Desired by the Alpha

Dean looks across the table at me and smiles.

He is one of the sweetest betas in the pack.

I should be happy we are arranged to marry each other.

But I am not.

I have a secret.

It burns inside me of me.

"Marla? Are you okay?" Dean asks.

I snap back to attention and look at him.

"Yes," I say.

"You're barely touched your meat."

I look at the fresh steak on my plate.

The hunters brought back deer today.

My favorite food, that I usually devour.

I have hardly touched it today.

"Sorry. I was daydreaming."

He looks amused. "What about?"

I blush. "Nothing."

I cannot tell him I am in love with someone else.

I cannot tell anyone.

It is forbidden to seek mates outside the pack.

But that it exactly what my heart desires.

Dean is a good man.

He is kind and honest.

And he will make a great husband to someone.

Just not me.

"You are quiet," he says.

"Just thinking," I reply.

He takes my hand.

"I know it has been a long year," he says.

"It has been hard. Losing your father in that battle. Your brother, too."

His eyes show his concern.

I do not want to talk about such dour things.

"I am fine," I tell him. "I am just ready for the solstice. And to start the rest of my life."

"Yes," he says. "I am ready, too."

He smiles at me and I feel awful.

I am looking forward to the solstice for a different reason than he thinks.

It is not because of the celebrations. The festival my pack holds every year.

It is because that is the day my lover and I have chosen to leave.

On the solstice, I will be running away.

While everyone is distracted by the merriment, I will steal out into the night.

"I am glad you will be my wife," he says.

I look into his eyes and see the sincerity.

I have no desire to hurt him.

I like Dean.

He is a good man.

I am thankful he is part of my life.

I just know that my heart lies elsewhere.

"Are you sure you are okay?" Dean asks.

"I'm fine," I tell him.

"Are you sure?" he asks again. "You seem distracted."

"I'm fine," I tell him again.

"Okay, if you say so."

I smile, trying to reassure him.

But I don't believe I am fooling him.

"May I ask you a question?" I ask.

"Sure."

"Why am I so important to you?"

His eyes widen. "What?"

"Why are you interested in me?"

"Why wouldn't I be? You are a beautiful woman. A strong wolf."

I smile. "You are sweet, Dean."

"I just wish you would let me in more," he tells me. "Maybe if you did, we would have bonded already."

I sigh.

This is a sore spot between us.

Obviously, the bonding hasn't happened.

It never will.

I am saving myself for true love.

But poor Dean does not understand.

He thinks there's something wrong with him.

I hate to think of him suffering that way.

"I too nervous," I tell him.

Dean looks at me like he is trying to read my mind.

I know I am giving him nothing.

I can't give him anything.

"Perhaps some calming herbs would help?" he offers.

"No. I don't think so."

"I will ask Alpha if he has any," he says.

"No!" I exclaim. "Please don't."

He looks at me like I have lost my mind.

"But why, Marla?" he asks. "I don't understand."

He stares into my eyes.

"What do you mean?" he asks.

I sigh.

This is too much.

It is like torture.

For him and me.

I cannot force something that is not there.

I decide to tell the truth.

"Dean, the thing is, I don't think this is going to work."

"What?"

"You and I."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means that I don't want to bond with you."

He looks hurt. "But why?"

"You are a good man. You are kind and gentle. But I don't feel it. You are like a brother to me."

He looks like I have smacked him in the face.

"What are you saying? I love you!"

"I know," I tell him. "But I do not love you."

He stares at me.

"We're betrothed," he states, as if it changes anything.

"I'm well aware."

"Then you will love me."

"It doesn't work like that."

"Of course it does. It always has. That's how your parents met. How mine did. How every wolf in the pack did."

I shake my head and speak slowly, so he understands.

"My heart belongs to another," I say.

His face falls.

He looks crestfallen.

"Who?" he asks.

"I don't want to say."

"Why? Because you know I'll beat him to a pulp?"

I feel bad for him.

"I'm sorry," I say.

He does not answer.

He looks away from me.

I can't stand to see him sad.

I have to follow my heart.

It is the only thing that will make me happy.

I have a plan to escape.

I will follow it no matter how hard it is.

I will do it no matter how much it hurts.

I will escape my pack and my arranged marriage.

And I will go to my true love.

We finish our meal in silence.

Dean looks at me. "What are we going to do?"

"I don't know."

"I think we should go and speak to your mother."

"Why?"

"She needs to know what you're planning."

"Does she?"

"It's either that or we tell the alpha."

I swallow hard. If the alpha finds out I've fallen in love outside the pack, he'll be furious.

Of the two options, mother is better.

I stand from the table.

"I'll go and talk to my mother," I tell him.

"Do you want me to come with you?" Dean asks.

I shake my head.

"No," I say, "I'll do it."

He nods.

His eyes fall.

He looks sad and dejected.

I turn and walk away.