Chapter 2

SA DAKO NAMAN NI XENA...

[XENA'S POV]

"Young lady, here's the dress you'll be wearing later." Saad ng isa sa mga servant ng palasyo.

I sigh. Today is my wedding day. I will be the future Queen and the mother of the whole Kingdom, Oldenburg.

After this, I will be the official Crown Princess of this nation. The King will pass the throne to Casper Althan, the Crown Prince and my fiancé as soon as we settled down our marriage. So maybe, next week?

But why do I feel so... Lonely? I should be happy. I should wear such a sweet and bright smile in my face right now. But why...

Maybe because the fact that the Crown Prince will never see me as a woman scares me. I will be marrying a guy who don't have any plans of loving me back. And... I want to escape.

FLASHBACK

"Don't touch me, you murderer!" Sigaw sa akin ni Casper ng akmang hahaplusin ko ang pisngi niyang may pasa.

Kakagaling niya lang sa taekwondo training niya, at may kaunting galos siya sa mukha.

"I-I'm sorry Your Highness, but your face.. let me apply some ointment on it first." Saad ko at tatalikod na sana para kumuha ng first aid kit pero bigla niya akong hinila palapit sa kanya habang mahigpit niyang hawak ang braso ko.

"Y-Your Highness, i-it hurts." Saad ko habang tinitignan ang kamay niyang mahigpit na nakadiin ang hawak sa braso ko.

Medyo natawa siya sa sinabi ko. Lumapit siya sa tenga ko at bumulong,

"It hurts? Then kulang pa yan sa lahat ng sakit na dinulot ng pamilya mo sa akin." Madiin niyang tugon at tinulak ako palayo sa kanya na dahilan para mapa-bagsak ako sa may bench.

Tumalikod na siya at nag lakad palayo habang ako naman ay nakatingin sa likod niyang unti unting lumalayo habang may mga luhang pumapatak sa mga mata.

*

NEXT DAY

Kasalukuyan akong nasa hallway ng palasyo nakadungaw kay Casper na nag tra-training ng swordmanship sa field ng palasyo.

Ilang linggo na rin akong nandito sa palasyo, nag aaral at kinakabisado ang mga pamamalakad ng pagiging Reyna. Hindi naman ganoon kahirap, pero... patagal ng patagal kinakain ako ng lungkot dahil palagi nalang akong mag isa at walang kausap.

"Boo!"

Gulat akong napatingin sa may biglang gumulat sa akin sa likod.

"Your Highness." Panimula ko at nginitian siya.

"Oh come on Xena, you can call me Rei." Panimula din niya at binigyan ako ng isang matamis na ngiti.

"How's your day, Xena? Is everything alright?" Tanong ni Prince Rei sa akin.

"Yes, o-ofcourse, Your Highness- I mean Rei." Sagot ko.

Rei is Casper's cousin. He is the son of King Leonard's sister, Princess Natalia who married a noble man living outside the palace. King Leonard considered his nephew Rei a prince and he is free to come in and out of the palace.

Why he's here? It's been a tradition that every member of the royal family will spend their day in the palace every Sunday. And today is Sunday, that is why Prince Rei is here to hang out with the Crown Prince, Casper.

"Rei!" Sigaw ni Casper mula sa field kaya agad akong napalingon sa kanya.

He wave his hands to Rei and he didn't even bother to look at me.

"Come on Xena, let's head down in the field." Aya ni Rei sa akin.

"Really? Can I watch closely to Prince Casper's training?" Tanong ko.

"Sure, why not? Let's go." Saad nito. Naka ngiti ko naman siyang sinundan.

I badly want to hang out with Casper. I hope he won't mind.

"Hey dude." Panimula ni Rei kay Casper at inakbayan siya.

He slightly smiled pero nawala agad iyon ng makita niya akong nakasunod pala kay Rei.

"Why are you here?" Kunot noo niyang tanong.

"Oh, I invited her to watch us play. Actually, we can teach her. Do you want to learn swordmanship Xena?" Tanong sa akin ni Rei.

"Hell no. Go back, Xena. Wag ka ngang pakalat kalat." Cold na saad ni Casper sa akin.

"Dude.." saway ni Rei sa kanya.

"Just go and do what you arw supposed to be doing right now." Saad muli ni Casper without looking at me.

"I'm free, Your Highness. Mamaya pa ulit ang schedule ng-" Pag papaliwanag ko pa sana pero pinutol niya ang sasabihin ko.

"I don't care. Just stay away from my sight, will you?" Cold ulit niyang saad at kinuha niya na ulit ang sword niya kaya napaatras naman ako.

I just want to hang out with you Casper... I sigh.

I look at Rei and smiled.

"I'll go ahead." Nakangiti kong paalam.

He simply nodded at umalis na ako kasama ang isang alalay na laging nakasunod sa akin. Gusto ko sanang makipag-kaibigan dito sa alalay ko pero kapag nag sasalita ako ang tipid niyang sumagot at parang umiiwas na makipag-usap sa akin. After all, hindi naman din siya permanent na alalay ko dahil kapag nakoronahan na ako, puro bodyguards na din ang papalibot saan man ako mag punta.

Tumungo nalang muna ako sa kwarto ko at napag desisyonan na mag basa ng mga lesson namin para bukas sa school. Yes you heard it right, I am still studying in college in the biggest university here in Kingdom Oldenburg, the Althan University. Obviously it is the university owned by the royal family and only wealthy people here in Oldenburg got a chance to enter the school.

Haysss. I stared at the bouquet of flower Prince Casper gave to me the first day I came here in the Palace. Isang linggo na rin pala ang lumipas, at patay na ang mga bulaklak na nilagay ko sa isang vase na may tubig.

Nilapitan ko ito, tinanggal sa vase at tinapon sa basurahan. Yung bulaklak... parang namatay kasama ang kaligayahan ko.

Biglang tumulo ang mga luha ko at napa upo ako sa sahig. I miss my parents... I want to go home.

~

Naalimpungatan ako sa ingay na narinig ko mula sa pintuan ko. Nakatulog pala ako sa kakaiyak ko kanina. Shet.

"Xena! Xena! Open the damn door, Xena Holstein!"

Wait. Is that Casper?

Agad kong inayos ang sarili at binuksan ang pinto ng silid.

"Your Highness what brought you here?-" Panimula ko.

"For heaven's sake why did you ditch your class Xena!?" Sigaw niya sa akin at agad siyang pumasok sa loob ng silid ko at malakas na isinara ang pinto.

Oh shoot. I forgot about my class about Althan's history with the Prince. It is supposed to be this 4:00 PM in the afternoon. At 6:00 PM na ngayon.

"I'm sorry Your Highness, napa-idlip ako. Hindi ko namalayan ang oras." Pag hingi ko ng paumanhin.

"You.. you're useless! How could Dad chosen someone like you to be the Queen in this nation? You don't deserve to be my Queen!" Sigaw niya ulit sa akin.

Napayuko ako.

"Babawi ako. Besides, I already memorized Althan's history, Your Highness. I can even recite it infront of you now-" Paliwanag ko.

"Can you just.. give up? Just give up the throne, Xena." Biglang tugon ng prinsipe sa akin na ikinatigil ko.

"Your Highness..." hindi ko alam ang sasabihin ko.

"You... I can't stand looking at your face. I don't want to marry you, Xena." Tugon muli ni Prince Casper na siyang ikinapang-hina ng tuhod ko. Parang sinaksak ng paulit ulit ang puso ko ng marinig ko ang mga salitang iyon galing mismo sa bibig ng lalaking mahal ko.

"Just get out before everything gets complicated. I really don't want to hurt you." Seryoso nitong saad.

Bigla kong naalala ang mga katagang sinabi sa akin ni Papa.

'Xena, anak. You have to be the Queen. It's the only way for us to live. We will all die if you refuse to marry the Crown Prince. You told me that you like the Crown Prince the first day you met him right? Then this is the right time, I will make you the new Queen of Oldenburg. It's the only way to make you safe no matter what happen.'

Iniyukom ko ang mga kamao ko at pinigilan ang sariling mapaiyak sa harapan niya. I know I'm weak, but I'll try my best to survive.

Ayaw kong may mangyari masama sa mga magulang ko at isa pa, nasasaktan man ako ngayon, hindi maitatangging mahal ko si Casper at gagawin niya ang makakaya niya para mahalin siya nang kabiyak, hindi niya bibitawan ang pagkakataong mapa-sakanya ang lalaking mahal niya.

"Forgive me, Your Highness but I can't. I'm going to marry you and I will be your Queen." matapang na saad ni Xena habang tinitigan sa mata si Casper.

"Then you leave me no choice but to give you hell, My Queen." Saad nito at pekeng ngumiti.

"Eat your dinner alone. Don't expect me to join you." Cold na muling saad nito at akmang aalis na pero pinigilan ko siya.

"Why can't you just love me?" nanginginig na tanong ko.

"I love you ever since I was young, Your Highness. I dreamed everyday for this moment to happen. I promise I will be a good wife. I will protect and take care of you. C-Can't you just accept me?"Dagdag ko pa at mahigpit na hinawakan ang kamay niya.

"I will never love you." Cold nitong sagot habang nakatalikod sa akin.

"Why do you hate me so much? I didn't even do anything to you! Is it because of my father? I'm not him, Casper!" Lakas loob kong sumbat sa kanya.

Natigilan siya at dahan dahan akong hinarap.

"Your father? Of course, he killed my girlfriend! He killed my future Queen! And you? You are his daughter. Don't tell me you expected me to like the daughter of the person who killed the one I love?! Are you that dumb?!" Hiyaw niya pabalik sa akin.

"I'm sorry. Kung ano man ang nagawa ng papa ko... pag babayaran ko. Forgive him. I will always be here for you. Your Highness... I will pay every pain he caused you. Please. Just please accept me." Pag mamakaawa ko.

Natawa naman siya ng mahina.

"As if I have a choice." Sagot niya at marahang kinalas ang pag kakahawak ko sa kanya.

"Magiging asawa man kita't lahat lahat, pero sisiguraduhin kong hindi ka magiging masaya, Xena. And yes, you will pay for what your father did to my woman." Mariin niyang tugon at tuluyan ng umalis sa kwarto ko. Leaving me dumbfounded.

END OF FLASHBACK

/Present

Napatitig ako sa sarili sa salamin kung saan suot suot ko na ang isang magarang royal wedding dress.

Nag lakad na ako palabas at nakita ko ang mama kong nakaabang sa akin. Natigilan ako, it's been a week since I last saw her.

"Ma!" Panimula ko at patakbong sinalubong siya ng yakap.

"Xena, baby. You look so gorgeous." Compliment ni Mama.

"I miss you, ma. W-Where's papa?" Tanong ko

"H-He can't come, sweetheart. I'm sorry." Medyo naiiyak pero nakangiting saad nito.

I know. I know he can't. Bakit nga ba kailangang gawin ni Papa ang ganung bagay? He's a nice guy. My father is not a bad guy. He... He's been a good father. So why? Why did you do something horrible like that, Pa?

~

Ilang oras ang lumipas, nandito na ako ngayon sa wedding ceremony kung saan nag lalakad na ako papalapit sa mapapangasawa ko. Ang mahal na prinsipe.

"Do you Xena Holstein, take the young Prince Casper Althan to be your lawfully wedded husband...." tanong ng priest.

"I-I do." Sagot ko.

"Do you Prince Casper Althan, take Xena Holstein to be your lawfully wedded wife...."

"I do." Walang ka-emosyong sagot ni Casper.

Napapikit ako ng mariin sabay ng pagpatak ng luha ko. On my wedding day, I cried so hard, and my heart is full of so much pain.

Can I survive in this set up? How long does it take for Casper to accept my love for him?

~

"You sleep in the couch." Utos ni Casper sa akin ng akmang hihiga ako sa kama kung saan naka upo siya habang nag babasa ng libro.

Nasa bedroom namin kaming dalawa ngayon. At dahil mag asawa na kami, nasa iisang malaking kwarto na lang kami.

"M-Malaki naman ang kama. I won't disturb you in your sleep, Your Highness." Saad ko.

He smirk, "Do you want to sleep with me?" Tanong niya.

"O-Of course it's my duty to satisfy your--" Sagot ko sana pero pinutol niya

"Oh shut up, Xena. Let me clear to you this, I'd rather find a concubine and impregnate them than make you the mother of my children." May diing pagkasabi ni Casper na ikinagulat ko.

Kumirot ang puso ko ng marinig ang mga salitang binitawan niya. Is that mean... He won't give me an heir? He wants a son from someone who isn't in a royal family!?

" Casper... You're being too much. It's my duty to produce an heir!" Sagot ko sa kanya

"Well sorry you can't do anything kapag ako ang umayaw sayo. Kaya doon ka sa couch, ayaw kitang katabi." cold na sagot ni Casper.

Yumuko na lamang ako at nag lakad patungo sa couch at nag dala ng unan. Dahan dahang tumulo muli ang mga luha sa mata ko. Why am I this miserable? I hate it.

*