Kabanata 2

Bracelet

Nang makarating sa loob ay walang pag aalinlangan akong nagpaalam na aalis na.

I had a strong inkling that daddy would voice his objections pero nang makita ko ang tipid na ngiti ni mommy ay medyo gumaan ang pakiramdam ko. I took that as my cue to leave.

Hindi ko na hinintay na makabalik si Aril bago ako umalis.

I felt like a coward retreating somewhere safe. I could have stayed and tried to shrug off the uneasiness that slowly crept in me, but I couldn't.

Not when he's near and absolutely not when his words are full of spite as if he's the one that was left with a broken heart.

I guess I'll just have to resort to an excuse like a work emergency, or I could simply say that I'm feeling overwhelmed—which is partly true.

But for tonight, all I wanted is to go home. To hell with him for thinking I'm running away. I couldn't care less about his opinion anyway.

May iilang text si Elyse sa akin at nag aalala. I reassured her that I'm fine. Gustuhin ko mang kausapin pa siya nang mas matagal at sa mansyon umuwi so we could bond, but I decided it's better if I went to my condo for the mean time.

I don't usually stay here. I only bought this property dahil may mga projects na kailangang hands-on ang involvement kaya madalas ay natatapos na ng madaling araw and since its near to our firm, it was a perfect investment.

And now, I'm really glad that I bought it. It has now become my safe haven.

Kahit naman na walang alam o kahit anong ideya ang pamilya ko sa nakaraan namin ni Aril, pakiramdam ko ay sunod sunod na katanungan pa rin ang madadatnan ko sa mansyon. And I'm too tired to deal with any of it right now.

I can even feel my head throbbing with all the information that I had to take for this night.

At dahil doon, hindi ako agad dinalaw ng antok.

My mind kept replaying what happened earlier.

I don't get him. I thought when I see him again, he would be at least feel sorry for what he did. Pero hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit parang mas galit pa ito sa akin.

Nang mag alas dose na at hindi pa rin ako makatulog, naalala kong tanungin ang mga pinsan niya. I tried calling Caleb first, but my calls went unanswered. Maybe he was busy or probably asleep.

So, when he failed to respond, I tried calling Dean instead and after two rings, sinagot nito agad ang tawag.

"Yes, sweetheart?" His voice carried an air of restraint. May narinig akong konting kaluskos sa background.

Between the two of them, mas malapit ako kay Caleb since he's a Civil Engineer. So, practically, we are in the same industry. Madalas din kaming magkakasama nina Adrian noong college kahit na mas ahead siya ng one year sa amin.

While Dean, on the other hand, is the typical golden child and heir to his family's fortune. He took up Business Administration at ngayon ay isang successful na businessman. And when his dad retires soon, he would be the one to take over of their company.

Madalas nga itong purihin ni daddy dahil talagang magaling sa business kahit bata pa. But we only became close because he had no other choice but to accompany me—his cousin's ex-girlfriend—when my heart was broken lalo na sa mga oras na busy si Caleb at Adrian.

"Hey, I just want to ask something," I said while staring at my ceiling trying to process what I am going to say.

Alam ba nilang nakauwi na siya? Kailan pa? Did they know about the arrangement too? Were they able to talk to—naputol ang pag iisip ko nang walang sumagot sa kabilang linya ngunit dinig ko ang iilang ungol ng babae.

Napairap ako sa kawalan. I heard him trying to shush his mystery lover.

"Seriously? Are you having sex right now, Adriatico?"

I heard him shifting in the bed and the sheets rustled. He murmured something that I couldn't comprehend and the girl on the other line giggled.

I couldn't help but to roll my eyes again. Typical Dean.

"Hey, I'm sorry about that. And what—hindi no! Well, not exactly," he chuckled. "What's wrong?"

I tried to ignore his comment about not exactly doing it because I didn't want him to go into more detail. His sex life was the least of my concerns right now.

"Well, he's back," I said, trying to sound casual. I didn't want him—or them, for that matter—to think that I am still affected. I knew they had their own problems kaya ayokong mag-alala sila.

"What? Who?" Lito niyang tanong. So, hindi rin nila alam?

"Aril, your cousin, he's back," I silently congratulated myself for not giving any emotion when I said his name.

Some might say I am over reacting. It's been seven years already, I should have moved on. But it's not that easy, alright? Lalo na kung bigla ka na lang naiwan sa ere, puno ng mga katanungan at hindi mo alam kung saan makakahanap ng sagot.

Adrian once told me that not having an answer is already an answer. Pero hindi ko maintindihan iyon. Because we were happy. We were fine that night. He even told me that he loved me.

But after a week, bigla na lang siyang hindi nagparamdam. I thought something had happened to him. I was worried and scared because I didn't know what went wrong.

And weeks became months and months became years.

Araw araw ko tinatanong sa sarili ko kung saan ba ako nagkamali.

May nasabi ba 'ko o nagawa? He should have at least told me. I was more than willing to change anything because I loved him! And didn't he say that he loved me too?

But no. My messages and calls went unanswered, so as my questions.

For seven years, I had to convince myself that there is nothing wrong with me.

Baka lang talaga hindi kami para sa isa't isa. Maybe we were too young—I was too young at that time.

I used to have a fear of being left alone and he knew it. He knew how I tried to overcome it pero little did I know, gagawin din niya rin pala sa akin sa huli.

But I couldn't entirely blame him, you know? My biological parents left me too. Siya pa kayang boyfriend ko lang?

I tried to brush off the familiar pain that I feel seeping in.

"How did—when?"

So, even his cousins doesn't know. They used to know and tell each other's whereabouts before but I guess, everything has really changed. I guess, he wasn't the same Aril that we know.

"I just learned it earlier. I thought you knew," simpleng sagot ko.

I am contemplating whether to ask him about the marriage gayong hindi pala nila alam na nakabalik na ito.

"No, I didn't. I don't know about Caleb though. Have you already called him?" He sounded worried and that's what I'm afraid of. Ayokong mag-alala sila because they have already done enough for me. Maybe I'll tell them about the arrangement next time.

"Not yet. He's probably asleep by now," wika ko at tumingin sa digital clock na nakapatong sa bedside table. "Anyways, I'm just curious if you knew, that's all," patuloy ko.

I heard him sigh.

Agad na akong nagpaalam bago pa humaba ang usapan. I knew he was worried.

When he asked me if I was alright, I could only respond with a simple yes. I tried to laugh it off but he was not convinced by my act.

I looked at the digital clock again; it's already 1:15 AM.

Nang hindi pa rin makatulog ay tumayo ako at kinuha ang isang lumang jewelry box sa ibabang drawer ng cabinet.

When I opened it, the familiar silver shine caught my eye. And that's when the memories started flooding back.

-----

He's late.

Napakunot ang noo ko nang ilang minuto na ang lumipas at wala pa rin siya.

I tried to call him but his phone was off. He had been missing in action for two days now, but I didn't mind it since he said he was busy last time.

Binalikan ko ang mga text messages ko na walang kahit anong sagot ni isa.

To: My Love

Me: Where are you?

Me: The program will start soon, love.

Me: Love? You okay?

Me: Text me when you're here pls. I love you!

I am starting to grow weary, but I held onto the faith that he will be here.

He promised me that he will attend my graduation and he had never ever broken any of his promises.

Sinusubukan kong pakalmahin ang sarili ko.

It's my high school graduation. I know he's busy with his plates but he assured me na a-attend siya and his college is not far from here kaya hindi hassle para sa kanya.

Aril, my boyfriend, is a year ahead of me.

I was in Grade 12 and he's in his college freshman year. But we managed to maintain our relationship anyways.

We've been together for almost a year now. He used to be my senior when he was in Grade 12 and I was in Grade 11.

And I hate to say it, but this is the first time he had ever been late since we started going out.

I didn't want to be a bitch about it though. I trust him, pupunta siya.

We're very discreet about our relationship due to our families—well, my family.

Pareho kaming galing sa kilala at tanyag na pamilya so we plan to tell them about it in person.

He was eager to meet them but I'm not ready yet.

Hindi pa ako handa sa magiging reaction nina daddy kapag sinabi ko. But I'll try to slowly open it up to them soon.

Nang tumunog ang phone ko, agad kong binuksan 'to.

Mom: I'm sorry, anak. We're still at Palawan, flights were canceled due to typhoon. We'll make it up to you soon. I love you.

Me: It's okay, mom. No worries. Stay safe!

I pinch my fingers. It's okay Kaia, Aril will be here soon. You have someone with you now.

Nang pinapila na kami para sa processional ay sinubukan kong muling magtipa ng mensahe.

To: My Love

Me: Loveee, wer r u??? Don't ditch me lol or I'll hate u forever

Me: We're about to march, san na ka na hoy!!! :(

I looked around, searching for the pair of my favorite ash-gray eyes in the crowd.

I swear, if he's planning to surprise me by making me believe that he would not come, I will be mad. It's not a good joke and I am seriously starting to worry about him.

Hindi na ako mapakali nang matapos ang opening program at wala pa rin akong ideya kung asan siya.

To: My Love

Me: Are you okay love?

Me: Tell me if you can't come but it should be at least a thousand-word essay and handwritten!!!

Me: Hihi kidding love love, but seriously, I hope you're fine. I'm starting to get worried.

Me: Text me back pls.

It's okay kung hindi siya makakapunta.

I had slowly accepted that fact after I received my medal and diploma earlier.

It's okay... it's not important anyway.

I just really want to know if he's okay. I tried to shrug off any negative thoughts and tried to message Caleb and Dean instead.

To: Caleb, Dean

Me: Have you heard from Aril? He's mia, not responding to my calls and messages.

I gripped the bracelet I am wearing tightly when I read Caleb's reply.

The pointed part of the pendant cut my skin.

Nang tapikin ako ng katabi ko ay doon ko pa lang napagtanto ang tumutulong dugo mula sa kamay ko.

The silver half of the angel's wings is now covered in blood.

Worry was etched on my classmate's face when she asked me what's wrong but I couldn't find my voice to speak.

Nahihirapan akong huminga and I feel like my chest is going to explode at any moment.

I can feel the beads of cold sweat formed on my forehead and around my neck as I begin to tremble.

And just before I lose my consciousness as darkness slowly consumed my sight, all I could think about were the three words that I had read earlier.

Caleb: He left, Kaia.

-----

I inhaled sharply as I revert back to the reality.

Hindi ko na namalayan ang iilang butil ng luha na kumawala sa akin. Tinabi ko muli ang bracelet sa jewelry box.

I will talk to dad about the stupid arrangement tomorrow. And I hope he will listen to me this time.