Chapter 2: Once Bitten, Twice Shy 2.

Elizabeth’s POV

-

That wasn’t aunt’s voice, it was her husband’s and he sounded so repulsed as he says it. I clench my fist and amble closer to the door that’s slightly been left ajar and hear her voice up next. “She has no place else to go if we suddenly kick her out. She could still stay with us until she finds something to do-”

“Don’t try to get all sentimental on me, Sue. It was your idea to send her off to the orphanage in the first place and you never dropped by to check up on her even once! And now what, your conscience’s suddenly biting back at you after seeing her again?”

It shouldn’t surprise me to hear them saying these hurtful things, not at all. Behind those sympathetic expressions and words of compassion, I could see it clearly, no matter the layers they hid beneath...everyone deeply pitied me. I was the unlucky child, stigmatized with that misfortune. Attention drew to me like bugs to light, people wanted to use me to express their selfish goodwill so they could justify their farce of concern to pay their condolences to an orphaned little girl.

When the audience and public display of support left the screens, not a single soul remained to ask me what I wanted, to embrace me and take me someplace warm to recuperate my broken little heart.

Not the uncle and aunt that would often visit my home and spend time with us, nor the neighbors I often went over to play...all the doors were shut to my face and before I knew it, my story became another tragic incident that uplifted from the minds of people as the days rolled by.

And my back was propelled to the doorstep of an orphanage home by the relatives I thought I could depend on for protection and support. I was something no one wanted anymore and children fitting into that category were kept in such places; as I had held the belief to heart back then.

When those gates were shut and I watched my uncle and aunt drive away, I had cast my heart stone, I would never trust the words of adults anymore. But regardless of knowing this, a section within my heart aches when they put it as they’ve always despised my existence all along. Was I never even considered family in any way at all?

I pin my gaze on my toes that are barely an inch from the threshold, expecting aunt to say something in her defense as sudden silence dawn in there. ‘At least, try to deny and tell him he’s wrong, aunt Sue. Waiting patiently, clutching my shirt until I hear footsteps and her voice cracks up with a sharp retort.

“Don’t try to blame me for it, you never wanted her here and forced me to do something about it! I do so much to please you and you end up turning it all against me-

“Aunt Sue.” Unable to bear their childish squabbles, I come in the doorway and he sees me first, his face showing his shock before he instantly tusks to the side and turns his back while aunt turns around, her face pale.

“Uh...Elizabeth, d-do you need s-something?” She asks nervously, unable to calm her nerves as she fumbles with her fingers, forcing a smile.

“Yeah...did you keep our stuff? I would like to go through them and recover some things. And...” I look between them, he’s already going to the bed as my aunt remains standing in her anxiety.

“...you don’t have to worry yourselves about me, I won’t be staying here anyway”.

‘Tell them what they want to hear and see the pathetic faces they pull afterward’. Aunt stares at me, the guilt and remorse swirling in her dark orbs as she closes the distance between us. Rubbing my arm gently, she wears a remorseful expression, “Beth...”

“It’s okay, you don’t have to force it. So um, can you tell me where you kept them?” I hate the look on her face so I quickly get to the pressing matter at hand and she nods languidly, “Oh, yes, we moved them to the basement”.

Without further ado, I thank her curtly and zip out of their bedroom. I know where the basement is, that was where I and my dad often hung out so we wouldn’t disturb mom in the kitchen. Upon entering and pulling onto the thin rope suspended in the air, I’m gobsmacked by a tremendous wave that rattles me from the top of my head to my toes.

The memories are fresh and raw and it makes my eyes begin to sting. As I gently plod down the dusty wooden steps, it creaks under my weight, making weird protesting noises until I arrive at the foot, eyes scouring around the dusty and dim space stocked with all that’s left of my sweet little family.

I move to the old dresser that used to be in my parent’s bedroom and smile softly to see the picture frames, reaching a hand to grab the one with all three of us. Rubbing the thick layer of dust with the sleeve of the sweater and pulling my hand away, I see three familiar bright faces beaming back at me and brief laughter gushes out of me.

“Mom...dad...I’ve come back, I’ve come home.” My face continues to stretch into a smile as my eyes go glassy and tears trickle down my face. My chest feels stuffy and I feel I’m developing a migraine as I press the picture frame to my chest tightly and buck over.

Recalling my mom’s words, no matter what’s thrown my way, I have to retain my smile and not allow my happiness to be threatened. I always have to remain strong because I’m the only one who can protect the things important to me.

With those words shining like a resolution inside me, I sniffle, straighten and wipe my tears away. I know they’re both with me at all times, I’m never alone so I won’t complain and whine about anything. Resolving in my heart to lead my life in the way I’ve been taught and raised, I restore my mind to a calmness that absolves me from self-pity.

I search through our old things, finding a really old duffel bag that belonged to dad, my Disney backpack, and packing a few other things. Dad’s silver wristwatch, mom’s scarf, and rummaging through my dresser for any treasures. I spend my time busy going through everything down here and uplifting old memories until I fall asleep while reading a picture storybook I got on my third birthday.

~

I wake up at the break of the day as per habit I developed during my time at the orphanage, and trudge out of the basement after one last longing glance to bid my last goodbye as I ascend towards a new path I shall carve for myself.

Aunt Sue is already up and putting breakfast together when I show up. No one else seems to be awake as of yet so I quickly go up to freshen up.

Pleased with how prepared I am, I zip the bag and carry it from the bed. I bet Emma won’t want to collect the clothes she lent me so, I decided to take them with me as I dress up in my mom’s cream cashmere short dress that latches to every curve of my body like a swimsuit. It does smell of old age and dust, but it brings such priceless comfort to my soul as I smile, pulling into her old brown leather knee-length heeled boots.

Strange how it fits me so well, hmm…staring at my reflection in the mirror above the dresser, I chuckle, “I pretty much look like my mom now”. Palming my cheeks, turning left and right, and smiling greedily, I laugh, “I’ve grown up so much”. No longer daddy’s little girl, hehe.

Humming to myself, I pull my unruly black hair back in a rubber band I snatch from between my teeth. Picking up dad’s wristwatch, I wonder if I can get it working again and it fits so loosely around my thin wrist. Pouting to that, I fasten mom’s brown scarf around my neck as I pull into dad’s grey duffel coat. I care less about how weird I look in this clothing as I grab the bag and step out of the room, running into a yawning Emma.

She looks at me with wide blinking eyes and asks with bewilderment, “What...are those your parents’?” She points her index at what I’m wearing and I shrug lightly, “They feel comfortable and reassuring”. Without waiting for her next comment, I’m going down the stairs and join a breakfast of bacon, eggs, and a hot coffee.

“It seems you slept well last night, Beth. Were you able to find all you wanted?” Aunt serves my meal with a smile, trying not to raise a ludicrous brow at my outfit and I nod, “Yes, thanks for not throwing them out yet”. She only replies with a smile as her husband and Emma start coming to take their seats. We share curt greetings and eat our breakfast quietly.

After that, I’m set to leave when aunt suddenly holds my arm back, “Beth, you don’t have to take what we said last night to heart. I know it’s not going to be easy for you to settle back into a lifestyle that was snatched away from you so suddenly, but-

They need to stop pitying me like some vulnerable animal. I sigh and turn to her, backing the doorway. “I’m grateful you let me spend the night here but I’m afraid that’s as far as your charity goes”.

Coming out honest for a first, her face goes redly miffed at my words but I beat her to speak first, “The least you could do for your sister’s daughter right now, is not try to act like you needed to show concern for me. Be honest to yourself, aunt Sue”.

I pick up the duffel bag at my feet and turn to leave as I approach the door and twist the handle open. Out into the cold white world, with no fixed destination in mind. Impulsively, I decided to go somewhere far away from all this. Probably the outskirts of Ewon and start my life afresh so when I meet Angie and Zara someday, I can embrace them with a genuine smile.

So I find myself at the bus terminal, ready to execute my half-baked impromptu decision. I’ve been lucky to have found my Smurf stuffed toy I had transformed into a small money safe where I had hidden quite the dollar notes and coins. I had been saving to buy mom a gift on her birthday from the volunteer work I helped dad with.

Sigh, “Too bad I never got a chance to do something for you, mom”. But I guess it had all been in preparation for this day, huh? What a life.

As the other passengers begin to board the coach bus and I’m moving forward as the line is shrinking, a shrieking call suddenly has me screeching to a halt with shock arresting my limbs.

“Beth!”