not an end yet

I Made A Deal with The Devil

.

Chapter 50: not an end yet

.

Nikolai looks away pulse racing at the words that itch against his skin and weigh heavy in his chest, against his skin Akio’s hand feels warm and safe and perfect... and so scary.

Too good for him.

"I wish that was true," he says, seeing how Akio’s gaze drops.

He feels the words on his tongue to break his heart and he knows they are true.

"I chose this life," he knows it.

"Not only did I choose it. I've worked for it. I excelled at it. I'm powerful," the words burn and Akio’s hand drops from his face, lost in the space between them – worlds apart.

"I'm powerful" he says it out loud forcing himself to believe it.

The little boy who grew up on the streets with nothing needed to believe it.

Akio looks at him carefully. "Yes you are," he admits softly. "And yet you're lost" he says.

"Don't look at me with your fucking pity," Nikolai spits out, building his defences behind anger and pain, too scared to be vulnerable, knowing Ak