TWO

×Jamie×

I stood by Kate's car as I waited for her to arrive. Her classes ended ten minutes ago and I wondered what caught her up. 

Knowing Kate, she was probably socializing with her classmates and as much as that was great, I was in a hurry to go home. Unlike Kate, I was not free to socialize. It was frustrating but if it made things easier for my mom, I was willing to hold myself back.

I looked around at the wide parking lot that had a large number of students talking to each other by their cars. I watched in admiration at a specific group of students that looked more lively than the others and wished that I was like that. Free to mingle about and have fun with people who aren't only Kate. 

I scoffed internally. Willing to hold myself back, my ass.

"Jamie!" Kate called and I looked in her direction. "Sorry, I was having a talk with some guy."

"What were you talking about?" I asked, watching her unlock the car. 

"About Friday. It's a 7pm party that's probably ending in the early hours of the morning." She got into the car as I did the same. "He said that it was pretty cool last year and there are also some nonalcoholic stuff."

"Why were you concerned about the nonalcoholic stuff?" I asked with a light chuckle. That was so unlike her. 

She started the car and pulled out of the lot. "I did it for you."

I sighed. "You already know that I'm not going."

She huffed, "Don't you dare decide that all on your own. It's college, you gotta experience this shit."

"Well, this shit," I said, putting air quotes on the word shit, "will send my mom's head through the roof."

"I already told you that we will think of something."

Being Kate's friend for ten years, I have experienced her persistence first hand. She wasn't going to give up anytime soon so I nodded and looked out the window, watching the buildings that we drove passed.

Fifteen minutes later, she had her car parked in front of my house and I got out. I leaned down as our eyes met through the open window. 

"Thanks for the ride," I said with a smile. 

She smiled back at me. "You're lucky that our class schedules are not different enough to not be a bother otherwise I would have made you pay me."

"A 'you're welcome' would have been fine."

She laughed. "Anyway, I'll see you tomorrow and don't forget to tell me what your mother says about the party."

I rolled my eyes. "I'm not going to talk to her about it."

Kate rose a teasing brow at me. "I know you will."

"Whatever." I waved at her as she started the car and watched her speed down the road. That girl is going to get arrested one day.

Walking up to the porch, I got into the house and headed to the kitchen for some yogurt. I found my mother chopping some carrots and I gave her a small smile. 

"Jamie," she called, not bothering to look up. "How was school?"

"It was pretty good although we just talked about the introductory sections," I answered, grabbing the dairy that I came for. 

"Atleast they didn't give you too much work on your first day." She left the carrots and turned to the stove to stir the contents of the pot with a wooden spoon. "Dinner will be ready in an hour and your sisters will be home soon."

I nodded and headed for my room upstairs. Reaching my bedroom, I took off my shoes and put my backpack on the table near the door as I made my way to the bed. I sat on top of the soft mattress and pulled out my phone, opting in playing candy crush till dinner.

Soon, there was a knock on my door and I instantly knew who it was. 

"It's open!" I yelled, my eyes still fixed on my phone screen. 

Marcela opened the door slightly and poked her head into the room. "Dinner's ready," she said quietly.

I smiled, happy that at least one of my sisters had manners. "I'll be down in a minute."

I paused the game and got on my feet as I rushed downstairs. The heavenly scent of beef stew teased my nose and made my stomach demonstrate a whale's call when I walked into the kitchen.

"How's it going, Moby Dick?" Darcy teased, referring to the sound that my stomach made.

I rolled my eyes and sat across from her. "Not your best work, sis."

She rose her arms up in surrender and I laughed at how she easily admitted defeat this time. 

Mom brought out the food and we served ourselves as we talked about our day. As soon as everyone was satisfied with their shares, we dug in quietly. 

The atmosphere was great and everybody was in a good mood. Surely this was a good time to talk about something that wasn't talked about often. I let out a soft breath to ease my nerves and looked up at my mom. 

Despite eating almost half of her food, she looked absent minded. That was a look that I was used to seeing but it sometimes made me wonder if she enjoyed what she cooked as much as we did. 

I bit my lip nervously, wanting to tell her about the party but unsure on how I should start. 

I cleared my throat, gaining the attention of everyone at the table. "There's a party on Saturday," I half lied. "It's a welcoming party for first years and they said that attendance is mandatory."

"Really?" Darcy exclaimed happily. "That's so cool. I'm so proud of you, Catpig." 

I laughed. "It's not like you have gone to any parties yourself."

"I'm just so excited for you. You're not even paying and that, in itself, is greatness in its purest form." She looked at Marcela. "Right, sis?"

Marcy nodded as she slowly chewed her food. I looked back at Darcy, knowing that that was all that I was going to get from her. Unlike her twin, Marcy didn't talk much. 

"What are you going to wear?" Darcy squealed. 

Her excitement made me bubbly as well and I leaned on the table slightly. "I'm not sure yet but I was th-"

"Jamie," my mother spoke and the table went silent. I noticed Marcy look uncomfortable and felt bad that we were actually going to go through this again. 

"Yeah, Mom?" I asked, smiling a smile that I have mastered and perfected for years. 

"This.... Party sounds exciting but it's not for you. You will be staying out late, drinking and doing Lord knows what with people you don't know," she said worryingly. 

"I'll be with Kate and I don't drink."

"I know, but you have never gone to such events before so don't get easily swayed by your peers."

I grit my teeth in frustration. The reason why I have never gone to such events is because of you. You've never let me do what I want. "I'm not being swayed by anybody. You know that I'm not like that, Mom."

She sighed heavily. "I know and I trust you, but such an event is...."

"But," I swallowed nervously, feeling a little suffocated like I was being pulled down deeper and deeper into a dark lake, "I'd like to make a few friends this year. They could help me out in the future or something, who knows?"

"You don't need a large circle to navigate your way through life."

"At this rate, I might have no circle at all."

She looked up at me and rushed a hand through her hair. "How many times should I tell you, honey? Kate is your friend and that is enough. Other people don't matter, they will just hurt you."

"Sure," I said sarcastically and that marked the end of the conversation. 

The table was thrown into an uncomfortable silence. I didn't want anything too crazy or extravagant. Nothing expensive or rare. I just wanted friends. Couldn't she do that for me?

After ten minutes of dragging my fork around my plate, I stood up. My appetite had been brutally stabbed to death. "Uhm, goodnight then."

Darcy looked up at me, her eyes filled with worry but I shot her an assuring smile and returned to my room. 

I locked the door behind me and rampaged through my bag, pulling out my special pack of cigarettes. I pulled out one of the sticks and put it in between my lips. 

Mom would flip if she found out that I smoked. I never did it at home but today was an exception.

Getting my lighter from my drawer, I opened my bedroom window and leaned on the pane as I lit the cigarette. When it lit up, I took in a long draw, relaxing at the heat and I blew out, watching the swirls of grey smoke ascend into the night sky.