Chapter 3: Before You Break My Heart

"You've been acting too comfortable around me." Blaine's voice cuts through the study from somewhere behind me. I turn from the bookshelf with a book still in my hand and frown at him, because I know there was more before that.

"Sorry? What was the first part?" My cheeks heat, because this is the fourth time today. Blaine stands in the doorway with his arms crossed, and his face doesn't change at all, though a muscle in his jaw tightens.

"I said you've been acting too comfortable." He repeats it slowly and coldly, "You told the kitchen staff what you want for breakfast. You moved the chair in the east room. You're forgetting the rules of this arrangement."

I put the book back on the shelf harder than I mean to. "I've followed every rule you gave me. Including the one about never expecting love."

His eyes narrow, and he steps into the room with his hands sliding into his pockets. "Then why do you sound so bitter?"

"Don't flatter yourself." I laugh, "I know exactly what I am to you."

Something sharp moves behind his eyes, and he crosses the room until he's close enough that I have to tip my head back to look at him. "And what exactly do you think you are to me?"

"You're the employer, and I'm the substitute." I lift my chin so he can't see how much it hurts to say it. "Nothing more than that."

His voice drops even lower, so low that I have to watch his mouth to follow it. "Look me in the eyes and say that again."

The silence stretches and Blaine's gaze drops to my mouth for half a second, and then jerks back to my eyes. His chest rises with a slow, deliberate breath, and I realize how close we're standing.

"Are you afraid of me?" His voice is cold.

"No." I shake my head, "I'm afraid of what happens when people start believing they belong somewhere."

He goes still, and for a second his face loses its hardness. His brows pull together, and his lips part like he's about to say something real. Then I ruin it, because I always ruin it, and I blurt out the next words before I can stop myself. "And I have no intention of falling in love with you."

The softness vanishes from his face. "Who said anything about love?"

I open my mouth, and nothing comes out. He stares at me, and I stare back, and neither of us has an answer for that.

I don't know who moves first. One moment we're glaring at each other, and the next his hand is at the back of my neck and my fingers are twisted in his shirt. The kiss is rough and angry, full of every harsh word we've thrown at each other.

He pulls back just enough that his forehead rests against mine, "Walk out now." His voice is rough and his hand loosens on my neck to give me room. "Or don't."

My feet don't move, and I tighten my grip on his shirt and look up at him. "I'm staying."

He takes me by the wrist and walks me upstairs without another word, stripping my shirt off, then his own.

“Look at you,” he murmurs, cold. “Acting like you don’t want me.”

After he is done, we stay like that for several long breaths. Then he pulls out carefully. Neither of us speaks,I keep my eyes open in the dark and tell myself again that it means nothing.

When I wake up, the bed is empty, I find Blaire downstairs. He glances up at me, and his face shows nothing at all.

"Did you sleep well?" His tone is flat,l.

I almost laugh. "Fine."

He nods once and turns back to his tablet, and I sit down across from him. Then I notice something wrong, because the world sounds fuzzy, I tap my hearing aid, and the whine gets worse, and when Blaine says something I only catch his lips moving.

"What?" I lean forward. "Sorry, can you say that again?"

He repeats it, but the coffee machine is louder. I shake my head, and my face is burning. "Again, please. I can't hear you over that."

He sets his coffee down and his gaze moves from my ear to my face. "Your hearing aid isn't working properly."

"It's fine." I pull my hand away from my ear fast. "It's just the battery."

"I'll have Marcus contact someone to fix it."

"No." The word comes out too quick, and I try to cover it with a stiff shrug. "I don't need your help. I can handle it myself."

He studies me for a long second then nudges a plate across the table toward me with two fingers. "Eat."

That evening I fall asleep on the couch in my room, and I wake up with a dull headache and a feeling that I've forgotten something. My phone isn't in my pocket, and I remember leaving it on the kitchen counter after breakfast.

I pull on a sweater and walk downstairs, tapping the side of my hearing aid and wincing at the static that still crackles through it.

The door to the study is open a few inches, and I hear low voices from inside. I slow down, stepping closer, and my hearing aid whines, and I catch only broken pieces of sentences.

"...Julian..." That name hits me like a slap, and I stop with my hand halfway to the door. Blaine is talking to someone, maybe the representative, his voice rough. "...it was never..."

I lean forward and hold my breath, "I don't want him anymore. I just want my true love."

Everything inside me goes still. I hear nothing else, because the whine of my hearing aid rises, and his voice drops away again.

So that's it. He's finally tired of the copy, and the night we spent together was just a man lonely enough to settle for a face. I back away from the door one careful step at a time, and nobody notices me.

And then I understand the worst part, the part that makes my knees weak. I've started to care about him.

I pull my bag out from under the bed with shaking hands and start throwing clothes into it. I will leave before he can break my heart.

I leave behind everything that could help him find me and slip out the back door. I had already texted Tessa to meet me at the station.

I'm almost at the front gate when my phone lights up in my hand. It's a message from Blaine.

*Where are you? We need to talk.*

My hands are trembling so badly I almost drop the phone. I stare at those words until they blur, and then I press my thumb against the screen and block his number.