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Chapter six: Everything I told him
publish date:
2026-04-03 00:56:59
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HER: Secrets I carried alone Chapter Forty Eight: The Girl
“Hello?”I froze.It wasn't Jay.I pulled the phone away from my ear and looked at the screen again, just to make sure I hadn't somehow called the wrong person.Jay's name was still there.“Hello?” the girl said again.“Who is this?”There was a pause.“Who are you looking for?”“Jay.”“Oh.”That tiny response made my eyebrows pull together.“Can I speak to him?”“He's in the bathroom.”I sat up.“The bathroom?”“Yeah.”I didn't know why I repeated it, but the fact that another girl was answering Jay's phone while he was in the bathroom suddenly felt like something I needed to hear twice.“Can you give him the phone when he comes back?”“Sure.”I heard movement, then her voice became distant.“Jay, someone is calling you.”I waited.A few seconds passed before I heard him.“Hello?”I closed my eyes.“Hi.”“Anna?”“Yeah.”“What happened?”I almost smiled at that because there was a time when hearing concern in his voice would have been enough to calm me down.Now I couldn't even tell i
HER: Secrets I carried alone Chapter Forty Seven: Then
I didn't sleep much that night.Every time I closed my eyes, my mind went back to him.Jay.It was strange how someone could be such a huge part of your life and then suddenly feel like someone you barely knew.A few months ago, I never had to question where I stood with him.I knew.I knew the way he smiled when he was trying not to laugh.I knew the way he would look at me when he thought I wasn't paying attention.I knew the little things he did without even realizing it.Now I found myself thinking about every conversation we had, every short reply, every moment where he seemed distant, trying to figure out when exactly things changed between us.Maybe that was why my mind kept going back.Because I missed the version of him I knew.The memory came slowly.I remembered that day.I remembered how nervous I had been, even though I tried not to show it.Jay always noticed things about me before I said them out loud."You know you don't have to be nervous around me, right?" he had sai
HER: Secrets I carried alone Chapter Forty six: Processing
I stared at the second test kit in my hand for what felt like forever. The result hadn't changed. The two pink lines remained there, staring back at me like they were mocking every attempt my brain was making to explain them away. My fingers tightened around the plastic stick as my chest rose and fell unevenly. This wasn't supposed to be happening. Not now. Not with him. A shaky breath escaped me as I looked between the two tests sitting on the bathroom counter. Both of them carried the exact same answer. Both of them were telling me the exact same thing. I was pregnant. The thought still didn't feel real. It felt like something that happened to other people. Something I read about in stories or heard about through whispered conversations between friends. Not me. I was supposed to be worrying about school. About my future. About why Jay had suddenly become so distant. Instead, I was sitting on a closed toilet seat with two positive pregnancy tests in front
HER: Secrets I carried alone Chapter Forty Five: Pregnant??
I decided to stop forcing things.That realization came quietly to me that morning while I stared at the ceiling with my blanket wrapped around my body. There was no dramatic moment attached to it. I just suddenly felt tired.Tired of trying to pull closeness out of people who were already drifting away from me.If Ella wanted space, I would give it to her.If Jay wanted distance, I wouldn't keep chasing after explanations that never came.People stay when they want to stay.That thought hurt more than I wanted it to.I rolled onto my back slowly and stared at the soft light coming through my curtains. My room felt unusually quiet. Almost too quiet.Part of me still felt guilty over Ella.Maybe grief really did change people. Maybe losing her dad affected her more deeply than I understood. She probably needed different people around her now. Lighter people. Happier people.People who didn't constantly carry emotional weight around with them.I couldn't even blame her properly.But Jay
HER: Secrets I carried alone Chapter Forty four: Am I losing everyone???
The rest of the day stayed in my head long after I got home.I dropped my bag by the door and went straight to my room, kicking off my shoes before falling onto the bed face first. My chest felt tight in a way I couldn't explain properly. Ella's voice kept replaying in my mind over and over again.Always trying to make everything about yourself.I turned onto my back slowly and stared at the ceiling.How did we even get here?A few weeks ago everything felt normal between us. We talked every day. We laughed over stupid things. We complained about lectures together. Somewhere along the line things changed and I still couldn't figure out when it started happening.I grabbed my phone from beside me.Nothing from Jay.I opened our chat anyway.The last thing I sent him was still there sitting alone under the blue seen mark.are you busy?No reply.I swallowed and locked the phone again before tossing it beside me.The silence around me started feeling louder than it should have.I got up
HER: Secrets I carried alone Chapter forty three: Change
I woke up with a feeling I hadn't had in a long time, like my chest wasn't already heavy before my thoughts even started moving. The morning light came in soft through my curtains, and for once it didn't feel irritating or loud. I just lay there for a moment, staring at the ceiling, letting the calm sit inside me because it felt strange enough to notice. Yesterday was still somewhere in my head, but it didn't press on me the way it used to. It felt like I could breathe without forcing it. The first thing I did was reach for my phone. Ella. I didn't even think twice before I pressed call. I just wanted to hear her voice, like that would make everything stay steady in me a little longer. I sat up slowly, holding the phone to my ear while it rang. It rang once, twice, then kept going longer than I expected. No answer.I pulled the phone away and stared at the screen, my brows pulling together without me trying. T
HER: Secrets I carried alone Chapter twenty nine: Safe, In danger?
Ella and I got back late.Not extremely late, but late enough that my heels were already annoying me and Ella was still talking about the party like we hadn't just spent hours there together. "I still can't believe that guy fell into the speaker," she said while laughing for the h
HER: Secrets I carried alone Chapter twenty four: Dancing with danger
I opened the door and Jay was there. He didn't step in immediately like he used to. He just looked at me for a second like he was trying to figure something out about me before I even said anything. "You're home," he said. "I said I was," I replied and moved aside so he could come i
HER: Secrets I carried alone Chapter twenty three: Things I forgot on purpose
When I got back to school, everything looked the same. Same buildings, same noise, same people moving around like nothing had changed. But something felt off. Not around me. Inside me. I dropped my bag on the bed and sat down slowly, staring at nothing in particular. I though
HER: Secrets I carried alone Chapter twenty: I was stuck in my head
I didn't even know how much I missed Ella until she sat beside me in class again. Everything just felt lighter somehow. Like the whole place wasn't pressing on me like usual. We were supposed to be listening, but honestly, I don't think either of us were. "I'm serious," Ella wh
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