white chiffon top with a brown leather skirt. The chiffon top needed ironing because it was rumpled. I quickly used the pressing iron to do the job on my bed as I doubled some sheets on my bed. "Phew! I'm set" Wiping the sweat off my forehead with a finger as I put on a silver wedge heels and then I grabbed my Bible and silver purse from the closet and hurried out bumping into the box at the middle of my room.

As I staggered my way to the living room. "mommy good morning, daddy good morning" I bowed in greeting. 

They responded in correspondence "morning". 

I sat quietly at the dinning room, everyone staring at me like I've got something on my face. 

"Let us pray" mom said as we bowed our heads in prayer.

"Amen". I picked up the cutlery gently and tried to masticate my food without noise. I didn't want to be heard or seen. I was avoiding to be scolded upon. 

"Why can't you be punctual for once" mom finally spoke. "You think everyone will gather and wait for you before church service starts? Are you the owner of the church?" she said in annoyance. 

It was a rhetorical question so I did not answer. 

After we had breakfast, dad drove us to church. We met up with praise and worship. I don't dance in church because I feel shy dancing in public so I only clapped my hands and sang in praises with the congregation. 

Today my seat was next to Ruth, a girl about my age. She was my only friend in church. She alerted me and pointed to an old woman dancing vigorously in front of the church. I stayed laser focused on the woman and tried not to laugh anytime she does something humorous. I would say her movements captured the eyes of many. Great technique matched with artistry, that blew my mind! 

Ruth and I watched and synchronized in laughter. Then my eyes merged with my mom standing at the other row asking me to clap my hands properly. 

She started demonstrating and I read her lip saying "clap!!! Clap!!! Danceeeee!" 

I ignored and did my own thing. 

"Praise the lord!" the pastor took over from the choir as he climbed the pulpit.

"Hallelujah!!!" the congregation responded rejoicing. 

"Sit down like Kings and Queens in the house of the lord" he continued as we took our seats. 

Ruth whispered to me as the sermon was going on "Emily look at Diana over there, she is always dressed as if her father owns the church". 

I looked around to spot where Diana was seated then she held my chin and moved it to the right direction. 

Diana was a new girl around our age too. She was fine and always looking flashy. Ruth had a crush on Davis but since Diana showed up, he had neglected Ruth. He has got eyes on Diana but cannot summon courage to approach her.  

"Look at her, she's making round eyes. She feels that we are talking about her and can't understand. Pfoo, the owl! Ha-ha!" I laughed and had a sensitized cough reflex. 

"And what does she put that hat on for?... Look how she sits with her mouth open. An owl, a real owl! An owl in new ribbons, ha-ha-ha!" Ruth added as we laugh in scathing mockery of Diana. 

I was tapped on my shoulder as the usher requested we change seat. He led me to sit in front of the church amongst elderly people. I tried focusing on the pastor's teaching but then the sermon became boring and I dozed off. This usher would not allow me sleep in my father's house in peace. He'd always tap me when I doze. I started calculating the time. It's 10:45am, I said to myself. "Urrgh! remaining 55minutes left for me to go home, that's almost an hour." I whined as a woman in her late 40's turned to me with an unpleasant remark, then she looked away. 

Shortly, I was dozing again when I heard the pastor say "sister stand up". 

I stood up immediately thinking it was time to share the grace. I noticed I was the only one standing. I turned around to check then I spotted a young lady behind the church on her feet. 

I realised he wasn't talking to me then I sat down quietly with my tail inbetween my legs. I noticed people were still staring at me, including my mom. I just placed my hand on my cheek and bowed in shame.

The pastor continued "sister stretch your hand towards the alter, let the church pray for you". 

I had no idea of the prayer point the pastor raised. I just pretended to join the congregation to pray, my lips syncing and saying Amen accordingly. 

Now it was offering time, we had to queue up and drop our offerings inside the basket in front of the alter.

 🎶 "praise, praise, praise be unto the lord..." 🎶  the choir chorused as we danced to put our offering inside the basket. 

I was really pissed when the old man in front of me wasn't moving fast. He was holding up the line, dancing to and fro.

"This man is psycho" I said to myself. 

His movements got other children laughing, I was only clapping my hands and moving my body gently and my feet slowly according to his pace. 

Finally he dropped his offering in the basket and was still dancing there. I dodged him to drop mine. Without hesitating, I walked to my sit. 

The rest behind me did the same. After everyone was settled, the pastor blessed the offering and then we shared the grace. "surely God's goodness and mercy shall follow us.... All the days of our lives.. And we shall dwell in the house of the lord... Forever and ever.. Amen." The congregation recited in unison. 

Lastly the pastor announced a meeting to be held for adults after closing. Then service was dismissed. 

Ruth ran to me and gave me a knock on the head. 

"Ouch! What's that for?" I rubbed my head.

 She asked "why did you stand up? Do you have a spiritual husband?". 

I was mesmerized and gulped "..hold on a sec. What did the pastor say? Tell me, tell me". I was eager to know as I held Ruth's dress tightly. 

"He said... there is a young lady in our midst, you have been experiencing sleepless nights for the past few months. Every night in your room, a huge man will appear and molest you. Please if you are the person, sister, stand up". 

Then I gasped and hit my forehead as if I wanted to wake my brain. Sigh... I only heard 'sister stand up' because I was sleeping. 

Selena walked towards us and burst into laughter "Hahahahahaha! Hahaha hahaha!! You allowed the devil to use you this morning. Sicko!". 

That laughter was purely evil and dangerous. I hissed, not to show weakness. Then I carried my purse with my Bible under my arm, I moved to the back seat with the both of them as we waited patiently for our parents to round off with the meeting. 

Selena clapped her hand as if to remember something. "Eh ehn.. If you had seen how mummy was looking at you during the sermon.... You were just sleeping with your mouth wide open and drooling". 

Ruth laughed out loud. I felt ashamed and switched the topic to Diana. 

"Where is Diana?" I asked. 

"I saw her going out with kingsley" Selena responded. 

"Now she thinks she can just come to our church and steal all the boys. What do they even see in her?" Ruth asked jealously. 

"Selena, Emily, let's go" mom called softly from a distant. 

I hugged Ruth and pinched her on her butt cheek. "ouch!" she pinched me back. Then she bid us goodbye. 

Selena and I entered dad's car, mom was in the front seat with dad as she began to nag about me. My sister laughed and then she diverted to her 

"Selena, what is the topic for today's sermon?". 

Selena paused as if to think and she pinched my lap for an answer. How would she expect me to know when I was sleeping all through the sermon. Dad joined into the conversation and they both scold us for being obnoxious. Geez! A typical African parents. 

"You better ask help from Jesus because I can't do more than this" mom concluded.