“Ga,” I called him while removing my glasses.“Hmm?” he hummed and at the same time he raised both of his eyebrows. Both of his palms were placed in his jaw and his elbow was leaning on the table where I was reviewing. Nagdecide na lang ako na magreview ng kaunti kahit hapon pa ang klase ko.Well, it’s just that mahirap magpakawala agad when you know na unpredictable ng scenario palagi sa law school.I hissed.“Can you like not…” I pause, because I felt awkward. “Stare at me like that?” sabi ko. Hindi naman kasi ako sanay na may tumititig sa akin ng ganoon. I mean, my gosh baka kasi parang unggoy ako or may dumi sa mukha ko kaya ganoon?“Like what?” sabi niya. Napabuntonghininga na lamang ako habang nakatitig sa kanya at naka-crossed arms. I turned my head towards him.“Gaya ng ginagawa mo ngayon, tigilan mo iyan,” Then I look away, tapos kinuha ko iyong notes ko at doon na lang tumingin.“Can’t I stare at something beautiful?”His words almost make me choke. Sigurado akong maibubuhos
Months are getting passed by like a wind. Things were getting serious with Lexus. He makes things go easy for me actually even if he’s so busy and loaded with stuffs since he’s year ahead than me. Hindi ko nga alam kung saan pa siya nakakakuha ng time para dumito sa apartment o kitain ako.I was outside and walking back to the apartment. I bought some snacks in the nearby store since I was out of stock already. Palagi kasing nasa apartment si Lexus tumatambay lately kaya nauubusan ako ng pagkain.One time, when I was reviewing nagulat ako ng bigla siyang dumating, nakalimutan kong binigyan ko pala siya ng spare key. Then I saw a lot of groceries in the counter top, as in sobrang dami, it could be a 2-3 months stock.Pinagalitan ko siya noon dahil feeling ko ay medyo naging impulsive buyer siya that time dahil feeling ko ay hindi naman niya mauubos iyon o naming dalawa dahil madalas naman kami sa Osiris. So in the end, we ended up giving some of the foods to the street children just b
Apologies after apologies. It was as if a cycle already. But you know why we forgive easily and accept apologies all over again? It’s because of the reason that we are in love. We forgive because we love that certain person, we love our family and friends that’s why.Lexus however, I know that he’s lacking on some aspects but that was also the reason why, we stayed because we loved everything about a certain person, flaws and stuffs are counted too and everything that’s not beautiful in that person became beautiful because we love them wholly.One of his exes suddenly showed-up in the middle of nowhere. The kind of ex that’s obsessive and too hard to handle. Eris is her name, daughter of a congressman. She keeps on showing in everything. Kahit na normal na lakad lang namin ni Lexus o kahit na hindi naman planado ay lagi ko siyang nakikitang pakalat-kalat kung saan.I’m not whining or ranting about his ex and stuffs before he met me because that wall in the past. Ang sa akin lang, para
It was our small break after our examination. Nagbakasyon ulit ako sa lugar namin since I also had to run for some documents and papers, at higit sa lahat ay ipapakilala ko na si Lexus sa mga magulang ko.I thought that it’s already a good opportunity for us, since it was long overdue already dahil kaka-one year anniversary na naming dalawa and we aren’t yet legal to both sides.The first two days, I spent it with my parents’ tapos namasyal lang kami, we even got to hot spring for some more relaxation and I felt it because it blends with the nature. Maraming tao ang nandoon but keri lang din. I saw some of my batch mates during my high school life so we have a little catching-up episode.On the third day of our vacation, Lexus will travel again by land and I swear sobrang layo no’n. I suggested na mag-book na lang siya ng flight diretso rito para hindi na ganoon ka-hassle. But he said na mas mahirap daw kapag walang kotse papuntang Iloilo, mahihiya raw lang siya kapag kotse na naman n
Napagtanto ko na mahirap pala talaga pasukin ang mundo ng pag-ibig, hindi siya basta-basta lang na kapag gusto niyo ang isa’t isa ay okay na. It isn’t like that, because having a relationship with someone is accompanied by pain and problems.“Almost three weeks na sunod nang sunod si Lexus sayo, hindi mo ba kakausapin?” nag-aalalang tanong ni Cha sa akin. Si Kaila naman ay nakatanaw lang sa akin but I know she had a lot of questions.“Hindi niya naman deserve kausapin. And why would I talk to a cheater?”“Okay. Just know that we are here okay?” Dagdag pa niya. Ngumiti lang ko bilang tugon. Then after some time Kaila speak-up.“Communicate with him sis. I know it’s hard but that’s should be the first option, and real talk lang, you being like this like running away isn’t helping you. Kung nasaktan ka, iiyak mo, magalit ka and all, resent him, but hear his side first no matter what. Don’t pretend like it’s okay.”She’s right. Communicate and don’t run away like scaredy-cat.I run away.
One of the things that drives me the craziest about our relationship is that beyond the insecurities, the fights and the ups and downs? It's that, no matter how long two people have known one another, how long both people shared times with each other, it can still be so intensely hard to keep one another, especially when you know things aren’t working out lately.In relationships, with friends, in family situations, at work, or just about everywhere. Being honest with another person, especially about your feelings and the things that bothers you the most, is terrifying. It's super hard actually.And by honest, I don't mean just saying whatever's on your mind, no matter how unpleasant or potentially hurtful it may be. But just as there's a difference between "full disclosure" and "honesty," there's also a difference between "I'm going to tell you what I think you want to hear because I'm afraid to hurt you or lose you in that way, that’s why" and "I need to be honest about my feelings,
I wasn’t able to read the letter.No, maybe I will never be able to read that, because watching it from afar or even thinking about it makes me sick to death.Five days after my birthday, unregistered phone number just sent me a photo of me and Lexus doing some wonders.I was startled, my phone’s tempered got a cracked on the lower part because my grip to it loosen-up. Nakatakip din ang kaliwang kamay ko sa bibig ko.Paanong…paanong may ganoong lumabas na litrato? It looks like someone took the means to shot a picture. And it wasn’t just an ordinary photo. It was sensitive, intimate, and sensual. Kahit pa sabihin na medyo blurry, my face was clearly shown, people who knows me will recognize me for sure, there’s no doubt. Ako lang naman iyong kita doon sa picture.It leaves no door to choose for more options.“Let’s break up.”I could feel a pile of emotions after emotions inside me but I really tried my best to hold it all because I fucking knew that if one single tear comes out, I’d
Kahit isang konting silaw lang ng liwanag ay hindi ko nakita.Maybe, I was destined to live in darkness. Baka kasi masyadong na-enjoy ko iyong pagiging masaya ko kaya kailangan manatili na ako sa madilim na parte ng buhay.I always knew this would happen anytime soonest. But shit…bakit naman masyadong mabilis iyong pagbawi sa akin? Bakit…bakit naman masyadong mabilis magpalit ng panahon ang mundo?“How do you feel?” Conan asked me. Hindi ako sumagot.“I don’t wanna live anymore,” I said. Not bothered answering his first question. I then heard him sighed.“There’s more to life than your pain Tala, trust me.” He said.I began crying. It scared myself. It scares me how I couldn’t recognize how beautiful life is. Because I know, at this moment, pain is covering my entire system. I just want to put an end to this. Kasi mas madali na lang kalimutan ang lahat kapag wala na ako sa mundo.“C-can I just e-end this q-quickly?” I said stuttering with every words I said. Nanginginig ang buong kata