Chapter one

“I can't believe it, Angelina. Tomorrow. My first real job." I spun around in our tiny apartment, phone pressed to my ear, grinning like a child. "A nine-to-five. A real office. Me. I wish you were here to celebrate."

Angelina laughed on the other end. She was on a work trip.  "Slow down, Claire. You'll trip over something. I will be back tomorrow before you get back from work." 

This moment was priceless for me. I wished someone would cut me open right now to see the butterflies dancing in my stomach. "I don't care if I trip. I'd trip in a suit, in my own office, with my own name on the door." 

I dropped onto my bed and stared at the ceiling, swinging my legs. "Head of Consultation. At Northgate Logistics. The biggest logistics company in New York, Angie. Do you know how big that is?"

"I know. You've told me nine times today. Ten now." 

I hugged my pillow.  It's all because of Mr. Ranord. He didn't have to recommend me. He was my lecturer, but he treated me like family. He put his name on the line for me."Mr Ranord had always believed in me. I didn’t expect such a big opportunity.”

"He believes in you. We all do." Angelina paused. I heard a small change in her voice, soft and careful. "Claire. Can I ask you something?"

"Of course." 

"It's Peter's father's company, isn't it? Northgate." Another pause. "Do you think you'll see him again?"  The pillow slipped from my arms. For a second I couldn't speak. The name landed in my chest like a cold stone. Peter. I hadn't said that name out loud in three years. I hadn't let myself. I sat up slowly, my heart suddenly loud in my ears.

"I don't know," I whispered. "I don't even know if he's still in the UK or if he is back. I sent him messages, so many messages for months. He never replied. Not once."

"Claire…"

"It's fine," I said it too fast. It's a huge company, hundreds of people. I probably won't even go near the top floor. I'm just there to work. I told myself, forcing a laugh, but it came out thin. "It's fine."

Angelina didn't push. She knew me. "Okay. Then kill it tomorrow. You earned this." We said goodnight. But long after the call ended, I lay in the dark, staring at nothing, that one name circling in my head like a ghost.

***

Morning saved me. I woke up before my alarm; the fear from last night washed clean by sunlight,  stupid excitement. I ironed my blouse twice. I changed my shoes three times. I stood in front of the mirror and whispered, "You are the head of consultation at Northgate Logistics," until it started to feel real.

***

The building swallowed me the moment I arrived. Glass and steel, reaching into the sky. People moved fast, badges swinging, coffee in hand. I tilted my head back and just breathed it in. This was it. This was the dream. "Miss Miller?"

A young woman hurried toward me with a warm smile and a tablet pressed to her chest. "I'm Mary. I'll be your assistant. Welcome to Northgate." She led me through the glass doors, past rows of desks, into an elevator that climbed and climbed. "Everyone's so excited to meet you. Mr. Ranord spoke very highly of you before he retired." 

He didn’t tell me how beautiful this place looks from the inside. "That means a lot. Mr. Ranord taught me everything I know, so I'll do my best to make him proud." I replied. My office had my name on the door. My name. I ran my fingers over the letters and felt my eyes sting. I did it, Mr. Ranord. I actually did it.

Mary showed me my desk, my computer, the view of the whole city behind the glass. I sat in my chair and spun it once, slowly, like a kid. I could do this. I belonged here. I was barely two minutes into reading my first file when my desk phone rang.

"Miss Miller?" A crisp voice. "This is the CEO's assistant. He'd like to see you in his office. Immediately, please."

 I straightened up fast. "Oh. Yes. Of course. Right away." I hung up and pressed a hand to my stomach. The CEO, on my first morning already. My mind ran wild please be kind. Don't be one of those cold, arrogant bosses you see in movies, the ones who make you cry in the bathroom by lunch. Please just be normal. Just be nice.

"Mary?" I leaned out of my office. "Which way is the CEO's office?" She pointed down the long hall. "End of the corridor. The big doors. You can't miss it." I smoothed my blouse,  breathed in, out, and walked.

Each step echoed. The corridor felt longer than it should. The big doors waited at the end, dark wood, shining. I stopped in front of them and pressed my damp palms against my skirt. First impressions matter, Claire. Head up. Smile. You earned this.

I knocked once. No answer. I pushed the doors open and walked in, smile ready, words ready on my lips. "Good morning, I'm Claire Mill…"

The words died in my throat.

He was sitting behind the desk. Still. Watching me. The morning light cut across his face, sharper and colder than I remembered, but it was him; it was really him. The same eyes, the same mouth that used to laugh at my terrible jokes. Peter Stargard.