ログイン***~~~CHANCÈ~~~***With every fiber in me, I try my best to stay grounded.Every time River Dawson walks into a room, my head turns. It’s automatic at this point — something I can’t fully control. But today is different. I don’t want to send him any signal, not when this evening he’ll be at my house for his tutorial.And when I say professional, I mean it. I might melt when he’s beside me. I might lose track of a sentence mid-thought because of the way he looks at me sometimes. But none of that matters right now. My mission is simple — get his grades up, get my reward, and keep my head on straight while doing it.My heart skips when murmurs ripple through the room and I see Sasha Mackline stride in.For one wild second, I think she’s coming for me. Our eyes meet, but then she keeps walking, straight toward River.One thought lands hard and fast: Does she know about us?Is this the next thing she wants to take from me?River isn’t mine. I have no claim, no right to feel anything abou
Taking my helmet off, I push into the locker room and step inside. I pull off my gear, reach for my towel, and wrap it around my waist. The guys are mid-conversation about what they did over the weekend — the same conversation they had yesterday, before and after practice. I get it. I do. But I'm rolling my eyes internally the whole time, wishing I'd actually been there to celebrate with them instead of lying half-conscious in a hospital bed. My phone had buzzed. It had rung too. But I was in the middle of a three-hour blackout and never saw any of it until later. Only Riley knows what really happened to me. Even he doesn't know Daniel was the one who nearly ended my life that night. Only Cort knows that part. Yesterday, when they asked about the bruises — why I hadn't replied, hadn't picked up, hadn't shown up at the party the girls had apparently been expecting me at — I lied. Told them I'd been in a car accident. Not life-threatening, I said. It was. I would be dead right no
***~~~RIVER~~~***Practice hasn’t been the same level of intense ever since Ricky and I started getting along.Which is a good thing. I think.Daniel though, I need to talk to dad about him. Get him to change his mind and set him free. He’s been in detention since Friday and as much as what he did to me was wrong, I don’t want that sitting on my conscience longer than it has to. Part of it was my fault anyway. I had provoked him. I just hope dad listens. He isn’t the easiest man to reason with.The good news is that I’m getting better. The sickness has finally cleared and my bruises are healing faster than I expected. Another week, maybe less, and these plasters should be off my face completely.Tutorial with Chan today was something else.I can’t even explain it properly. It just — it was good. She makes it easy to want to learn, which is not something I’ve ever said about studying before. And when she pulled out those cookies at the end… I almost laughed.She looked so nervous han
Sleep doesn’t come.I’ve tossed and turned and it just won’t. I heave a sigh and sit up, my head turning to the clock on my nightstand.9:32 pm.I leave my bed, slip on my shoes, and quietly pull my bedroom door shut behind me. The living room is dark and empty. I pad softly to my parents’ door and ease it open just enough to check — they’re both fast asleep. I pull it closed again and stand there in the hallway.My restlessness won’t stop.Sasha taking my role as Gwen. Mrs. Cetera gone. Cortney can protect me from the bullying — I believe that — but I don’t think even she can stop Sasha from going after what is mine. What’s next? What else is she willing to take from me? Because right now I feel like I have nothing left for her to reach for. I’ve been kicked out of the play without doing a single thing wrong. And there goes my college portfolio. There goes the full reassurance I needed for Yale.I can’t let this go.But I also can’t go to Sasha about it. That is exactly what she want
My advice is always ruin the friendship better than regret it for all time.Taylor Swift said that in her song like it’s the easiest thing in the world.It’s not.I can’t do that.I won’t.I’m tempted to. God, I’m tempted to throw every professional boundary we agreed on straight out the window and just not care about the consequences for once. But I can’t. I know I can’t.He is not making it easy though.River sits across from me, completely unbothered, completely unaware of the internal war happening on my side of this table. His eyes are low and focused on the test paper I gave him earlier. One hand props up his jaw. The other moves his pen slowly across the page. I bite my bottom lip. My eyes travel against my better judgment from his rolled up sleeves, to his half-unbuttoned shirt, to his gorgeous hair falling just slightly out of place.Stop loo
After our emotional talk, Cortney decided we needed air.There was no ice cream left in the fridge, so we walked to the supermarket that is just a few minutes from the Dawson mansion, picked up a cup each, and grabbed a few more to store for later.I feel a quiet sadness knowing I didn’t get to see River. Didn’t even get a minute to slip away and check on him. But I wouldn’t bring it up. I couldn’t. Not without Cortney’s eyes narrowing in that way they do when she’s piecing something together.So I keep it where it belongs — tucked away, in my secretive mind.Cortney inhales the evening air as we step out of the supermarket, her cup of ice cream in one hand, her face tipped slightly upward. “I missed this,” she says. Then she turns to me. “And I cannot wait for midterm break.”“That’s still a few weeks away, Cort. Tests are next week. Exams are two weeks after that. Before we know it—”She links her hand through mine and throws her free arm into the air. “Midterm break!” she squeaks.
The door to Sasha’s closet is already open from the girls before me, and I step inside and stop.It’s enormous.Racks and racks of pink — every shade imaginable. Blush. Fuchsia. Dusty rose. Hot pink. Barely-there pink that almost looks white. The shoes are arranged on shelves along the far wall, li
Saturday finally came.I've been dreading it because of Sasha's party. I've been expecting calls or texts about cancellations—but none came. Only a reminder from the stupid group chat she added me to.I walk back into my room after breakfast with my mom. Dad left for work early and slipped me some
My eyes flip open at the sound of beeping.I've heard this before. It's like déjà vu—the same rhythm, the same sterile hum. My body hurts. Like someone took a bat to every joint and walked away smiling. My blurry gaze clears. I glance around the room. It’s empty. I close my eyes—and it all comes
The news of Daniel Marrius's arrest shocked me when I saw it on my phone. I turned my head to my sister to check if we got the same news because her phone beeped at the exact same time.She had a shocked look on her face too."This could ruin him," Cortney says.I nod, still in a daze about how this







