chapter 31

Drasa's POV

I couldn't believe what was happening to me. Here I was, pressed against this wall, kissing Cassian like I was starving for him. My whole body felt like it was on fire, and every place his hands touched sent electric shocks through me.

His hands were roaming all over my body now, exploring every curve, and I was letting him. More than letting him, I was enjoying every single second of it. The way he touched me made me feel beautiful, desired, like I was something precious he couldn't get enough of.

Part of my brain was screaming at me to pull away, to stop this before it went too far. This wasn't like me at all. I didn't do things like this, didn't make out with guys at parties, didn't let anyone touch me like this. But I couldn't make myself stop.

Maybe it was the alcohol making me feel so bold, so reckless. Or maybe it was just Cassian himself, the way he looked at me like I was the only person in the world who mattered. Whatever it was, I found myself holding him tighter instead of pushing him away, kissing him back with a hunger I didn't even know I had.

Cassian seemed to be enjoying this just as much as I was. The way he was kissing me, touching me, pressing his body against mine, it was like he couldn't get enough either. His breathing was heavy and rough, and I could feel how much he wanted this, wanted me.

But then we heard footsteps approaching, and reality came crashing back like a bucket of cold water.

We broke apart instantly, both of us breathing hard and staring at each other with wide eyes. The spell was broken, and suddenly I felt exposed, embarrassed, like I had been caught doing something I shouldn't have been doing.

Cassian didn't look embarrassed at all. If anything, he looked frustrated that we had been interrupted. But I couldn't handle the intensity of his gaze, couldn't deal with what had just happened between us.

Without saying a word, I turned and ran back toward the party, leaving him standing there by the bathroom. I could hear him calling my name, but I didn't stop. I couldn't stop.

My heart was pounding as I made my way through the crowd, trying to find Maya. When I finally spotted her near the pool, she took one look at my face and smiled knowingly.

"There you are," she said, nodding like she understood exactly what had happened. "I was wondering where you disappeared to."

The rest of the party passed in a blur. I stayed close to Maya, trying to act normal, but my mind kept drifting back to those moments with Cassian. The way he had kissed me, the way his hands had felt on my body, the way he had looked at me like he wanted to devour me whole.

When it was finally time to leave, I was both relieved and disappointed. Relieved because I needed to get away from the temptation that was Cassian, but disappointed because part of me wanted to see what would have happened if we hadn't been interrupted.

Maya and I walked to grab a taxi.

"So," she said once we settled inside the car. "you're practically glowing."

"What do you mean?" I asked, trying to play innocent.

Maya laughed and shook her head. "Don't even try to deny it, Drasa. I saw you and Cassian eating each other's lips back there by the bathrooms."

My face went bright red, and I felt like my heart was going to jump out of my chest. "I don't know what you're talking about," I said quickly, but even I could hear how unconvincing I sounded.

"Oh please," Maya said, still grinning. "You two weren't exactly being subtle. I went looking for you when you didn't come back from the bathroom, and there you were, practically climbing each other like trees."

I buried my face in my hands, mortified that someone had seen us. "Oh god, Maya, I'm so embarrassed."

"Why are you embarrassed?" she asked, sounding genuinely confused. "That was hot as hell! I was actually impressed, I didn't think you had it in you."

"It's not like me," I mumbled through my hands. "I don't do things like that."

"Well, you did tonight," Maya said cheerfully. "And from what I could see, you were definitely enjoying yourself."

I peeked at her through my fingers. "Did anyone else see us?"

"I don't think so. I only saw you because I was specifically looking for you." She paused, then added with a mischievous grin, "Speaking of making out with people, I almost ended up doing the same thing with some guy during that body shots game."

"Really?" I asked, grateful for the change of subject.

"Yeah, this cute guy with dark hair. We were getting pretty into it when your friend Amelia walked by and gave me this look that basically said 'don't be an idiot.' It was like a bucket of cold water snapped me right out of it."

"Amelia was there?" I asked, surprised. I hadn't seen her after her dramatic confrontation with Elara earlier.

"Yeah, she walked right past us. But she seemed different somehow," Maya said, frowning slightly. "I can't put my finger on how, but something about her was off."

"Probably just the alcohol," I suggested. "People act differently when they're drunk."

"Yeah, that's probably it," Maya agreed. Then she turned to me with that mischievous smile again. "But enough about Amelia, let's talk about you. How did it feel to make out with the most handsome guy in school?"

I felt my cheeks heat up again. Just thinking about Cassian, about the way he had kissed me and touched me, made my whole body feel warm. But it also made me feel anxious, worried about what it all meant.

"I don't know," I said quietly, staring out the window. "I'm probably going to regret it."

"Why would you regret it?" Maya asked, sounding genuinely puzzled.

"Because it's Cassian," I said, like that explained everything. "He's... he's him, and I'm me. We don't make sense together. Tonight was probably just the alcohol and the party atmosphere. It doesn't mean anything."