Knotting my long hair into braid, I was getting ready for School.My hair had grown long,they were jet black and thick.Everyone used to say I had inherited them from mama
They were only thing that I take pride in.I was not really a morning person,So I was walking like a zombie who had not eaten food for months.
But guess what my Baba was all chirpy and all that crap in morning.He used to sing something and interact with everybody.He rushed towards me asking me questions
They used to call me Haya as nick.While my brother called me Servant,our maid,little witch and blacky which I really loved a lot because I don't give a shit anymore.It used to annoy the hell out of me.But with time I grew out of my insecurities and as I was growing I transformed from thin,bony girl to healthy curvy one and my complexion kept on getting better and better.I knew he just used these names to get a rise out of me and I intend to not give him this pleasure.
But with time I used to get used to these names,they felt like mine.
I know I'm weird,You don't need to tell me that
Blacky was due to my little darker complexion than his extremely fair one.Never said I mind it. Ignorance is a bliss.
So here my father was really annoying at that moment.Ignoring him completely, I moved towards breakfast which I 've never completed anytime.Because I was always running late whether I woke up on 6:30 or 7:00 am.
Tardiness was in our genes as Baba was same lazy slag as me.But due to Armyaziam got in his blood from military he was really agile,the organized one.The laziness in him was only in matter of time, nothing else.
So, my brother never leave breakfast unfinished and I never completed one.How ironic it is.
I was in 9 grade studying in Science group visualizing for studying medicine in future.I don't know from where I get the idea.From my interest in Science,from Chachu's mindmaking and dreams about me ,treating Dadu(my grandmother) in hospitals.But I got interest.
If someone had said such a thing 6 years ago, I would have laugh a lot at this silly joke.But here I was completely devoted to Biology.The thought of becoming doctor give me adrenaline boost, injecting life in my veins.Making me utterly and completely happy.
I was versatile person.I liked dancing,singing,painting,acting, playing and almost everything.There was nothing I wasn't good at.So don't classify me as nerdy one because my grades were good but just look at the million hairstyles I opted to do at school.
One of my teacher was completely annoyed and said to me :
"HAYAT I would love to see the day when you've combed your hair like normal people"Poor madam don't know that day won't come in School.So,I loved my school my studies,my friends and teachers.
Ignore the boys drooling on our section girls.Our class was sorted as 9 A.So let me tell you straight ,I hate a man the moment when he sees a girl like his eyesockets are gonna pop out and start acting cheap.
Like seriously man!! have a class.Why eyerape every human being having vagina....
So that was my top hatelist.So I never liked anyone at college.Nobody had class enough.When I returned home,Mom sweet Mom was already there.Like the good house women she was,she was serving everybody.
LADIES and GENTLEMEN it was rare scenario.Because mostly we were left at the cost of Yaseen Chachaa.
He was an adult man of late thirties serving us since my Baba's second marriage.He carried all house duties including making dinner,ironing and washing clothes,picking me and my brother from school,taking care of our house cleanliness.
He was really kind,devoted and not selfish.I considered him as my uncle.He brought us up.So here she was,we had lunch together.
With her thick sugary accent she asked : "How was your day?"
I replied in non-chalant manner, "It was okay" . Knitting my brows expressing "Like you really care".
So the day went on until night Baba announced:
"Betaa.Uncle Arshad is coming back from Europe with his family.They would be staying in our house for a time while.Be courteous to them and welcome them whole-heartedly"My brother said enthusiastically : "Really baba.Chachaa Arshad is coming !!"
"Yes dear!" He answered.
Chacha Arshad was younger brother of Baba.Second son of Sarfaraz Abbasi-my Dada.
He had three childrens including two sons and one elder daughter.We've talked to our cousins through phone.But I had very blurred memory of them as many years had passed since we last met.We almost spend our childhood together but later when I was in 7 they moved to Europe.Now after almost 4 years they were coming back.These years had put a distance between me and my cousins and an air of reluctance that I almost forget them.
Husni was excited because he and Chacha's eldest son were old pals.Husni is nick for my full-of-himself-bro.
************************So, the preparations started for welcoming my Chachaa.Mama was making her special Chicken Pulao when I reached home, completely exhausted.I used to take a short nap in afternoon.Unlike Early bird like my mother,I was night owl like my Baba.My stubborness was also a gift from my Baba's DNA.
At 7, I started helping mother.Usually I wasn't present in kitchen because Yaseen Chacha was there to made food.Mama served it.But today mama was making huge meal, so I helped her in making salad.At that time,I don't know anything about cooking except it was a process to make eating items presentable to throat down the mouth.
At 8, Baba and Husni went to take Chachaaa from airport.Finally, the bell rung and here I was in the huge warm arms of my uncle.His hug was so tight that It was suffocating me.Nevermind our family is bit sentimental.
He was speaking with love: "Haya Janaana...How were you,I miss my little cat"
I whispered with few words smiling, exchanging same sentiments with him.Then api warm hands and warm eyes greeted me.She was so beautiful with brown speaking eyes,long black hairs and full plump pink lips.She embraced me with affection.Her name was Ayesha.Then I was in bear hug by aunty.She was always nice to me.
Like her daughter she was curvy and graceful women who always meet with kindness and empathy.
Finally,I beheld the two brothers.The first time I beheld the eldest son,my heart skips a beat.I was too naive to notice it.
Age really did him good.Now he was grown to a man not the cousin I slept with and we used to fight all night for blanket.No he was definitely not my that brother.His large chocolate brown eyes were full of mystery and mischief,His black hair were gelled back,the beard on his ice-cut jaw made him more masculine and attractive.Hands large with hairs like Bilal Chachu.All the chubby fat from cheeks was gone and I realized how much time has passed since I last saw him.Now his body was not of little boy but grown man.
They had great resemblance.But most remarkable feature was his eyes speaking everything yet giving nothing at same time.He was undoubtedly handsome.
"Ammaar!! Bro long time no see .We would get along well"
So Ammaar he was.But this Ammaar was so different from the one I used to watch CID with.
I said Salaam nodding and moved away because lack of communication had caused a hesitance in our friendly bond
We were not that little child anymore that play day and night.We are grown up now and should act like one.After greeting me back ,he went talking to my brother.
I went to meet little panda version of my cousin.He was sitting with his cars oblivious to the world.When I greeted him, he barely acknowledged me.He was blabbering non-stop about some car crap and laughing with my younger sister.
Sister from another mother.Yup, she was five years younger than me.Eventually, my really-kind-to-guest mom initiated serving dinner.She was perfect at hospitability.Yes, it was her thing and I appreciate her for that.I really want to adopt her this feature.
So, everybody was talking and eating.Later we played truth dare,I started to get along well with my cousins.So bear-bro aka my brother and Api was teammate.While me and chocolate eyes were partner in game.We were really enjoying well.Further the horror story session started and here Api was blabbering with her thick accent to create a dramatic effect:
"When they arrived at that room there was......Dulhan....The same with that large fangs and witchy hairs.She hadn't changed her dress nor anything"
She was wiggling his fingers like a big saint telling a huge mistery and we were all cocooned in blanket creating more horror air.
She added : "Then her wife went to kitchen here again She was...The voice of her bangles clicking.....Dulhaan "
And like the big brave and supersouls we were shivering from fear and horror.Like seriously,what cowards pigs we were.....
The bear-bro might gave always the impression he was the more macho(masculine) but he was hyperventilating like coward mouse.Oh dear.....I loved to see him like that.His testerones in limit.
She kept telling but the word always ended on "here again what they saw" remarking with curling fingers "Dulhaaan"
She was terrible story teller.But we don't have enough brains to knew that and ended up hugging each other tightly and finally snoring together.So It was how the night ended we forming a big Quadrad group.
Little had I idea what air is going to rush in our lives and how my brain and heart will change it rhthyms.It was a new start.But I knew another storm was brewing,waiting to explode at any moment.
Time seems to fly as we were engaged in work,playing and sleep.Let me remind you I'm Scorpion. So we love to sleep.It is really our thing.When I'm sleeping anyone could put me in sack and export to hell because I sleep so deep.My sleep game is really strong,Unlike my brother who wake up even there is a minute sound.Always the curious one,the intelligent one,but I beat him in our studies due to my elegant cramming skills.Yes ,I could swallow the whole book without changing a little full stop in it.I was also good at picking new concepts.While Urdu and English were on my tongue with fluency.Never I had ever need an effort on those subjects.So ,he must be cool man but I was the nerdy one here.Me 1,Bro 0All cocky boys used to put there bad grades in just few words:"Actually we don't learn these books and are into them 24 hours.Unlike girls ,then we would have definitely topped them all"Really!!! boys you can't come with something better.So
It was afternoon,everyone was busy in usual cores.I was having Winter Vacations.Chachaa and Chachii were meeting some relatives in Murree.Ayesha api was snoring beside me.Bear-bro aka hussni went to meet his one of friends.After waking up,I was using my not-so-smart-brain for taking revenge.Speak of devil and he is here....Chocolate eyes was sleeping with mouth open,little drool was on side of his mouth.He looked like he is dead.I could kill him at the moment andend of game.As I looked at him ,I realized he looks like old Amaar with his smirk off his face.I almost wanted to touch him like the old times that I always used to awake him for breakfast.I immediately jerked that thought out of my mind.He is not the same Amaar and you are not a baby anymore.So seize your stupid acts right now.But then I caught sight of his phone.Wiggling my fingers,I rushed towards it.He didn't budge.What a heavy sleeper.I move out of room towards the sid
I'm just having breakfast in Sunday morning with my parents and bhai(brother).Arshad Chacha had shifted to their own house near our home after spending a month with us.I used to go their frequently.We had a lot of fun.My send-ups are over and now I'm free for 15 days.Afterwards I have to prepare for finals.Don't mistake me for those bookworms who are always studying.I study just one time and when I do,I do it perfectly.Not leave a single line.But exams are headaches.Really, So I study regularly while in exams I chill out.I swallow enough to not tense me.I really watch movies before paper night.It is kind of my habit.I know its weird but who said I'm not.So that's my particular routine.I always survived having good marks till now.Don't have any idea about future.So here I am free and full of entertainment.Let me tell you the good newsThere is WEDDING of my lovey-dovey-bestfriend-Chachu aka Bilal Chachu.So I'm really really happy
As exams drew near, I got busy in studying.You know exams are always a pain in the ass or its what I've thought.Because their is tension squeezing your insides whether you're prepared or not,Its still there.So our mind don't wander anywhere because their is a time bomb ticking in your brain,waiting to explode at anytime.I hate them yet I survived.Now they're over.The best feeling is when they're over.You know like a huge boulder has been removed from my shoulders.So we enjoyed the last day by roaming in college.Roaming is really my thing.I like to be free of bounds.As my lifestyle due to absence of my mother, I'm answerable to none.Baba don't pay much attention to where I'm going,what I'm doing unless I'm not causing trouble.Same goes with my brother.So there are perks of my life.I don't know I would like to have some loving ties than no hindrance.But this what circumstances have made me to.I didn't chose what
That night I broke apart.I don't know why but it hurts, It hurts more than anything.I felt daggers boring through my heart crushing it into pieces.Stupid me..I have not a little idea what I'm getting myself into.I used to tell myself ,its optional. If Allah blessed me with him its well and good.If not I will move on.Silly me had not a bit idea that it would bleed my heart.I would be victim.I didn't realize your feelings are most precious thingYour heart is most sensitive and essential thing in your bodyYou can't give it to anybodyNo nobody deserves your true loveNobody deserves your pure heartI will never ever allow any other man to contaminate my soul and heartMy self-esteem was brutally killed.I HAYAT AHSAN, who taught other girls not to fall for anything as worthless as boys.I who tell them how much naive they are to trust them ,had fallen into trap.How could I? Was my Imaan that weak? Was I only wort
"They say I'm wild, they're right because I possess untamed spirits"Like the summer wind rushing through the beach, my life was going and moving.I was hell busy in my studies.Let me tell you I was always bright student.I took part in every competition.I don't know a part of me craves for attention and affection.Today my sister got 1st position in speech.Everybody was celebrating like we got Ferrari.No offence I just love Ferrari.That red colour is so hotMy mom was gloating like a king who got his throne.Baba made a video of her.I wasn't envious of her.No I was just mad at the irony.When I used to do these things.When I used to come up with medal ,no one bothers except Chachu.He always appreciated me.He was my small beacon of life in my world of darkness.****FLASHBACK*****I won the great competition of quiz in school.I got a big prize.I was so happy.Everyone came even the students other than my class fellows congratulated
I woke up early in the morning and offered Fajjar.Let me get you straight I'm not punctual in Namaz.I don't know but that regularity I never achieved.Is it me or my abnormal life I don't know.But I came to know that I offer prayer when I want to seek peace and once I get it, I stop praying.I know its bad,Ofcourse I know but that pathetic I am.I always thought of becoming punctual but my light again fades and mingles with darknessThere's darkness still inside me and I don't know I will ever get rid of it because it is a part of my soul.You could protect yourself from others but how could you protect yourself from you.What If danger lies inside you!!I haven't found a way to conquer my that part.My faith is still uncomplete.And I knew it but I haven't find my light not yet.I don't know a part of me still wants to ju
I know I have fallen again.Would you rise me now"*****************************When I reached near the tall white building a.k.a Hospital, my face was contorted into fear.ALLAH TALLAH!!! Just save me this time.I promise I would be a good girl!!I thanked young soldier, he smiled and left.Ok Hayaaat! BE CONFIDENT...Show like everything is cool whether you're shivering inside.Actually I was.I introduced myself to lady at the counter and she told me that, I should talk to Dr.Abdullah about my duty who was currently in ward.I went towards the ward,my nose hitting the typical-hospital-scent.I always hated it.But once you spend a while, you get used to it.Entering in, I notice several people in bandages, injured on beds.I just hate those white sheets.I always thought why can't hospital bed be colourful.