Wondering why I'm pissed off?
I'm pissed off at the fact that I had to leave work early just to go shopping.
From young, I always had over-bearing parents. Yeah, I love my Mum and Dad…
Without them, I wouldn't be here where I am today. With a good job, and a wealthy husband…
To anyone on the outside, this would seem like a perfect life.
But I've always felt like I've been missing out. My parents were so strict on me growing up. They always expected me to study, not to go out or have fun… Just to be absorbed into my schoolbooks 24/7, every hour of the day.
I understood where they were coming from. My dad worked at a factory, and my mum was just a housewife. That was why we struggled with money, and I guessed that was why they had such high expectations of me.
So I studied hard. I studied hard, and got amazing grades at sixteen years old.
In the summer holidays, everybody else was going out and having fun, but I had to work a full-time job to provide for my mother and father, until I started my A-Levels.
College, aged sixteen to eighteen…
I studied again.
I shut myself away from a social life, and I shut myself away from having friends. Because I wanted to focus.
Heck, I HAD to focus.
And in the summer holidays…
You guessed it.
I worked full-time again.
And the same thing happened when I was in university…
I got the grades to go to a Russell Group university.
The best of the best.
I thought that this would finally be my time to break free, to have fun…
But my mother didn't trust me to move away. She thought that I'd get knocked up by men, and come back pregnant with a three-year-old son.
My father swayed her round, and persuaded her to let me move away…
But it only lasted a few months, before my father began struggling financially again, because my student loan wasn't enough to cover both my rent and my living expenses, living in central London, unless I wanted to eat baked beans every night.
So I had to move back…
Transfer to a university closer to my mother and father's home, so that I would easily be able to commute there by bus or train.
To others, it might not seem like a big deal…
But to me, it really fucked me up emotionally.
Fucked up my mental health.
Everybody else was partying, and having fun.
Going out on dinner dates.
Going shopping.
Eating out at cute restaurants every day.
But for me…
Everyday consisted of the same damn routine.
Getting up early…
Eating breakfast.
Going to university.
Attending my lectures and seminars…
Not bothering to speak to anybody because I knew that I wasn't in the right state of mind to make any friends.
And then going home…
Studying, cooking, cleaning.
Being able to go on my phone for a few hours at best.
Just scrolling through social media…
Scrolling through the news.
People from university tried to make an effort with me, and tried to ask me to go out with them and have some fun…
But my answer was always no.
And every day, this cycle repeated.
Right up until I graduated with a Master’s Degree in Accounting and Finance.
I fell in love with a man at university…
Arturo Abruzzi.
I tried to meet him secretly, during the few free periods I had at university.
But eventually, my father found out.
He checked my phone…
Forbade me from seeing him.
And I never heard from him again.
Some people may say that your parents can't dictate your life.
That once you're eighteen, you're a free person…
But I've never really been free.
My whole life has revolved around pleasing my parents.
Meeting their expectations…
Making myself unhappy in the process.
I was never allowed to wear sexy clothing, I always had to dress modestly, I always had a curfew…
But despite everything, I was glad that I could help them.
Have the financial stability to provide for them.
At least all of my years in education paid off…
But I thought that the feeling of loneliness and emptiness would go away when I got married.
That none of the past would matter, as long as I was with a man I loved.
I blushed at his words, my cheeks flushing as bright red as my hair.“I'm so happy you got the book deal. Hard work pays off, babe. I'm especially happy that you finally got the good news you wanted, ‘cos I was getting quite tired of you biting my ass about it for months.”I giggled in response. “If I don't complain to you, who else will I complain to?”“I wouldn't have you any other way, babe,” he smirked, and before I knew it, he was down on his knees, holding out a ring in front of my face. I could feel my eyes well with tears. This felt like something out of a dream. It felt so fucking surreal.“Arturo, what are you-”“Sofia Martinez, I am completely and utterly in love with you. I don't want to spend another day without you in my life.“I want to grow old with you.“Have a million fucking babies with you.“Watch you write more and more books until we're both old and seventy-two.“I want you to be mine forever.“Forever and fucking always.“I love you with every fibre of my fuckin
I'd been waiting and waiting to hear back from a publisher.I knew that I was being impatient…Because they got thousands and thousands of manuscript submissions every day.But I just wanted to know what they thought of my story.And the waiting game was driving me over the edge.I tossed my laptop to the side of my bed, sighing heavily, frustrated. Arturo walked into the room, with a worried and concerned expression on his face.“Everything okay, baby girl?” he asked, alarmed.I stood up huffily, making my way towards him.“I still haven't heard back from any publishers,” I sighed, taking my head into my hands. “I'm starting to give up hope. I really thought I'd written a good story, Arturo. I really did…”“Patience is a virtue, baby girl,” Arturo reassured me. “You’ve just gotta have faith that your hard work will pay off. Even if it gets rejected, it doesn't make your story any less beautiful.” He wrapped his arms around me. “The opinion of other people won't change that. Our love
53bruceMONTHS LATERI sat down on my computer in my office, agitatedly getting all of my work done for the day.I'd spent weeks trying to do some digging on Donte.On Arturo...But I found nothing.With every search I made…Every file I looked at.It was like they were ghost men.They had nothing about them held against them on anything.I didn't want to let it go so easily...Because the fact that there was so little information just made me even more suspicious about them.But I learnt to let go.To let go of Sofia...That bitch and what she did to me fucking killed me.Replayed itself over and over in my head like a form of fucking torture.I could only pray that Arturo would fuck her over in the worst possible way.Make her feel worthless.Make her feel like she was nothing.Nothing without me.I rolled my eyes angrily, standing up in a huff.Fucking bastard.Arturo Abruzzi…You'll get what's coming to you one day.“Hey Bruce,” came the voice of my accountant as he strolled into
“You promised me that we would be together!” Carmen shrieked hysterically. “We've both been so miserable with our spouses. Why can't we just be together, Bruce?”I rolled my eyes, not needing this shit right now.“Divorced or not, I'm not gonna let this shit slide so easily,” I heaved, my voice strung with venom.“What do you mean?” she asked, furrowing her eyebrows.“I'm going to need to do some fucking digging,” I snarled. “If Donte Abruzzi thinks he can threaten me, he's got another thing fucking coming. There's definitely more to these motherfuckers that meets the eye.”“And if you don't follow Sofia, he isn't going to do shit to you,” Carmen shrugged, agitated. “Just let it go, Bruce. You're getting in bed with some rich motherfuckers. You're making crazy tons of money. I don't understand why you're so bothered by all of this.”“Whatever, Carmen. I'm going to work.”“Men!” Carmen sighed frustratedly.I shook my head angrily, before I turned on my heel, and began making my way ou
“No offense, but who the fuck are you?” I sneered, as Carmen rubbed her chin, immersed in thought. “This really isn't a good time. You can't just barge in here without an appointment.”“Now you listen here, you little shit,” the man seethed. “I heard everything. I know exactly what's going on.”“Excuse me?” I snarled. “What the fuck are you talking about?”“So this is the woman you've been cheating on your wife with,” he accused angrily.I jolted upwards, startled, wondering why the hell this man that I had no idea who the fuck was knew so much about my life.“I don't see how my personal affairs are any of your concern,” I snarled. “Mind your own fucking business.”“Spare me the self-righteous bullshit. I'm Donte Abruzzi. Arturo Abruzzi's brother.” He trailed off his sentence, balling his hands into fists. “Now, you're going to ring the police and tell them not to pursue the case of your missing wife. Jesus, with the way you treat her, I'm not surprised she left you.”“Excuse me?” I
“Now put a smile on that pretty face for me, baby. Because we have a flight to catch.”“Thank you, Arturo…” I whispered. “You don't know how much I needed to hear that.”49arturoI was at standing on my phone, calling Donte. Letting him know what was going on, and everything that I needed him to take care of.“Yeah, Donte?” I breathed.“Yeah, bro?” Donte answered, on the other end of the line. “Is everything okay?”“I need a favour, bro. I'm leaving London to go back to Manhattan. I need you to take care of business while I'm away. I don't think I'll be coming back.”“Has something happened, bro? Why are you leaving?”“I met her after all these years, bro…” I heaved. “And this time, I'm not letting her go.”“Sofia?!” Donte replied, in disbelief. Unable to believe his ears. There was a silence for a few minutes, and my heart pounded against my chest. “You can tell me the story when you're ready, bro. Just do whatever makes you happy. That's all that matters to me.”“Love for that, br