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Kabanata 19

Author: kmn
last update Last Updated: 2023-12-22 23:31:36

Lost & Found

Lumingon ako ulit sa kan’ya at takang tumingin. Wondering what he said was for.

“Huh?”

Binalingan ko ang hawak niyang phone. Not really sure if he was talking to me or someone else. Pero nakababa naman na iyon at tapos na ang tawag.

He sighed and then walked towards me. Pareho na kami ngayong nasa hamba ng gazebo.

“I know you’re avoiding me. There’s really no point in denying it. I know. I just want to know why.”

My throat ran dry. Akala ko ay tapos na kami sa usapang ‘to. I’ve been trying to have a decent conversation with him pero siya naman itong nanahimik bigla kanina. This was what he’d been thinking?

I bit my lower lip and exhaled slowly. Pinag-iisipan kung sasabihin ko na ba sa kan’ya para matapos na pero hindi ko talaga alam kung papaano ko sisimulan.

If I honestly admit that I followed him last time, iyong sa ospital, hindi ba pangit iyong tingnan? What I did was really weird and off-limits. Talagang napangunahan lang ako nang hinala kaya ko nagawa. Pero hindi ko
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  • Her Buried Desires   Kabanata 20

    ForgetNagising ako sa marahan na haplos sa aking pisngi. Unang tumambad sa akin pagkadilat ko ng aking mga mata ang mukha niyang nakadungaw. His eyes were gently staring at me.“Did I wake you?” he whispered huskily.Marahan akong napakurap. My head is resting on his arms. Habang gamit ang isang kamay, his thumb lightly caressed my face. Ang buong atensyon niya ay nasa akin.Then I remembered that we slept cuddling with each other last night pagkatapos ng usapan na ‘yon. He didn’t say anything, but he was very touchy after that conversation. His embrace was so tight.At first, I thought that it was awkward. Dahil kahit papaano ay nahihiya pa rin ako at hindi gaanong sanay na ganito na kami kalapit muli. I never really imagined that this day would come. Ang lagi ko lang naiisip noon ay kung papaano kami makikitungo sa isa’t isa pagkatapos ng kasal.But now… here we are.It all felt new and familiar at the same time. Iyong tipong parang bago na hindi. As if it was a hobby that you lear

  • Her Buried Desires   Kabanata 19

    Lost & FoundLumingon ako ulit sa kan’ya at takang tumingin. Wondering what he said was for.“Huh?”Binalingan ko ang hawak niyang phone. Not really sure if he was talking to me or someone else. Pero nakababa naman na iyon at tapos na ang tawag.He sighed and then walked towards me. Pareho na kami ngayong nasa hamba ng gazebo.“I know you’re avoiding me. There’s really no point in denying it. I know. I just want to know why.”My throat ran dry. Akala ko ay tapos na kami sa usapang ‘to. I’ve been trying to have a decent conversation with him pero siya naman itong nanahimik bigla kanina. This was what he’d been thinking?I bit my lower lip and exhaled slowly. Pinag-iisipan kung sasabihin ko na ba sa kan’ya para matapos na pero hindi ko talaga alam kung papaano ko sisimulan.If I honestly admit that I followed him last time, iyong sa ospital, hindi ba pangit iyong tingnan? What I did was really weird and off-limits. Talagang napangunahan lang ako nang hinala kaya ko nagawa. Pero hindi ko

  • Her Buried Desires   Kabanata 18

    LiarNapalunok ako at pinagtuunan na lang din ng tingin ang fountain sa ibaba. Of course I’m guilty. Iyon naman kasi talaga ang totoo. Umiiwas ako.“Is it really that hard to be honest with me? I just want to know what’s on your mind.”Ako naman ang bumuntong hininga ngayon. Ewan ko ba. Naguguluhan na rin ako.I looked at him. He looked at me too.This time, his eyes seemed to be begging me for something. Batid ko ang magkahalong pagod at pagsusumamo roon.May parte sa akin na gustong sabihin na lang agad sa kan’ya ang tungkol sa nalaman ko noong nakaraang linggo, but another part of me also doesn’t want to hear the end of it. Baka kasi lalo lang akong manlumo sa kung ano mang malalaman ko.I’m not really hoping to rekindle what we had in the past.Kung ano man ang mayroon kami ngayon, gusto kong isipin na dahil lang ito sa napipilitan kami sa sitwasyon na kinapapalooban namin. And whatever happens inside of this situation, gusto kong isipin na labas pa rin doon ang kung anong mayroon

  • Her Buried Desires   Kabanata 17

    DistantThey were sitting facing each other.Kahit na side profile lang ang kita sa babae, I am a hundred percent sure that it was her. Petite and curvy, with porcelain skin and chinky eyes. Nasisiguro kong siya talaga ‘yon.The place around them is also somewhat… familiar. Ilang segundo ko pa napagtanto na iyon ang lugar kung saan kami kumain last time. I can clearly remember the details and the ambience of the place! The same rose and heart decorations...So, I was right? Talagang may iba siya?Then why the hell would he tell me that he loves me? Para saan?At alam ba ng babae niya ang tungkol sa aming dalawa? The arrange marriage? And if she knew about it, what did she do? Pumayag na lang ba siya?It wouldn't make sense if she knew about our situation tapos wala siyang ginawa para mapigilan 'to, hindi ba?Dahil kung ako ang nasa posisyon niya, I wouldn’t let my man marry someone other than me. Kung talagang tunay kaming nagmamahalan, dapat ako lang ang ihaharap niya sa altar at wal

  • Her Buried Desires   Kabanata 16

    PicturePagkaraan ng ilang sandali, kumalma na rin kami ni Mommy. Nagsimula na siyang kumustahin ako tungkol sa trabaho habang nag aayos kami ng mga kubyertos sa hapag.Our conversation earlier made my heart feel lighter somehow.Hindi ko alam na kahit matagal ko na tanggap sa sarili that they will never love me like their real child, kakaibang sarap pa rin pala sa pakiramdam na marinig at maramdaman ang mga salitang 'yon mula sa kan'ya.If someone had told me years ago that I would hear those words from her lips, talagang hindi ako maniniwala.And I really thought that I had been numb for years. 'Yong tipong kahit anong sakit kapag pinapamukha sa aking hindi ako tunay na anak, hindi ko na iniinda. But the conversation we had made me feel a lot of emotions na matagal ko nang itinago. O, baka talagang kahit anong pilit kong maging matatag at umastang sanay na, nanlalambot agad ako kapag ito na ang pinag uusapan. It was really a sensitive matter for me.Natigil lang kami bigla nang may

  • Her Buried Desires   Kabanata 15

    Universes"Happy birthday," bulong ko sa kan'ya habang inaabot ang isang itim na box. Kinagat ko ang labi ko nang kumalas siya sa yakap para makita iyon."What's this?" nakangiti niya iyong inabot."My gift." Pinanood ko siyang buksan 'yon. I carefully watched his reaction.His eyes softened nang makita ang laman ng kahon."I have the same one but it's a bracelet," sambit ko at inangat ang kanang kamay para ipakita sa kan'ya.Inangat niya ang kwintas at marahang hinaplos ang pendant gamit ang hintuturo."Why would you give me this?"Niyakap ko siya ulit bago ako sumagot."Well, it's your birthday and I want to be the first one to greet you and give you a gift kahit bukas pa talaga.""You know you don't have to give me anything, right? You're more than enough, love. I couldn't ask for more as long as you're with me," bulong niya at hinalikan ang tuktok ng ulo ko.I smiled kahit nakasalampak ang mukha ko sa dibdib niya at hindi nakikita ang reaksyon ko sa kasalukuyan.I really love it wh

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