I close my eyes against the change, close my eyes against the light, against the light of the moon, the light that is more than I am, more than I can be, more than I can hold. I close my eyes and breathe, breathe like I am human, like I am, like I am still Mara, like I am still, like I am. My brea
I move through the trees with the breathless speed of my fear, with the sharpness of my intentions, with the urgency of my need. The scent of pine is thick and raw, and it claws at me with every quick step. My body presses against the confines of my human shape, desperate for the release that is as
My footsteps are too loud. My thoughts are too loud. The edge of the forest is more than I think, more than I believe, more than I can take, more than I am ready to be. The edge is. I am not. I am not more. I try to hold. I try to hold. I change my clothes, and the certainty of the change is
I leave it. I leave it. The forest is empty and endless. It waits for me. I pretend it’s not too late, pretend I can still change my mind. The stillness surrounds me, fills the car with its presence, fills the air with the pull, with the pull of what I know I have to do. The trailhead is unmark
The car is as lonely as my thoughts, a dark streak through the edge of the city, through the raw edge of my fear. The road is more empty than I expect, more empty than I am, more empty than I think. I drive. I drive and lose myself in the motion, in the distance, in the blur of it all. The bag is at
The old words bleed into each other. They bleed. They bleed. The hours before the change are unsteady. They are an unsteady reminder, an unsteady force, an unsteady push against my life, against my control, against what I can handle. They are an unsteady pull, a pull that I pretend not to feel, a