Why did that hurt me then it wasn’t supposed to? It wasn't a breakup, but it felt like it since I just told him that I wanted time apart. I told my only friend to leave me alone only because I was upset at him and maybe I was scared of getting too close to him as well. I can’t just fall so easily to his words and be happy whenever he comes to get me or when he smiles at me. It’ll only make me want to have him to myself because maybe he was the only thing that’s been comforting me these days. The only person that’s been able to help me whenever I have those bad days; when he was just there when I just wanted to quit.
I went to my next class after the bell rang to end lunch and I was able to sit down in my seat before David entered the room. I avoided making eye contact with him and made sure I kept my distance from him. I guess I wasn’t completely in the right mindset because I forgot almost half the lecture and I just remembered that there'
“Michael,” Elliot called me as he followed.“Please, don’t. I’m not going to school tomorrow and I probably won’t see you at your game... Don’t overthink it too if I don’t text you back or anything. I'll also get over my feelings towards you so don't worry about me.” I said without turning back to him. “But you should still get this. I was bullied before. I know how it gets and I’m not trying to start anything again. You don’t get how horrible that feels to deal with.”When he didn’t respond I took this chance to continue walking and went inside the house before he could try to stop me again. I leaned against the door and sighed heavily as I tried not to think about what I just said. Once I calmed down, I walked over to my bed and laid down feeling tired and I wasn’t too sure if I should fall asleep. I was about to close my eyes when I heard the front door open then my mom stepped
By the time I woke up, my room was dark and my throat was dry. I took my time to get up and walked over to the kitchen to grab a cup of water. It was barely three in the afternoon and I slept for almost nine hours. I almost forgot how strong my pills can be, but then again I also haven’t been eating much so maybe that's why it affects me more. I put the empty cup in the sink then made my way back to my room to check my phone again. There was a message from my dad letting me know that it was fine for me to come over and another message from my mom checking in on me then there was another message from Elliot. I hesitated to read it, but all he asked was how I am doing. I wasn’t too sure if I wanted to text back, but I did. I put my phone down after the reply and closed my eyes as I tried to fall asleep which wasn’t so hard then later I was woken up by my mom after she came home from work. I got up and checked myself in the restroom before going to see her.&ld
So, Elliot might have feelings towards me... I let myself come to terms with this fact and I don’t mind figuring it out with him on what we are together. Friends or not. Partners; lover. Acquaintance. Even if he didn’t say that he likes me, it is better than him saying that he is disgusted with me for liking him. At least he’s not like those kids from middle school who taunted me and pulled away because of my sexuality.“You said we’re going to your dad’s for the weekend, right?” Elliot asked, breaking the silence.I turned to him, “I am.”“Did he ever move or does he still live there?” he mumbled and I knew what he wanted to ask.“He could still be living there,” I answered, nodding. “I haven’t stayed at my dad’s house for a little more than a year since I was discharged, but from what I remember he never left town after knowing that I almost killed myself.&rd
It seemed like she wasn’t uncomfortable with me here, but it’s been a while since we last saw each other as well. She went to the kitchen and I decided to take my bag to the guest room. I closed the door after I was done and paused when I saw the door to my room. I walked over to it and was about to reach out to open it, but I held back as I decided to wait until later. I went back downstairs to see Lily cooking and I went over leaning against the counter as I tried to figure out what to say to her.“What are you making?” I ask her.“I hope you don’t mind chicken Alfredo,” she said glancing over at me. “It's honestly one of the few things I can make.”I smiled, “It's fine. Pasta is my favorite.”“Good,” she said as she walked to the sink to wash her hands. “So, how is everything? Like everything since you moved to your mom’s.”I glanced over at her and s
I looked up to see Lily standing by the door; concern showing in her face. I wiped my face feeling caught crying silently in my room and I didn’t know what to say. She walked over to sit beside me and she reached out to wrap her arms around me giving me a hug. She held on to me for a while and it was just a nice comforting feeling like when my mom tried to console me.“It's okay to cry…” she said quietly as she pats my back to calm me.“I’m sorry,” I said between tears.“It's fine,” she said, shaking her head.“No, I’m sorry that I did that… I didn’t mean to hurt you or dad. I didn’t think of you guys and I did that. I can’t imagine dad finding me like that and how he felt. I was scared that he would be mad at me. Or hate me and never want to see me again.” I said.“Your dad would never hate you. Don’t ever think like that,” she said
I put my books away in my backpack, glad that we were able to have a decent conversation, and we went our own separate ways after hearing the bell ring. I saw Alex in class as she came over to sit beside me and we helped each other out on the assignment. There was a bit of awkwardness between us but maybe we still need to get to know each other more. But it was nice being able to sit with people that I know instead of being alone or distancing myself from everyone else that’s approached me in class. In P.E., the teacher had us walking around the track after roll call and Jennifer was asking about where I was since I didn’t go to school Friday.“I went to stay with my dad,” I tell them; Alex and Karen also joined us on our walk.“How did it go?” Jennifer asked.“Your parents are divorced?” Alex asked. “So are mine, but I live with my dad and my mom gets me every two weeks.”“Yeah, they are.
I thought about it and knew that she could be right about David not needing an excuse to be expelled, but I don’t think that will ever stop him from doing something after school if he ever catches me out of the school ground. That thought actually scared me more than it should have because it seems like David can be an aggressive person and that was the last thing I wanted to deal with. I was quiet during class as I was thinking about these things and when I went to P.E. the teacher actually had us do workout exercises; luckily that kept us all busy until the bell rang. I could tell that Elliot was watching David and I also made sure I was nowhere near him the rest of the day. I didn’t want there to be an incident and for a second I thought I saw David walking over to me so I quickly turned away when I was entering the locker room.“Hey, Michael!”I looked up and saw Luis, the boy that was talking to me when Elliot was teaching me how to play vo
The rest of the week went by easily and I wasn’t too sure how it would go after finding out that David is back in school, but he seemed to be ignoring me which I had no problem with. While I was in my tutoring session after school, Elliot was at practice, and it became a usual routine for us since we’re always waiting on each other. Sometimes I would go over and watch them practice, but I stopped practicing with them and I can tell Luis wanted to come over to try to convince me to join in. He would always greet me when we walk into each other and see how I am, but he no longer brings up about playing with the team or about his ideas about the equipment manager position; which I wasn’t really looking into. Friday came, Elliot and I met up as we were walking to our P.E. class outside in the field but I remembered that he had his volleyball game today.“I won’t be able to meet up with you after school,” he informs me.“It’s