Fated Sin

It wasn’t that I was shallow, but I just truly believed in waiting for your mate. I guess I never was able to express this properly and when my best friend peered at me behind his thick glasses and buck teeth, I just froze.

God I loved him, he had been a part of my life since our mother’s were pregnant together. We spent 15 years completely inseparable but I never once felt any romantic chemistry. The look on my face must have been horror as his eyes brimmed with tears and he took off running to his house three doors down. I didn’t even call after him, I just sat stunned. He told me he loved me, this wasn’t unusual, I had laughed and slung my arm around him as I always had and told him I loved him too. But the mood had shifted, we sat on our favorite bench swing on my porch, he shrugged my arm off and visibly shrank, “I’m in love with you, Jessie” and his eyes met mine.

He never spoke to me again after that and I was too terrified to reach out first. Jensen had been my life for so long that I was shattered and lost. Neither of us had shifted yet, we were the runts of the pack, but it never bothered me because we had each other. I spent the rest of that summer hiding in my room, at first my mom had told my dad we just had a spat and would be friends again in no time. But as the days progressed, her theory proved false. This wasn’t a simple forgotten heated insult, I had unintentionally stomped his tiny heart into a million pieces. I could just imagine the fine dust of destroyed hope glittering on my porch whenever I remembered that day. I cringed and berated myself for not saying something.. ANYTHING..

It was a week before school was supposed to start that I finally shifted, my wolf purred into place and my parents approached me that evening. They were proud of my shift, as all parents were, but they both seemed concerned as they sat on the edge of my bed with the lingering light from dusk creeping through my window. I had returned from my first ever sprint through the woods in my wolf form, I had felt so alone all summer that the companionship of Nya had lifted me to such an extreme elation. We frolicked and pounced, dove off the waterfall and hunted small creatures the entirety of the day. I was exhausted.

“Listen, Jess” my mom placed her hand on my leg, “i know how hard things have been since Jensen-“

I turned away at the mention of his name and my dad cut in,

“What your mom means is that maybe a change of scenery will be good” his voice was gruff and unsure, “your aunt Vanessa’s pack, they train warriors, a little strengthening up could be a great experience for you”

I peered back at them, my mind whirling with the prospect of somewhere new.

“We weren’t sure if you would be ready this year but now that you’ve shifted, she could absolutely pull some strings and get you a position in the training..”

“I’ll go” I heard the words leave my mouth and almost didn’t even recognize that it was me speaking.

They both seemed stunned at my instant acceptance. I had always loved my town, our tight knit pack, my best friend by my side. It never mattered that we were outcasts, destined always to be bottom of the pack. I had always said I’d live and die here, raise my future pups in our beautiful forests and never leave. But being alone now, I just couldn’t face school or the future, any of it.