Kabanata 6

I am not religious in any way. Ayos na kung makapagsimba ako ng isa o dalawang beses sa isang taon. Hindi ako mabuting tao at madalas nagkakasala pero marunong akong humingi ng tawad at magsisi sa mga ginawa ko.

Sa murang edad, maaga akong namulat sa reyalidad ng buhay. Hindi naging maganda ang takbo ng lahat. Maaga akong naulila. Lumaki ako sa hirap, swerte na kung kumain kami ng tatlong beses sa isang araw. 

Many people have asked, "If there is a God, why does He permit suffering?" It may sound crazy, but I believe that suffering serves a purpose.

Our trials and tribulations have allowed us to mature spiritually. I believe that we make plans for our lives before we are born. We choose our parents, the lessons we want to learn, and the people we will meet with to help us learn those lessons.

We forget all of that information when we are born in order to avoid sensory overload. The goal of our existence on Earth is to remember why we came here in the first place. 

We are dormant when we are born. We just keep waking up over and over again throughout our lives. We are not designed to live lives full of parties and vacations. That is why Heaven exists. We come here to work hard and solve problems. 

Comfortable and privileged situations are not conducive to soul development.

"W-wala ka nang m-makukuha sa a-akin!" natataranta kong sabi dahil sa sobrang lapit niya sa akin. 

Wala naman na talaga! Nag-aaksaya lang siya ng oras sa akin. Iyong perang binigay niya ay naibayad ko na sa mga sumisingil sa utang ni Ate. Kulang pa nga iyon sana lang ay hindi na ulit magkrus ang mga landas namin dahil wala akong maibabayad sa kanila. 

"You're stuttering..." he said smirking. "You know, we discussed in psychology class that one of the signs that someone is lying is when they speak in sentence fragments... like you are doing right now."

Habang nagsasalita ito, hindi ko mapigilan ang sarili kong tignan ang kabuoan ng kaniyang mukha. Sigurado na ba talaga itong magpapari ito? Sayang kasi ang lahi, eh. 

He has fair skin, which contrasts sharply with my morena skin tone. His chinito eyes stood out against his pointed nose and cheekbones. He also has pinkish lips that appear to be very soft and enticing to kiss.

Ang gwapo! Kung ikukumpara ito sa mga naging ex ko, walang-walang panama ang mga iyon sa lalaking ito!

"Parurusahan mo na ba ako, Father?" tanong ko rito.  Gusto ko tuloy matawa bigla. 

Kinagat ko ang pang-ibabang labi ko nang makita ang biglang pag-igting ng kaniyang panga. Bigla akong kinilig. Napalitan ng kilig ang gutom. 

"Does your conscience keep you awake at night because you scammed on me?" He asked, and I didn't understand much because my attention was drawn to the movement of his Adam's apple.

My gaze went lower and lower over his shoulder which was covered by a formal polo shirt up to his stomach not being able to see if there were any hiding abs.

Napangisi ako nang tumigil ng ilang segundo ang aking mata sa kaniyang umbok. 

Maganda ang katawan nito. Ilang taon na kaya ito? Sayang na sayang ang lahi. Hindi man lang mapapalaganap? Sigurado na ba talaga siya sa kaniyang gusto sa buhay? Wala na bang makakapigil? 

Baka pwede pang pigilan! Baka pwede pang maharot!

Napailing-iling ako nang mapansin niya ang pagtitig ko sa kaniya. Umangat ang labi niya at mas lalo pang lumapit sa akin. Nasa may tenga ko na ang kaniyang mukha. Gusto kong pigilan ang sarili ko sa kung anong planong biglang sumagi sa isip ko.

"You're in your school right now, you know I can report you to your principal. You don't want that to happen right?" He said it in a hoarse voice that made me think of lude things right now.

Tigang na tigang ka ba, Amari? Ngayon pa talaga! Hindi maganda ang sitwasyon namin ngayon. Sinisingil niya ako ng utang ko pero nagawa ko pa na humarot at mag-isip ng mga makamundong pagnanasa! Maling-mali, Amari!

"So please give my money back if you don't want trouble," he said, making my hair stand on end. The warmth of his breath reawakened my desire for him.

Ganito na ba ako ka-hayok sa lalaki? Ganito na ba talaga ako ka-tigang?

"Babayaran kita... Sa ibang bagay nga lang." Saad ko hanggang sa bigla akong bumaling sa kaniya na siya naman niyang ikinagulat at saka inatake ng halik ang kaniyang labi. 

Nakita ko pa kung paano nanlaki ang mga mata niya ngunit mas lalo ko lang inilapit at idiniin ang sarili ko sa kaniya. Ewan ko ba, nalalasing ako sa mga titig at boses niya. 

Pilit niya pa sana akong tinutulak pero nahanap ng aking mga kamay ang landas sa kaniyang batok at mas lalo lang idiniin ang sarili sa kaniya hanggang sa unti-unti hinayaan na lang niya akong trabahuhin ang malambot at masarap niyang labi. 

"Masasarapan ka..." saad ko pa bago inatake muli ang kaniyang labi. 

I'd kissed a lot of boys in the past. My boyfriends are frequently bad boys. When we kiss, they smell like cigarettes. Now, this is revolutionary and one-of-a-kind.

I am the one who initiated and manipulated kissing him. Kumbaga sa kotse, ako ang nagmamaneho. Ako ang nangunguna. This is my kind of fetish. It really turns me on.

Did he cast a curse on me? Why am I suddenly attracted to him? Fuck that hair that was neatly combed to the side. He's so clean and looks so damn good. I'm drawn to his menthol and mint-scented breath. 

I'm not sure what it is about this man that captivates me; he is forbidden in everyone's eyes because he is destined to become a priest, but I enjoy kissing him. Damn him really!

"O-oh..." He moaned again which was the reason of my increasing sensuality. With my right, I brushed his hair back to his ear. I leaned in closer to his lips. His lips are pinkish and soft. I placed my lips on his until he opened his mouth slightly, at which point my lips slid into his mouth. 

I began sucking his lower lip. Nang lingunin ko ang kaniyang mukha ay nakita ko kung gaano siya kalasing sa aking halik. Iba talaga ang epekto ko sa mga lalaki, hindi ko inaakala na pati sa kaniya ay tatalab ang karisma ko. 

"O-oh..." I heard him moaned again. Hirap na hirap at hindi mo maintindihan kung papunta sa kung saan ipoposisyon ang kaniyang ulo.  

I felt he is suddenly aroused and he started sucking my mouth too. I smirked a little. He is learning so fast. Halatang baguhan pa siya kanina. We were so much involved in kissing our salvia was coming out of mouth.

I no longer feel rejected by him. I lost track of where we were and whether we could be discovered of what we are doing. That seemed to add to the thrills, the more it was forbidden, the more I feel so turn on!

"J-jesus... W-what are you d-doing?" He said this while panting and clearly having difficulty in our situation right now.

Nang magsawa sa kaniyang labi I started tickling his left ear lob with my lips. He started breathing heavily again. My right hand was tightly wrapped on his navel to make sure he does not get out of my grip.

Akmang hahalikan ko na ang kaniyang leeg nang malakas niya akong tinulak. Napasigaw ako sa sobrang pagkataranta. Nakita ko pa kung paano siya naghabol ng kaniyang hininga at halatang gulat na gulat pa rin sa mga nangyayari. 

"Wait, w-what did you do?! Why did you k-kiss me?!" napahilamos ito ng kaniyang mukha.

Napasigaw ako sa sakit. Tumama ang likod ko  sa aparador na puno ng mga kawali at kaldero. Dahil sa pagtama ko sa aparador ay gumalaw ang mga nasa loob nito. Narinig ko pa siyang napasigaw at akmang lalapitan ako para tulungan nang may tumamang kung anong mabigat na bagay sa aking ulo.

Napaigik ako lalo sa sakit. Nakita ko pa ang tuluyan niyang paglapit at pagluhod sa aking harap bago ako tuluyang mawalan nang malay.