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Kabanata 15
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For the Unloved Kabanata 16
People always ask me what I want out of life like it’s a simple question with a simple answer. It isn’t. Or at least it doesn’t feel like it is.Because I just want too many things that contradict each other. I want so much that my real answer would overwhelm them.I guess that I just want so badly to be happy.I want to smile to myself. I want to smile at myself. I want to be somebody that is worth loving. I want to love myself.I want to be a person who is calm. I don’t want to over-react to the irrelevant nuisances in life, and I never want to let them distract me. I want to be motivated and ambitious and accomplished.I want to be honest. But not in the way that’s mean or brutal or harsh. I just want to be genuine and real. But I also always want to be understanding and compassionate, and I never want to be judgmental.I want to be the person who is always laughing. I want to be the person with the laugh that makes you laugh. I want laughter to keep me alive.Pero grabe lang. Ang
For the Unloved Kabanata 17
Why does time seem to move faster when you're doing something enjoyable and slower when you're bored? This phenomenon has given rise to a popular saying you've probably heard many times before: time flies when you're having fun. Why does it do that?Psychologists who have studied this phenomenon have confirmed that people do indeed perceive time differently depending upon their mental state and the activities they're engaged in. If you think about it, it just makes common sense.When you're bored or doing something you'd rather not be doing, your mind is not occupied and it tends to wander. When it wanders, it often wanders toward the clock, as you think about how much time must pass until you're able to do something you'd rather be doing.On the other hand, when you're happily engaged in an activity you enjoy, your mind tends to be fully focused on the fun you're having. You don't worry as much about time passing, because you're enjoying the moment while it lasts.I wish I could st
For the Unloved Kabanata 18
Caring is not a crime. Getting attached easily is not a sign of a weakened heart.We should be proud of our vulnerability. After everything we have gone through, it would be easier for us to say screw love, screw forever, screw happily ever afters. But we have not done that. We are still wearing your heart on your sleeve. We are still taking risks for love.It takes strength to hand over a bruised heart. It takes strength to love again after being torn apart in the past. It takes strength to act clingy.If someone does not see the value in our clinginess, if someone is uncomfortable with how much attention we give them, you should march your heart in a different direction. Your soft heart is meant to be appreciated, not mocked.Never settle for someone who makes you feel weird about how much you care."Unang beses mo ba ito?" He asked in a low voice.Tumango ako. Nasa loob kami ngayon ng sinehan. Isang psychological-thriller ang pinili namin. Nakapagsine naman na ako pero kasama an
For the Unloved Kabanata 19
All my life, I've been searching where can I found the real happiness that I need in this life. Through searching together with different people and travelling in different places... I found it in the most unlikely places. Sometimes happiness stems from loss— from the transformative power of letting go. "Pinatawad mo na ba ang mga magulang mo?" tanong ni Aquilino sa akin habang naghihintay kami ng aming order.Mas lalong napapadalas ang pagkikita namin. Nakahanap ako ng kaibigan sa kaniya, iyong tipo ng kaibigan na wala akong ikinahihiya. Ikinakahiyang i-kwento ang buhay ko, mga nangyari sa araw ko, mga kinaiinisan at kung anu-ano pa. Hindi ko alam na magiging ganito ako kasaya dahil sa kaniya. "Oo naman napatawad ko na sila." Sagot ko rito. Letting go of people who make us feel unworthy, relationships that are no longer benefiting us, feelings of self-doubt, unrealistic expectations that are controlling our lives, regrets, mistakes, and anything and everything else that is slowi
For the Unloved Kabanata 20
I don’t need someone who will drop everything at a moment’s notice, who will stand by my side and never waver, who will be perfect in every single way, even when life gets messy.I don’t need someone who will promise to always say the right things, who will never make mistakes, who will bite his tongue when weI don’t need an ‘ideal’ love, the ‘relationship goals,’ the kind of connection that you only see in fairy tales. I don’t need something that looks pretty for the rest of the world but lacks substance.When it comes down to it, all I want is someone who’s real.He doesn’t have to be my knight in shining armor. He doesn’t have to be dressed in the finest clothes or adorned with the fancy things. He doesn’t have to look a certain way, or hold a certain job, or be a certain status. He doesn’t have to always speak with caution and care. He doesn’t always have to put me first. He doesn’t need to buy expensive things or take me on lavish dates just to keep my attention.He just has t
For the Unloved Kabanata 21
How can I even begin to find myself when I didn't realize I was lost in the first place?I believe the most crucial test of all is the one where we have to find the courage and strength to look for ourselves again and again, because we're always changing. Fear is a significant factor in the way we lose ourselves, more so fear of the unknown. By definition, the unknown is not yet known, but we let it control us. Perhaps the question you should ask is, "How can I be okay again?" Seeing as we're humans, we will lose ourselves many times. It's the game of life, the luck of the draw, the "only time will tell" bull that we always hear. "Gusto mo pa bang magmadre?" tanong nito sa aking mas lalong nagpagulo ng sistema ko.Despite the fact that I grew up with sisters and loved them deeply, admired their lifestyles, and thought them to be the happiest people I knew, the prospect of joining the convent made my heart race with fear. Becoming a Catholic nun is a lengthy process that requires bo
For the Unloved Kabanata 22
"Ramona..." Aquilino called while pulling me close to him, one hand reaching out to caress my chest.I put my arms round him and gave him a quick peck on the lips before leading him inside the room. "God, this is what I really missed..." He said in a bedroom voice and quite panting his breath. My nipples immediately hardened under his expert touch. He bent down to suck my neck, grazing his teeth on my skin in the process. I can feel his need for sex, it was very palpable."You're driving me crazy, Aquilino..." I muttered, my breathless voice giving me away."Fuck it..." said Aquilino starting to undo my blouse buttons. "You're driving me so so crazy too, Ramona."I stood up and demanded for him to get into the bedroom and lay on the bed, naked.He did as I said and I stripped down to nothing but my black lace bra and my already wet matching panties. He caressed me down there. He smirked when he felt my wetness. "You're so excited for me, Ramona. Knowing that makes my buddy get har
For the Unloved Kabanata 23
I want to slow down the time. It's really fascinating how our perception of typical everyday events can be altered when a new love interest enters our lives.Colors seem crisper. All of our surroundings suddenly seem like the landscape that could inspire an artist to paint his masterpiece.Background noise we tried so hard to muffle out just days before, begins to form a rhythm. We find ourselves humming a little rhythm in accompaniment, and shuffling our feet to the beat.Work seems easier. You have a new confidence. No longer struggling with your own mind, doubting your ideas, and settling with your mediocre place in the world for fear of what ifs. What if doesn't work out. What if I'm wrong? What if I'm not good enough?Suddenly, because of the affection of someone new in your life, you know that you are more than good enough.You walk with a swagger that precedes itself.And yes, everything seems to be happening in slow-motion.If only it lasted forever."Can we stay like this fo
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