Chapter 5: I Felt Alive

I had attempted to avoid Mateo and keep my conversations with him to a minimum. I only answered the questions he asked or responded to the comments he made about the teachers and students.

Liza and Sora were freaked out by what I'd told them and wanted to look more into memory development, specifically whether anything like what I saw could actually be real and not just a figment of my imagination.

Speed-walking to my car so I could get to Oliver's Cafe, Books and Mystery, I tried to focus on anything other than the giant Greek god who had somehow become my personal shadow.

I'd been working at the cafe and bookstore for the last six years. Liz said she'd meet me there for the start of my shift. She'd left early to get a head start, hoping Oliver might know what was going on or at least point her in the right direction.

The thing I kept asking myself was whether I actually wanted to know if this was normal or if I was losing my mind.

Probably the latter.

It was what I was known for.

I'd forgotten about the giant following me around once I reached my car, until he finally spoke.

“You have work, right? I can always meet you tomorrow before class starts if that makes you more comfortable.”

As much as I didn't want him around me right now, I couldn't ignore my curiosity when it came to the feeling I had whenever he was near me.

I wanted to ask him about it.

But would he even tell me?

All signs pointed toward no.

Whatever.

I was getting answers one way or another, so all I had to do was tell him to meet me tomorrow in front of the school.

“That’s fine. You can come with me. I was supposed to show you around anyways.”

Damn.

That was not what I wanted to say.

Actually, that wasn't even remotely close to what I was supposed to say.

He looked at me for a second before opening the passenger door and getting in. I took a deep breath and slowly released it.

I don't know how I get myself into these sorts of situations.

This car ride was about to be awkward as hell.

I got into the driver's seat and started the car before pulling out of the parking lot, avoiding the people crossing in front of me.

Thankfully, the silence was comforting. Too comforting, now that I thought about it.

I could see him glancing at me from my peripheral vision. I silently prayed to Selene that he wouldn't ask the question I knew had been on my mind ever since he punched Vance and forced him to apologize.

“That vampire, the one who insulted you. I'm assuming you guys have bad blood?” He asked it so innocently, but I could feel the anger vibrating through his tone.

Okay. Not what I was expecting him to say.

This was actually an easier question to answer.

Easy enough, anyway.

“Vance? Yeah, you could say that.”I let out a huff of a laugh before briefly looking away from the road toward him. “We were together for a little while. Not everyone is fond of wolves and vampires getting together, but I was young. I didn't care what anyone thought, and I still don't.”

He listened intently without a hint of judgment on his face.

Instead, there was curiosity. And a hint of something else.

Anger?

Jealousy?

Nah. I was just imagining things.

“I lost my virginity to him.” Why I decided to say it like that, I'm not sure, but I saw the way his hand tightened around the door handle.

His shoulders stiffened, and his expression darkened as he snapped his attention toward the road in front of us.

I felt like I was treading through a raging river and somehow still continued to run my mouth.

“It wasn't anything special. Pretty much the exact opposite.”

The way I said it caused some of the tension in his body to relax, and his attention turned back toward me.

“It lasted less than a minute. He was embarrassed and tried to play it off. I was disappointed.” That was the only way to describe it. “The next day, I went to school and found out he'd told everyone that I'd begged him for it. Said it was amazing, and that I wanted us to be together, which he supposedly denied me.”

I laughed at that. The memory was crystal clear in my head as I described it to him, like it had happened yesterday.

From the atmosphere in the car, I could tell he was pissed again.

I didn't continue making it worse. I just kept driving until I reached my unofficial parking spot beside Oliver's.

I couldn't have him going inside like this.

He looked like he was on the verge of committing homicide, and he'd scare everyone.

Without thinking, I reached over and placed my hand on his. He looked down at our hands before slowly lifting his gaze to mine.

The intensity of his stare caused goosebumps to spread across my body, followed by a shot of sweet, hot fire erupting from the place where our skin touched.

I lost my breath.

This man was the epitome of an angel. All I wanted to do right now was reassure him that I was okay.

That I wasn't hurt.

I needed him to believe me.

“Don't worry. No one believed him except his little friend group. Also, I broke his nose.” At that, he threw his head back and started laughing. I soon followed because his reaction was right.

It was hilarious.

Not just the rumor, but the whole sequence of events.

He eventually stopped laughing and shook his head before turning back toward me. The look he was giving me could have stopped wars. There was something different in his eyes now.

Something raw.

His gaze dropped to my lips, lingering there for a moment before slowly returning to my eyes.

Neither of us spoke.

We didn't need to.

The air between us felt impossibly heavy, charged with something I didn't understand but somehow recognized.

He leaned toward me.

Slowly.

Giving me every opportunity to move away.

I didn't.

Instead, I found myself leaning toward him too, my heart pounding so hard I was convinced he could hear it.

His breath brushed against my lips. I could feel the warmth of him, close enough that every nerve in my body seemed to wake up at once. Just a little closer.

My eyes fluttered shut.

And then—

He stopped.

My eyes opened just in time to see him pull away.

The sudden absence of him left me breathless.

He turned toward the window, his jaw clenched as he muttered something that sounded suspiciously like an apology. Then he opened the door and climbed out. I stared after him.

What the actual fuck was that?

I couldn't even process what had just happened.

One second, I had been certain he was going to kiss me. The next, he'd practically run away.

And somehow, that was worse.

I slowly opened my door and stepped out, slamming it shut behind me.

His head snapped in my direction. The second he saw my face, his eyes widened, and he instinctively took a step backward.

Good.

He should be scared. Because I was pissed. Not annoyed.

Not irritated.

Pissed.

The rage burned through me so quickly that I could barely keep it contained. He opened his mouth, probably to explain himself, but I raised a hand.

“Don't.”

I turned toward the entrance of Oliver's and started walking. Or, more accurately, stomping. I barely made it a few steps before his hand wrapped around my bicep.

I spun around, ready to tell him exactly where he could—

He pulled me toward him. My back hit the brick wall. The fire erupted immediately.

It was the same sensation I'd felt in the car, only a hundred times stronger. Heat spread from his hand through my skin, racing through my veins until I couldn't tell where his touch ended and I began.

His eyes locked onto mine. For one suspended second, neither of us moved. Then his mouth crashed against mine.

Every thought disappeared. The anger. The confusion. The questions.

Gone.

His lips were warm and impossibly soft, moving against mine with a desperation that made my knees weak.

I grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him closer, needing more of him, needing to understand why this felt so damn familiar.

His arm wrapped firmly around my waist, drawing me against his body, while his other hand slid into my hair.

The moment his fingers curled through my hair, something inside me snapped. A gasp escaped me, and he took advantage of the sound, deepening the kiss. I melted into him. There was no hesitation now.

No awkwardness. No uncertainty. Just him. Just me. And that strange, overwhelming certainty that somehow, this was exactly where I was supposed to be.

My arms wound around his neck, pulling him closer as my fingers tangled into his curls. They were just as soft as I'd imagined.

His lips moved against mine with a hunger that matched my own, and I couldn't stop the quiet sound that escaped my throat. He answered with a low groan, tightening his hold on me.

I should have been questioning everything.

Why did he feel familiar?

Why had I seen him in my memories?

Why did he call me Amor?

Why did kissing him feel less like meeting someone for the first time and more like finding someone I'd been searching for my entire life?

But I couldn't think.

Not while his mouth was on mine. Not while his heartbeat was pounding against my chest. Not while every part of me was screaming that this was right.

For the first time in my life, I felt alive.

Not happy. Not excited.

Alive.

Like some missing piece of me had finally slid back into place. Like my mind and body had been disconnected for years, and somehow, his touch had brought them together again.

It felt safe. It felt right. It felt like coming home. And the strangest part? I didn't know how I knew that.

I just did.

He slowly pulled away, but not before pressing one final, lingering kiss against my swollen lips. Neither of us moved.

We stood there, breathing heavily, our foreheads almost touching. His pupils were so heavily dilated that I could barely distinguish the dark green of his irises from the black swallowing them. He looked just as wrecked as I felt.

His thumb brushed absentmindedly against my cheek before he finally stepped back. “You can't go in there angry,” he murmured, his voice rough. “You'll scare someone. Or hurt them.”

I stared at him. Then, somehow, he had the audacity to smirk.

He opened one arm toward the entrance in a silent lead the way gesture.

Yeah. Angry wasn't exactly the word I'd use to describe how I felt anymore.

I turned toward the door. “Right.” I glanced back at him. “Follow me.”

I led the way through the front doors, where Liz was already in my face with an excited expression mixed with a look of dread.

“I found something.” Her eyes quickly flicked toward Mateo standing to my left. “But I'm not sure you're going to like it.”

That was aimed at me. Well, fuck.