By:  Mika  Ongoing
Language: English
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"I'm homiesexual. That means I fuck my friends platonically." Mateo and Kieran are best friends with benefits. It's not a big deal - until they start to catch feelings.

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21 Chapters
MATEOAn incessant buzzing brings me from my sleep. I groan, throwing a hand over my eyes to block out the harsh sunlight as I blindly search for my phone somewhere within my sheets. Whoever’s calling me this early in the morning better have a good excuse, because my dream self was eating a massive New York-style pizza. Before you ask, I don’t know how early it is since I still haven’t found my phone, but if I’m feeling this awful and I can hear birds singing, then you know it’s too early.My phone falls silent, and I let myself believe that this means I can rest. Nope – not a second later and it starts up again. I finally pry open my eyes, squinting against the sunlight and trying to shake the
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KIERAN“Are you an idiot?” I yell into the microphone on my headset for the billionth time. Rob had just gotten himself blown up by a creeper, leaving me alone in the mineshaft we had slowly been making our way through. We’ve been playing Minecraft together for the past few hours, and this kid doesn’t know anything! I’m honestly losing my mind, but there isn’t anything else to do. All my other friends are asleep. I can’t blame them, with it being 4a.m. and all. Honestly, I think Rob’s only stayed up this late because he feels sorry for me.Usually, I’d be on a call with Cordelia, but obviously, that ship has sailed. That’s probably why he’s put up with me yelling a
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KIERANI should’ve told him.There’s a particular type of heartbreak that comes along when your crush tries to set you up. It’s that innocent kind of misunderstanding that hurts all the more. It hurts because it’s a confirmation of what you already knew – that you are not and were never an option.“So,” Mateo says, grinning like he hasn’t reached his hands into my chest, ripped out my heart, punctured it with his talons, torn it into two jagged halves, pierced it with a sewing needle to thread it back up, and shoved it back in between my lungs back-to-front, “she’s pretty cute,
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MATEO“So.”“So,” Lana, Rob and Alex echo.“So?” Kieran replies, shrugging at us through the screen.The five of us are FaceTiming now that Kieran’s back from his date. He had been M.I.A ever since school let out for the day and hadn’t once texted to let us know how it was going. I had figured that it meant it was going really well and so I expected him to be ecstatic, but he looks only mildly happy.
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MATEOI’m high out of my mind. It’s a good kind – borderline euphoric where everything seems funny and unimportant now. A distant concern. I take another hit, leaning against the wall and staring up at the ceiling from my place on the floor. I barely react when my door swings open, hardly registering the boy tiptoeing down my stairs at midnight.“You could knock, you know,” is all I say as Kieran stares at me. Or maybe I just think it. I don’t know, nor do I care. Kieran looks at me with those furrowed eyebrows of his as he walks over. It seems like he’s moving throu
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KIERANI try to catch Mateo’s eye, but either the school-provided food is really interesting, or he’s ignoring me. Our friends give us a wide berth, shuffled to the end of the table, loudly talking as if to fill the void of mine and Mateo’s voices. Even Lana, who’s usually hanging off of Mateo like a bat, sits far away with pursed lips. I briefly wonder if Mateo told her what’s wrong before my conscious reminds me that it’s none of my business. I feel guilty for being jealous of her – especially since I’m the one having sex her boyfriend. She’s been nothing but kind to me, and she’s always looking out for me. When Cordelia
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MATEOI can’t look at him. I can’t.Every time I do, I get the urge to pull him in and never let go. This feeling of warmth blooms inside my chest, burning me in the most pleasant way, but knowing what it means – what I feel – I… I can’t.I can’t let myself love him. I can’t let myself fall for a guy. Not now, not him. I’ll ruin him. I can’t even be with him! Everything within me screams at me to end things, to cut i
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KIERANMateo crowds himself into the corner of his room, legs tangled in his blankets as tears stream down his face. Harsh sobs wrack his frame, coming out in rasps and gulps. His room is a mess – bed completely bare and random objects flung around the room. The lamp that usually lies on his desk is in pieces beside it. His series of framed photos that resides on his dresser lie on the ground, cracked. One of him and Lana on their first date is absolutely shattered. I gingerly pick my way across to him, watching out for any glass shards.I had come as soon as I got his call. He had worried me this afternoon with how distant he had been and how suddenly he had
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MATEOWhen I wake up, Kieran’s gone. I don’t think much of it – today we have a match against our rival school, Milton High. It’s the first one of the season too, so the pressure’s on, especially for Kieran. He’s our star striker, whereas I’m only a defender. He may be barely 5’4”, but he’s the fastest player on our team. If anything, his height is an advantage, as most opposing players don’t think much of him until he’s quite literally stealing the ball from your feet. He’s fearless like that – utterly unafraid of collisions since most people will back off at the sight of him flying at them.I had made the mistake of underestimating him at tryout
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KIERANIt had been a week since Mateo and I unofficially-officially started this thing. He had explained to me that he didn’t want to tell anyone yet, especially since Lana was still avoiding our group like the plague. She still greets us in the hallways though, and Mateo had told me that they’re in the process of reconciliation, which is all the more reason to keep this under wraps. I respect that, but it’s getting harder and harder to hide how much I like him. Our friends have noticed that I’ve been happier lately, and every time they ask why, I want to blurt the words out. I’m so happy with him, even if I’m not technically with him yet.
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