Chapter 2

"Ba't ang tahimik mo naman ata?" Cleina suddenly asked and I shook my head.

"Mag-bestfriend lang ba talaga silang dalawa?" Tanong ko.

Kumunot naman ang noo niya, "Oo, bakit?"

She looked suspicious of something so I answered quickly, "Ang close lang nila. Akala ko nga kanina may something sa kanila."

She smiled, "Ganun lang talaga sila."

Hindi na kami nagtagal at nagpaalaman na lang din. She said she had to do something so we decided to go home.

"By the way, Renesmee, baby," mom called me, "We've already decided on the date of your wedding. It'll be a month from now. I think you and your fiancé have to talk about the details of your wedding, sweetie."

At the mention of our wedding, a thing crossed my mind, "Mom, can we do the wedding outside the country?" I asked. I was hoping that she'd agree to it. Napaisip kasi ako sa sinabi ni Cleina. This is a loveless marriage and it's already given that my life will be pretty miserable after this. Hindi pa pwede ang divorce sa Pilipinas kaya mas mabuti kung ikasal kami sa ibang bansa. Atleast kung doon, pwede kaming mag-file ng divorce. That's when things get out of hand.

"Why?" She asked. Dad suddenly appeared from nowhere.

"Why? What's the matter?" He asked, sitting beside mom.

"Your daughter want to do her wedding outside the country," mom answered.

"Why?" He asked.

I breathed out, "Dad, divorce isn't allowed here in the Philippines. I am going into a loveless marriage and there's no assurance that this marriage will last for a long time. I just want to secure myself. Kapag dumating ang panahon na kailangan naming maghiwalay, mas mabuti nang pwede naming gawin yun agad," I said.

They stared at me before nodding, "We'll talk to the Levines," he said.

"Thanks, dad," I smiled. I knew that they got my point.

Naging abala ako sa mga preparasyon para sa kasal. I had to try the gown that I'll wear. Ibang designer ang gumawa no'n. Ako na rin halos ang gumawa ng mga pagpili ng mga iba pang detalye. It was fun somehow. Just a little less exciting and magical.

"So," I turned my head and I saw Brooke standing beside me, "Bakit mo hininging sa ibang bansa tayo ikasal? What's going on in that pretty little head of yours?"

I turned to him, looking down, "I know that the time will come that we'll get ourselves out of this marriage." I met his gaze, "After all, you never wanted to marry me and you're just doing this for your sister. You had no choice."

He stared at me before nodding his head, avoiding my gaze, "You're right. I had no choice," he returned his sight to me, "And you'll never be my choice."

I felt a pang of pain in my chest. It's not that I want him to choose me over something, but because of the way he said it. He said it like I'm not worthy enough to be one of his, or anybody's choice. That I'm not worthy enough to be his choice. 'Cause I will never be someone's choice.

After our talk, he left.

Our wedding is so close. Palagi na kaming nagkikita ni Brooke pero wala namang nagbabago. Nagkikita kami pero parang wala lang ang presensiya namin sa isa't-isa. We barely even talk. When we are doing things for our wedding like choosing the gowns, suits, cakes, designs, motifs, he wouldn't really insert a lot of effort to it. He said there's no need to choose the details very carefully because it's just an arranged marriage. 

There was nothing special about the marriage. But to me, it somehow was. I wanted to choose the details carefully because it was my dream ever since then. One of a woman's biggest dreams is to have the perfect wedding. I at least wanted myself to have my dream wedding. Even if I am marrying a guy who doesn't love me.

"Ano? Hindi ka pa ba aalis?" Tanong ni Brooke na halatang inip na inip na. We were choosing the cake for the wedding.

"I'll stay, you should just go," I said. And the jerk did it without even blinking an eye.

After a week, we flew to California. We decided to do the wedding there. It was actually a little funny that I'll marry a guy there. I couldn't believe they'll waste so much money just for an arranged marriage.

"You'll stay here for the meantime," his mom said. We were in one of the houses they own in L.A. "Brooke will tour you around the house, Renesmee. While we and your parents will stay in another house."

Tumango na lang din ako. They gave me advices before going their way.

Doon naman ako nagkapanahon para ilibot ang paningin ko sa malakig bahay. Everything looked so luxurious. Everywhere I look inside the house, luxurious things are all over the place. From the paintings, the furniture, vases... everything. Kahit pa nga ang sahig ay halatang pang-mayaman na.

They must be filthy rich. May masasabi naman kami sa buhay pero hindi ganito katulad nila. Bigla tuloy akong nalula dahil sa kaalamang 'yon. Add the fact that this house is located in L.A. This is the city where hollywood celebrities live! Like, what the hell!

I calmed myself down. This isn't really the time to be like this.

Humarap ako kay Brooke, "Can you bring me to my room? I'm tired," I said. He just nodded. Nauna naman siyang maglakad kesa sa akin kaya sumunod na lang ako. And when I saw us approaching the staircase, I cursed inside my head. That's one big staircase! I had a hard time carrying my luggage while we were on the stairs. I was even shocked when Brooke took it from me.

"I'll carry these," he just said. I didn't argue because I know that I couldn't do it by myself. Walang kahirap-hirap niyang binitbit 'yon paakyat hanggang sa makarating kami sa harap ng kwarto ko.

Not bad.

Inilapag niya ang luggage ko sa kwarto. Tinanggal ko ang pagkakatali ng buhok ko bago ko siya hinarap. "Thank you," I said. His brows were furrowed while staring at me so my forehead knotted. "What?"

He shook his head before closing the door to my face. I rolled my eyes. Minsan talaga napakabastos ng lalakeng 'yon. Hindi niya naman masyadong pinapahalata na hindi niya 'ko gusto, 'no? Not that I'm saying that he likes me, but... Hindi ba pwedeng plastikin niya na lang ako?

I sighed before going to the bathroom to wash myself. I took a quick bath before going to bed. I went straight to bed, staring at my ceiling. I can feel my body aching all over as I stared into nothingness. 

I wonder how this marriage will turn out. This whole marriage thing... I'm not sure about any of this. I just know that this will change everything about my life. I just hope this works, 'cause I don't exactly know what I'm going to do if it doesn't.

If not, then, let's have some fucked up married life, shall we?