Chapter Forty-three

Alina’s POV

I met Clara when life had pushed me to the edge when I didn't have any reason to live anymore. I had no money, no friends, no prospects for my future, no family, nothing.

It was after I ran away from Sebastian Wolfe for the first time.

The world had ended and left behind a young woman and I was left in a dead end. No one wanted me anywhere.

I was stuck in a place I didn't know existed, a dark place in my head, where I lived alone and didn't exist. It was lonely, frightening, but most importantly empty.

All the hope and happiness drained out of me and my life was turning into an endless nightmare.

Victor had kicked me out of his house. I remember how much I pleaded for him to take me back after I ran fromSebastian, I begged to stay with a monster because I had no clue on what my next step was supposed to be.

He had told me that if I stayed any longer he'd kill me and I was convinced that he was right.

So I decided to leave.

There wasn't anything I could do anymore. I had lost all chances of finding something better.

Something real.

For days I begged on the streets, for days I begged for jobs but no one paid me any attention, they all thought I was high on crack or worse.

In their eyes I was a junkie that was just begging for whatever they thought they needed to buy their drugs and booze, to pay off the bills and get by. That I was trying to use them like a pawn to get my way.

I was desperate and desperate people do stupid things, like begging, crying, running, jumping off tall buildings, and cutting off their wrists with shards of glass and a few more things.

I had gotten the last rejection and I couldn't handle it properly. I sat by a corner in the street crying, no one stopped to ask why.

If I were in their shoes I would have asked but it was an eye-opener on how much the world had lost its kindness or maybe I was too much of a dreamer, an unrealistic dreamer that was too caught up in her unrealistic world.

But that didn't matter. All that mattered was that it made me realize that I needed something more. A change. A break. Someone to care for.

Something to help me get past my pain and that was when I picked up that shard of glass that was beside me and without thinking too much about it, I cut myself with it.

I knew that it was wrong, but I couldn't help myself. I wanted to feel better, even if it meant giving myself up for it.

I wanted to go to the world beyond, I wanted to go a whole new world where I had loving parents. But I sat there, hugging my arms in the dark, I bled until I lost consciousness.

But the great beyond didn't look anything like I had imagined, the lights were almost blinding when I opened my eyes. It didn't seem to have the feeling as the world I remembered them describe.

It felt different, foreign even.

It had plain white walls and when I tried to get up, my head was dizzy and I fell back down. I had forgotten where I was or how I got here, and even though I desperately wanted to remember, a sense of hopelessness overcame me and a huge sense of despair washed over me.

“Relax” a light pretty voice said to me. I didn't know who she was.

“Where am I?” I was still confused.

The voice laughed gently “Relax, you're at the hospital”

She smiled at me.

It was the first kindest smile anyone had given me and it made me cry harder than the cuts on my body could ever make me.

After what seemed like hours and after what might've just been seconds, I heard her move from where she sat to my side.

“There there” she comforted me with another hand on my arm.

“You're safe now, you're gonna be alright,” she said softly. “Just hang tight for now... we're gonna have you well soon”

We?

It was only then I knew that Clara McKenna was my guardian angel and she proved that every day since then.

She took me in, knowing nothing about me, even when I barely spoke for months, she never stopped caring. She treated me like one of her sisters.

She saved my life. I owed her, and I'll always owe her.

“Ma you zoned out again!” Clara's tone sounded accusatory

“What?” I was defensive

“You didn't listen to me”

“Sorry,” I gave her a small apologetic grin.

I didn't really understand what she was asking me but it must be important to explain.

She sighed “It doesn't matter, anyway” she shrugged it off. “Anyway, when were you going to tell me why you asked me to come here?” she wriggled her eyebrows suggestively.

“Oh that…” I frowned. “I have had a lot going on Clara, you've no idea.”

“Really?” she looked doubtful. “We all have a lot going on ma”

“We are outside the office, you don't need to call me ma”

Clara looked at me with an expression I couldn't understand . She had been waiting for an explanation for ages, and the way she held herself told me that she wasn't happy about the fact I hadn't given her one.

“I want to know where this came from,” she said finally.

“Look, I shouldn't have spoken to you the way I did or said the things that I did” I sighed deeply. “I didn't mean to upset you. I have just had so much going on in my life lately and I'm not good at expressing those kinds of feelings”

Clara nodded her head as if understanding completely and I realized that she probably understood a lot more than I realized.

We both burst into laughter . She pulled me close and hugged me as I started to bawl

“Don't worry” she whispered. “You're going to be alright”