Chapter 4: The Man Who Made Me Smile

Three weeks. That's how long it has been since I disappeared, three weeks since I walked away from a man I swore I would never love, and three weeks of pretending I'm fine.

I hate that I still wonder whether he noticed I was gone, and that some stubborn part of me wants him to come looking, and most of all I hate myself for caring.

So I decide I need a fresh start, and I need someone new, someone who looks at me and doesn't see a ghost.

"Okay, so you're coming with me tonight, and I won't take no." Tessa plants herself in the doorway of my room with her arms crossed.

I don't look up from the job listings on my laptop. "What is it?"

"A business mixer downtown. Rich people, free food, lots of contacts who might actually hire someone." She waves the ticket at me, and when I still don't answer, she walks over and snaps my laptop shut. "You've been staring at that screen for three days. Please, Auden. Get out of this apartment before you start talking to the walls."

I rub my temple and sigh, "Last time somebody paid me to go to a rich person's house, it didn't end well."

Her face softens, and she sits on the edge of my bed and bumps my shoulder with hers. "This one is different. Nobody's paying you to be anybody. You just have to show up as yourself."

I let her drag me into a taxi. I fix my hearing aid in the window's reflection and double check my patch, and the sweet fake scent I've learned to wear like a coat.

The ballroom is bright and crowded and within five minutes my head is already buzzing from all the voices crashing together.

I find a spot near a pillar and I try to look like someone who belongs there. A man in a very shiny suit has cornered a group of guests near the bar, and his voice booms across half the room. He's talking about his boat, and his portfolio.

"Ten bucks says he names his yacht after himself." The voice comes from my left, low and amused, I turn and find a tall man leaning against the pillar next to me with a champagne flute in hand and a crooked grin on his face. "And ten more says the boat has a bigger ego than he does."

A laugh bursts out of me before I can stop it, "That's not fair. I think the boat has a smaller ego."

"Oh, you're good." His grin widens, and he turns fully toward me, "I'm Hayes. I'm also the person who just got you to laugh at that guy, so technically I'm a menace."

"Auden." I shake his hand, "And I don't think I'm the one who started it."

Someone behind him bumps his elbow and half his champagne lands directly on the sleeve of the shiny-suited man, who just happens to be walking past.

The man freezes, and the ballroom seems to hold its breath. Hayes lifts both hands in the air with the most innocent expression I've ever seen, and he doesn't even try to hide the laughter in his eyes.

"My apologies, sir! That was entirely my fault. Truly a tragedy, and such a nice jacket." He gives a deep, absurd bow, and the man sputters and storms off toward the bathroom. Hayes turns back to me with a satisfied sigh. "Worth every drop."

I'm laughing so hard that my shoulders shake. The room is getting louder, though, and when Hayes starts to say something else, the band kicks in behind him and swallows half of it. I step closer and cup my hand behind my ear, and my cheeks go warm. "Sorry, I missed that. Can you repeat it?"

He doesn't sigh, and he doesn't repeat it louder, which is what everyone always does. He just glances at the band, and then at me, and tilts his head toward the glass doors on the other side of the room. "It's far too loud in here. Come on, there's a terrace. I'll buy you a real drink and tell you the whole thing from the beginning."

On the terrace the air is cool and quiet. "So what do you do, Hayes?" I swirl the drink he handed me.

"I work at my family's company." He pulls a face and rubs the back of his neck.

He lifts his glass to me, and his crooked smile makes my chest feel strange. "What about you, Auden? What are you good at?"

I pause, because I don't know how to answer that honestly. "Surviving, mostly."

He doesn't push, and he doesn't laugh. He just looks at me with something warm and quiet in his eyes, and then he clinks his glass gently against mine. "That's a good skill to have."

After that night, Hayes starts turning up everywhere. He finds excuses to see me and he remembers every little thing I mention.

"You don't like mushrooms, right?" He holds up a takeout box one evening as I open the door, "I got you the pork instead. Don't say I never take care of you."

I stare at him, and my throat feels tight. "I told you that once. Three days ago."

"I listen sometimes." He shrugs. Tessa pokes her head out of the kitchen, and her eyes light up the second she sees the food.

I don't have to pretend to be heartbroken around him, and I don't have to compete with a lost love. The only problem is that he's an Alpha too, and he thinks I'm an Omega, and the longer this goes on, the harder that lie will get to carry.

But for now, I let myself enjoy it, because for the first time in a long time, someone wants me for myself.

A few days later, I start feeling strange. I'm tired in a way sleep doesn't fix, and my appetite swings wildly.

Then Hayes hugs me one afternoon, and his scent washes over me. My head spins, and my stomach turns, and I have to grab the doorframe to stay on my feet. He steadies me with both hands and frowns down at my face. "Auden? You're pale. Do you need to sit down?"

"I'm okay." I wave him off with a weak smile. "I think I stood up too fast."

He doesn't look convinced, but he lets it go. That night I sit on the edge of my bathtub with my heart in my throat, holding a small white box I bought from a pharmacy. My body has always been different, and I was taught as a child that it could do things most bodies couldn't, but my mother never told me everything.

I take the test, and I stare at the window for what feels like an hour, my hands shaking in my lap. Two lines appear and the whole world goes quiet.

I'm pregnant.

My first thought is Blaine, because he's the only person I have ever slept with. Hayes has never touched me that way, not once, so there's no one else the baby could belong to.

I press my palm flat against my stomach, and panic crashes through me like a wave. If Hayes finds out, he'll have questions, and if he learns I've been hiding what I really am, everything could fall apart. If he finds out the child belongs to another Alpha, he might walk away.

I've spent weeks building something new and now I'm terrified of losing it before it has even begun.

The next afternoon, Hayes shows up at my door with a bag of takeout and a grin that makes my stomach twist.

He drops onto my couch and starts unpacking containers, talking about a trip he wants to take me on,

Hayes stops mid-sentence and looks at me properly, and his smile fades. "Hey. Whatever it is, you can tell me."

I look at him, and my eyes begin to sting. I want to believe those words so badly, and I really do. But the secret feels too dangerous.