Dear Ex-husband, I Don't Love You Anymore

BEGINNING

It was cold and Neah understood that she shouldn't have snuck out of the school. But it was her birthday and she was tired of waiting in the empty school, knowing that her dad wouldn't show up to pick her as he promised.

He had forgotten her birthday. He had forgotten her, even after he promised to bring a gift to her, and it was not the first time it was happening.

She looked up at the dark sky and noticed that the wind was picking up, in a second a cold droplet of water landed on her head and the sky broke down.

She turned back but it was too late, she was far from the school already.

***

DIANA

I let the panicked words of Neah's teacher float around my mind like ghosts searching for a place to rest.

“Mrs Diana, you need to come quickly, Neah is missing.”

My heart was hammering against my chest so violently that I feared that it would punch a hole through my ribs.

My entire body was shaking, not from the coldness of the merciless rain, but from fear.

The ambulance was not there yet, but I could see some figures standing under a tree. They turned towards me as I approached.

“Mrs Diana, I'm so sorry.” Neah's teacher broke down. I pushed past them and went to Neah, who was in the arms of the security guard.

His face was pale as he handed her over to me, his eyes holding a silent apology.

“Neah please wake up.” I begged as I took her from him

Her clothes were soaked and clinged to her like a second skin. Her lips were parted and her skin was blue… seeing her now, my reality was beginning to crash into itself.

I knelt down and placed her on my lap and I started to pump her chest with my hands.

“Mrs Diana, we've tried everything.”

No, I was too desperate to listen to anything they said.

The roaring sound of a siren started to draw closer and I looked up to see the ambulance pulling in.

***

"Why would you let her in the rain knowing she had a heart disease?" The doctor asked, his eyes were serious.

"Her father was supposed to pick her up from school, I called him and reminded him." I said with tears streaming down my face.

"Where is he now?"

"He's ignoring my calls."

“The artificial heart device is expensive, please understand that I have compassion for your daughter but there is nothing I can do. You will have to bring a deposit for us to start the treatment. Neah still has a chance to live, we can save her.”

“I've been calling my husband and he isn't responding. Please can you start, I promise that he will bring the money once I get a hold of him.”

The doctor's eyes held a look that I could understand but not accept. It was helplessness.

“My hands are tied, I'm so sorry.”

“I'll find a way, I'll get you the money. Can you please send a nurse to the ICU to look after her?”

“I'll do that.”

I was in the reception, about to leave the hospital building when I saw the back of a familiar figure disappear into a door.

I ran after him, regardless of the fact that I might be hallucinating the entire thing. I followed him to the VIP section of the hospital and it turned out to be Nathan, my husband.

What was he doing here? Did he finally receive my texts?

He was petting a dog and on the hospital bed was Camille, his mistress. I didn't have time to process the feelings of jealousy and betrayal, all I could think of was the fact that Neah had a chance to live and Nathan was the one who could give her that chance.

“Nathan” I said and for a moment, it felt like the hands choking me had released it's hold and I could breathe a little

“What the hell are you doing here? Did you follow me?” Nathan asked, shock and anger in his eyes.

“No, I didn't follow you… I-”

Before I could complete my statement, I was cut off sharply. “I told you that she was crazy and all she wanted was attention.” Camille said to Nathan and he nodded.

Nathan's parents had offered me five hundred thousand dollars to marry Nathan, solely for the purpose of bringing an heir into their family. I took it, because my mother was dying and I needed money for her treatment.

It unsettled me at first, that I was choosing to marry Nathan for the money but I had no other choice. It was either I let down my ego or watch my mother die without trying to save her.

Over the years, I've seen it as a loan and I've always tried to repay back their kindness in whatever way I could

But Nathan did not see that side of the story, he thought of me as a gold digger that was desperate to marry into a wealthy family and over the years I've watched the disgusted and cold look in his eyes get darker every time he laid his eyes on me.

I shook my head, fighting the urge to defend myself

“Neah is in the ICU, you have to come quick.” I begged and for a moment, Nathan just stared blankly at me but then he bursted out in laughter and Camille joined him.

“Oh my goodness, you'll really stoop this low? Aren't you ashamed of yourself?”

“Nathan, you have to believe me. We don't have much time. Just come and see for yourself, please.”

I let down all my ego and sank to my knees.

“Please Nathan, I'm begging you.”

Tears blurred my vision as I stared up at him but the sounds of their laughter only heightened.

“I'll do anything Nathan, I'll even accept the divorce if you come and have a look at Neah.”

At the mention of the divorce, he stopped and stared at me with a look that I could not recognise. It was a mixture of shock and something else.

“Maybe you should go and see if Neah is really there.” Camille said softly.

Nathan shook his head as if he was coming down from a trance and he started walking out the door.

I ran after him and led him to the room where they had admitted Neah, but the bed was empty.

“You lying bitch, I knew it!”

“No, it's… Sh-she was here.” I stuttered.

The fear was quickly returning and the world was spinning. I could barely hear Nathan’s words but I knew they were insults. I could see the anger in his eyes though.

“The very thought of you irritates me.” he spat as I ran past him

“Wait here and I'll get the doctor.” I told him but he shoved me aside and stormed away.

“Nurse, where is my daughter?”

“She's in the emergency room. Please follow me.”

I pushed past the steel doors of the emergency room to see Neah on the bed. The tubes and wires were no longer sticking out of her body but she remained the same…

“Doctor, what happened?”

“She spiralled…” the man said apologetically, as if it was enough explanation.

I cupped Neah's face, she was barely able to keep her eyes open, but she was here. She was conscious.

“Mummy?”

“My baby.” I choked on a sob.

I didn't want to cry but I was not strong enough.

“I want to see daddy.” The very words pulled my heart up to my throat.

With shaking hands, I pulled my phone from my pocket and I tried to video call Nathan, but there was no response.

I looked down at Neah and saw a flash of disappointment before she closed her eyes.

"Baby, don't go to sleep yet." I cradled her head and she opened her eyes again.

"Daddy doesn't love me." she whispered

"I love you baby. I love you."

"I know." she said and I could see the onset of a smile but it never surfaced. "I want to go home."

I wished that I could take it away, I wish I could take away the pain and disappointment. All the years of neglect that Neah had faced, all the times that Nathan made her feel that she was unloved.

The pain and the regret was hitting me harder now.

"I'll call your daddy to take us home."

"Yes..." she said with a very small smile.

I called Nathan again and he hung up.

“I'm sorry Neah, please forgive me. I'll be a better mom, I promise. I'll be stronger and I'll make you so happy that you won't need him”

I lifted my head as the heart monitor started to beep loudly. The doctors and nurses rushed towards me, a panicked expression was on some of their faces. They pushed me aside but I fought to get to my daughter.

“No, no… Neah!”

A single tear slipped down her face and I grabbed her hands.

"Neah, please stay awake for mommy. I can't lose you."