chapter 5

Daisy

He didn't come across the river. I'll never know why. Maybe he thought he was finally going crazy. Maybe he was scared of what he'd find. He stood on that bank calling my name until his voice cracked, and then he dropped to his knees in the mud and stayed there.

I lay under those tree roots for an hour, freezing, watching him. I told myself I didn't feel anything. I was lying.

By the time I crept back into the staff quarters, the sky was turning grey. I swallowed three blocker pills instead of two, showered until the water ran cold, and pulled a long sleeved shirt over the burn on my chest. At seven o'clock, Damien knocked on my door.

"Alpha wants you," he said.

"His office. Now."

He didn't look at me when he said it. That scared me more than anything.

Lucien was standing at the window when I walked in, his back to me. He was still wearing the same clothes from last night. There was dried mud on his boots.

"Close the door," he said. I closed it.

"Where were you at two o'clock this morning?"

"With your mother," I said. "Her fever spiked. You can ask anyone."

"I did ask." He turned around. His eyes were red-rimmed and wild.

"The guard said you left through the kitchen at two-fifteen and came back at five, soaking wet." My stomach dropped.

"I went for a walk," I said. "I needed air."

"In the river?"

"I fell." He laughed. It was not a nice sound.

He started walking toward me, slow and steady. I backed up until my shoulders hit the door. Same door. Same office. Same man who pinned me here two years ago and kissed me like he wanted to swallow me whole.

He planted one hand flat on the wood beside my head. The other came up and wrapped around my throat, his thumb resting right on my pulse.

It was racing. He felt it. I saw him feel it.

"You're lying to me," he said quietly.

"I'm not."

"Your heart says you are," he said in his low voice.

"My heart says you have your hand around my neck, Alpha," i said.

Something sparked in his eyes. Anger. And something else. Something hungry.

He leaned in until his mouth was right next to my ear. His breath was hot on my skin, and my whole body betrayed me. Goosebumps raced down my arms. My knees went weak. Nyx was howling so loud I couldn't think.

"Every woman who walks into my house wants something," he said.

"Money. My bed. My crown. What do you want, Rose?"

"I want to keep your mother alive," I replied.

"That's it?"

"That's it."

He pulled back just far enough to look at me. His eyes dropped to my lips and stayed there.

"Then why," he said, his voice dropping into a rough growl,

"can't I stop thinking about you?" My breath caught.

"You have a Luna," I whispered.

"I know."

"So let go of me." He didn't.

His thumb moved slowly along my jaw. Then it brushed across my bottom lip, right over the cut I'd bitten into it last night. His eyes went black.

"I don't touch staff," he said, like he was talking to himself.

"I don't touch anyone. Not for two years."

"Then don't start now."

He leaned in. I felt his lips brush mine, barely, the lightest touch, and every nerve in my body caught fire. The door shoved hard against my back.

"Lucien?" Celeste's voice called from the other side. "Babe, you've been locked in there all morning. Your sister said you didn't sleep."

He froze. For one long second, neither of us moved. His forehead pressed against mine. His hand was still on my throat. I could feel how hard his heart was pounding through his shirt. Then he let go and stepped back like I'd burned him.

"Get out," he said. The same words. The same voice. Some things never change.

I yanked the door open. Celeste was standing right there, and her eyes went straight to my neck. To the red marks his fingers had left there.

Her pretty smile turned to ice. I walked past her without a word. I didn't make it to Helena's room before the screaming started. It was Seraphina.

"MOM! Somebody help! She's not breathing!"

I ran. Helena was gasping on the bed, her lips turning blue, her body jerking. Seraphina was sobbing against the wall. Damien was shouting into his phone for the pack doctor.

I shoved everyone out of my way and climbed onto the bed.

"What are you doing?" Seraphina screamed.

"Get away from her!"

I didn't answer. I put both hands on Helena's chest and pushed everything I had into her.

Everything.

Every bit of healing Moonstone had beaten into me. Every bit of strength Nyx had. It poured out of my hands like fire, and I felt it rip something inside me as it went. My nose started bleeding. Then my ears.

'Stop,' Nyx cried. 'Daisy, stop, you'll kill us!'

'Not yet,' I told her. 'Not until she breathes.'

Somebody was shouting behind me. Deep and furious. Lucien.

"Pull her off! She's killing herself!"

"Don't touch her!" Damien said. "Look! Look at Helena!"

Helena sucked in a huge, rattling breath. Then another. The blue faded from her lips.

She opened her eyes and looked straight at me.

"Daisy," she whispered.

Every single person in that room went still.

"She's confused," Seraphina said quickly, wiping her face.

"She's been calling everyone Daisy for months. The nurses, the maids, me. It doesn't mean anything."

Nobody answered her. I didn't dare turn around. I could feel Lucien's eyes burning into my back. The room spun. My arms gave out.

The last thing I felt was a pair of strong arms catching me before I hit the floor. The last thing I heard was his heart pounding against my ear.

When I opened my eyes again, the room was dark. It wasn't my room. The bed was huge. The sheets smelled like pine and whiskey. His bed.

Lucien was sitting in a chair beside me, elbows on his knees, watching me in the dark. He looked like he hadn't moved in hours.

I tried to sit up. Pain stabbed through my head, and I fell back against the pillows. That was when I realized I wasn't wearing my clothes anymore. I was wearing a huge black Tshirt that came down to my thighs. His shirt.

"Who changed me?" I said, my voice coming out in a croak.

"I did."

"You had no right..."

"You were covered in blood," he said flatly.

"Your nose. Your ears. You nearly burned yourself out saving my mother. Nobody else was putting their hands on you." His jaw flexed.

"Nobody." I hated how that made my stomach flip. I hated it so much.

"Your Luna won't like that," I said.

"My Luna," he said, "can mind her own fucking business."

In his hand was a small white pill bottle. My pill bottle.

He turned it slowly between his fingers so I could read the label.

"Moonstone scent blockers," he said.

"Military grade. They only give these to spies." He leaned forward, and his eyes burned gold in the dark.

"So tell me, Rose Hart," he said softly.

"Who the hell are you hiding from?"