001

Damn

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Kaia's

Completely lost in the moment, hindi ko na maalala kung papaano ako nakarating sa aming table at naupo. Hindi ko na rin masundan ang usapan at tawanan nina Daddy sa mesa.

All I can hear is my heart beating loudly and wildly in my chest, as if it might burst at any second.

Gustuhin ko man sanang abutin at inumin ang tubig na tanging naka-serve sa harapan, hindi ko magawa. My hands quivered uncontrollably. Kahit anong pagpapakalma sa sarili ay walang nangyayari.

I don't know if someone noticed it. Wala ako sa sarili at tulala sa aking kinauupuan.

Hindi ko na rin masagot ang iilan at paminsan-minsang bulong ni Elyse sa aking tabi. She looked worried, mukhang nag-aalala dahil siguro sa naging reaction ko. She must have thought that I'm having second thoughts about being here, about this stupid arrangement. Well, I do. But not for the same obvious reasons like before.

Ang hindi niya alam... shit!

What on earth was he doing here, anyway? At bakit naman sa lahat ng pagkakataon na muli kaming magkita ay ngayon pa talaga?

My eyes went wide.

Don't tell me siya ang... pinasadahan ko ng tingin ang mesa. He's the only one here with my family, so technically...

"Hija, I would like you to meet Aril Adriatico, my business partner's son. He's the one I was talking about," sambit ni Daddy na tila ba kinumpirma ang nasa isipan ko.

Ramdam ko ang unti-unting panlalamig sa aking katawan dahil sa impormasyong 'yon. My mind refuses to accept it even though I have already thought of it.

Wait... maybe I'm dreaming? Binabangungot ba 'ko? I didn't thought of him for the past years, kaya baka ngayon ay nag iilusyon ako?

I tried to pinch my arm and it hurts! Damn it!

Hindi ko mahanap ang lakas ng loob para balingan ito sa harapan ko even I could literally feel his intense gaze fixed upon me. Para akong tinutusok sa talim ng paninitig niya.

I had played out this scenario in my mind for nearly five years, you know? But nothing beats the reality.

Lagi kong iniisip dati na magkikita kaming muli at sa mga sandaling iyon, wala na akong kahit anong emosyong nararamdaman para sa kanya. Ultimo galit, wala. Pero iba pala kapag nagkatotoo na.

Akala ko ay okay na ako. I thought that I can handle myself well kapag nakita ko siyang muli. But damn it! It seems like yesterday kahit ilang taon na ang lumipas!

And out of all the possible scenarios that I have imagined of meeting him again, ni hindi sumagi sa isip ko na siya pala ang tinutukoy ni Daddy na anak ng bagong business partner niya.

I could have provided another solution instead of sacrificing myself like this! Kung kanina ay okay lang sa akin ang magpakasal sa kung sino, ngayon ay hindi na! Lalo na kung siya nga!

This is so stupid!

Napapikit ako nang mariin. Unti-unting nag si-sink in sa aking utak ang mga nangyayari.

Am I really going to marry him? Him?!

Mas kumalabog ang puso ko dahil sa naiisip.

Okay, I need to calm down. I'm just shocked. That's all!

I have already moved on. I swear. I was just caught off guard that's why I couldn't stop my heart from racing stupidly. Yup, that's all it was.

"I presume you're already familiar with his surname since you're friends with Caleb and Dean. They are his cousins," patuloy ni Daddy, who's clearly oblivious to the tension between me and the man he was introducing. "Aril, this is my first-born daughter, Kierra Adelaide Arevalo."

Batid ko sa gilid ng aking mga mata ang pagtaas ng kilay niya nang banggitin ng aking ama ang tungkol sa pagiging kaibigan ko pa rin sa mga pinsan niya.

Well, what's wrong with that? Hindi naman sila ang nang-iwan sa akin at pumunta sa ibang bansa para maglaho ng parang bula.

His cousins were there when I was a complete mess. They were the ones that helped me to move forward, kasama ang bestfriend ko na si Adrian. They all knew how broken and devastated I was at that time. The three of them saw it all first hand.

Ni walang nakakaalam sa naging relasyon namin maliban sa kanila. Even Elyse doesn't know about it. Kung kaya't silang tatlo lang ang nalapitan ko sa mga oras na 'yon.

"It's nice to finally meet you, Kierra Adelaide," malamig na wika ni Aril sa aking harapan. Tumayo siya at naglahad ng kamay.

Tulala kong tiningnan iyon at nang tumikhim si Daddy at doon ko pa lang natanto na dapat ko itong kunin.

Dahan-dahan ko iyon inabot, ngunit agad ko rin binitawan na para bang napaso.

My brow arched when I realized something. Kierra Adelaide, huh?

Tipid na ngiti lamang ang naging tugon ko habang hindi pa rin siya binabalingan.

Damn it! Mukha naman akong bitter nito! I swear I am not!

"You can call her Kaia, hijo. That's her nickname. It was derived from her initials since her middle name is Ignacio," ani Daddy.

Tumango-tango ito sa aking ama na tila ba bagong impormasyon sa kanya iyon. Gusto kong mapairap.

Nang makaupo na ito ulit ay patuloy ang pag-uusap nila ni Daddy tungkol sa business. Maging si Mommy ay sumasali sa usapan.

"I'm actually disappointed that Kaia doesn't want anything to do with our company," dinig kong halakhak ni Daddy nang mapunta ang usapan tungkol sa pamamahala. "But I can't complain because she's good at what she does. She's currently working at Vitruvius for her apprenticeship. She graduated with degree in Architecture, top of their batch."

Kumunot ang noo ko at nairita. Why does it feel like my father is prostituting me? Alam kong parte lang ito ng pagpapakilala niya sa akin pero hindi ko gusto na ibahagi ang kahit anong impormasyon na 'yon sa lalaking nasa harapan namin. I hate every bit of it.

"Then I guess she must be really close with Caleb," sagot ni Aril. Hindi nakatakas sa akin ang sarkastikong tono ng kanyang boses.

"Oh, yes, yes! I heard he helped her once for her thesis. Your cousin is really an impressive engineer! Maging si Dean ay mahusay sa negosyo. Must be really in your genes, huh? I'm so glad when I learned they were friends with Kaia. But anyway, how are your parents? When will they be back?"

"They will be back before the announcement of the..." I heard him trailed off before he coldly added, "engagement."

My stomach twisted at the last word. Hindi ko na nakayanan at inabot ang baso ng tubig. Agad akong nag sorry nang kamuntikan ko na mabangga ang kamay ng waiter na naglalagay ng mga kakarating lang na pagkain.

I saw my father nod. "Fredo needed that break after everything that happened with the Guytingcos. Buti na lang ay naresolbahan agad iyon. It was such a big mess."

"Let's not talk about that, Adel," dinig kong saway ni Mommy.

"What? Why? What's with the Guytingcos, Dad?" kuryusong tanong ni Elyse. Napaisip ako kung bakit parang interesado siya sa topic na iyon nang maalala kong Guytingco nga pala ang isa sa mga matalik niyang kaibigan.

I was tempted to look at the man in front of me to see his reaction. Kuryoso ako kung bakit tila ba ayaw ni Mommy pag-usapan iyon. Pero ang kakarampot na katinuan ang siyang pumipigil sa akin.

"No, it's okay Tita," aniya. "It's not exactly a secret anymore anyway."

"What is it?" udyok ni Elyse sa aking tabi.

"Stop it, Elyse. Forgive me, Aril. We don't have to talk about that right now," ani Daddy, bago binalingan ang mga pagkain. "Shall we eat?"

"No worries, Tito. It's really fine."

Ilang sandali natahimik bago ulit magbukas ng panibagong usapan si Daddy para na rin siguro maibsan ang tensyon na dinulot no'ng huli. I heard them laughing now pero hindi ko na masundan ang kanilang usapan.

Halos hindi ko rin magalaw ang kaka-serve lang na steak sa harapan ko. I was just playing with the poor meat using my fork and knife. It looked appetizing and yet, I couldn't really enjoy it. Tuluyan na ata akong nilayasan ng gutom.

Kung sana ay hindi ko iniwan ang phone ko sa sasakyan ay baka nabalita ko na kay Adrian ang nangyayari ngayon. Para akong mababaliw sa bawat segundong lumilipas.

Napakagat ako ng labi nang maisip kung alam ba nina Caleb na nakabalik na ito? They are his cousins, so for sure they must have heard about it right? But why didn't they tell me? Was it sudden? Hindi siguro... dahil paanong biglaan gayung may kasunduan na ganito? I should check with them later and ask if they have any idea about this arrangement.

"Ate?"

Agad akong napabaling nang marahang pinisil ni Elyse ang kamay ko, she looked so... guilty. Why?

"You're spacing out, they were asking about the project that you were working on," dagdag na bulong niya, ang mga mata ay puno ng pag-aalala.

Napabaling ako kay Daddy na mukhang naghihintay ng sagot. Kumunot ang noo nito nang ilang segundo pa ay wala siyang narinig mula sa akin.

"I'm sorry, but can I excuse myself for a minute?" paalam ko at tuluyan nang tumayo para umalis sa mesa, hindi na naghintay ng sagot mula sa kanila.

Hindi ko na makuha ang pahabol na sinabi ni Daddy dahil tuloy-tuloy lamang ang paglakad ko papalayo. Ang huli kong narinig ay ang pagsaway ni Mommy dito.

"Let your daughter breathe, Adel."

Ayokong maging bastos but I can't process my thoughts well kapag lalo pa akong nagtagal doon. Hindi rin ako makahinga nang maayos sa gulat. I seriously need a moment to pull myself together before going back there.

Instead na sa rest room pumunta, pumunta ako sa dulong parte ng restaurant na naka-reserved para sa al fresco dining nila para makalanghap ng sariwang hangin.

Buti na lamang ay walang mga kumakain ngayon dito. It's perfect for me to gather my thoughts in peace.

Ngunit wala pang dalawang minuto nang makarating ako roon nang may nagsalita.

"Why do you act as if you don't want any part of this?"

Napabaling ako sa matalim at pamilyar na boses ng lalaki sa likuran ako. Punong-puno ng akusasyon ang mga mata nito.

"W-what?" Lito kong tanong sa kanya pabalik dahil gulat pa rin ako sa katotohanang sinundan niya ako dito.

Why would he follow me here? Did Dad ask him to?

"You act as if you're really surprised to see me here, but didn't you plan all of this?"

Hindi ko maintindihan ang sinasabi niya at kung bakit mapait ang tono nang sabihin iyon. Kumunot ang noo ko. Ano raw?

"I'm supposed to marry your sister, right? Pero ano? Nalaman mo na ako ang pakakasalan kaya nag prisenta ka na ikaw na lang?" nanunuya niyang tanong.

Lumapit siya dahilan ng pag-atras ko. I saw how his jaw clenched when he noticed my movement.

Matalim ko siyang tiningnan. What the hell?

Teka nga. Bakit kung makaasta siya ay parang siya pa ang dehado dito? Hindi ba siya naman itong nang-iwan sa akin at umalis nang walang pasabi?

Kung may galit man dito, dapat ako 'yon! Why is he acting like I'm the one at fault here?!

Ni hindi ko alam na siya iyong tinutukoy ni Daddy! I have no idea! Kung alam ko lang ay hindi ako agad-agad na papayag! I would have proposed another solution!

Desperado lang ako sa mga oras na iyon! I just really want to save my sister so bad from this fucked up situation!

Hindi ko na dapat ito papansinin at akmang papasok na lang sa loob ng resto nang hilahin niya ang kamay ko. Napasinghap ako sa init na dumadaloy mula sa kanyang kamay patungo sa akin. Taliwas ang init ng kanyang katawan sa kanyang malamig na asal.

He smirked, like he still knew the effect he had on me, and all I can think is how I badly want to wipe it off his gorgeous face. Agad kong binawi ang braso ko rito.

This is the man that I had loved five years ago, when my heart was still pure and innocent.

He was taller than I remembered at mas toned na rin ang katawan nito kumpara dati. No, scratch that. It was bulkier now, but perfectly proportioned to his towering height. And instead of his charming smile that he usually sported, especially when he's teasing me, his lips formed a thin line as if he's impatient about something.

He looked so manly and matured in his tuxedo. Ayoko mang aminin, but the five years that have gone by really did him well.

Unlike before na mukhang maloko at may balak gawin na kung ano, now, his overall demeanor is cold and reserved. I also noticed a hint of stubble on his jawline when he turned his face slightly. But his eyes are still the same.

Those ash-gray orbs gaze at me as if they hold knowledge of everything, even my deepest darkest secrets. Laging gano'n ang pakiramdam ko tuwing tinititigan ang kanyang mga mata. Kahit pa noon.

And I hate it. I hate him!

"What now? You will run away again? Where's the mighty Kaia that I used to know?"

Hindi ko mapigilan ang pag-alab ng galit sa aking puso.

He left me, with no proper explanation. Literal na binura ako sa buhay niya and yet, siya pa itong may lakas ng loob para magbitiw ng kung ano-ano sa harapan ko! Ang kapal naman talaga ng mukha ng isang 'to! He should be begging for my mercy! Dapat ay siya itong malakas ang kabog ng dibdib at hindi mapakali sa kahihiyan!

I looked at him with pure anger. Hindi ko na maitago iyon sa sarili ko. So much for not being bitter and moving on!

Pero hindi ako mapakali nang makita rin ang katulad na emosyon sa kanyang matalim na mata.

How dare he? Anong karapatan niyang magalit!

This is the man I once loved, but also the man who broke my heart. And he wasn't even sorry for it! Even just for a bit!

Talagang siya pa itong galit!

"Think what you want, Aril. It's nice seeing you again, but I hope this is the last time I have to," malamig kong sambit, akmang papasok na ulit sa loob nang matigilan ako sa mga katagang lumabas sa kanyang malupit na bibig.

"I really hope so too. Because there's no way I'll marry you." He said it with resentment and hatred, as if I were the one who left him five years ago.

Naiwan akong tulala roon nang unahan niya ako sa pagpasok. Hindi ko magawang sumunod agad dahil hindi pa ako nakakabawi sa mga sinabi niya.

I bit my lip to keep it from trembling as anger surged inside me.

Damn... him. Just damn him!

Damn you, Adriatico!

There's no way I will be marrying you too!