Lady of the dirt track

Jen 

“What do you mean you're dropping out of college?” I ask him down the phone. We are in our second year in college and he’s telling me he’s dropping out.

“As I told you Jen I’m dropping out as I’m focusing on my riding instead,” I swear the next time I see him, I will punch him in the face. And he’s doing this over the phone! What a fucking coward.

“Greg please explain to me what you are trying to say as none of this makes any sense. We were supposed to go to Boston together. Are we still doing that at least?” Feeling nervous I start to pace around my dorm room. Luckily, I’m in my dorm alone as my roommate is out at a party.

“Jen, I don’t know. I don’t know if I’m going to Boston with you or if I’m going back to Los Angeles. I do know that I am not gaining everything being here in college and I would rather ride than sit in a classroom and listen to a stupid fuck ramble on about something that means nothing to me.”

“Thant’s bullshit Greg and you know it. Has he got into your head?” If he says that bastard manager of his has got to him, I swear I will do so much legal damage when I get my law degree, he wouldn’t know what’s hit him.

“No Jen, he didn’t get to me,” Thank fuck for that I hate that bastard but at least he’s not corrupted him that much. “But his daughter did.”

“Excuse me?” I stand still from the pacing feeling my heart starting to break. I’m praying that he’s not cheated on me again, that once in high school to cause us to break up the first time was enough. If he’s done it again, that’s it no more chances. We will be done for good.

“Andrea got me thinking. She said I am a great rider, but I could be better. She thinks if I solely focus on my riding, I could travel the world and compete anywhere. That is my dream right now Jen. I thought you of all people would understand that.” Understanding someone's dream I understand wholeheartedly, but what Greg is asking of me. I’m sorry but this I don’t understand.

My roommate comes barreling through the apartment drunk off her ass from some frat party she went to. Seeing her in this state I knew what I had to do, “I’m sorry Greg but I have to go, Cora just came home drunk again I have to deal with her,” I calmly tell him trying to not make my voice sound like it’s breaking just like I can feel my heart is right now.

“Fine, Jen go, go deal with a bitch who can’t control her drinking I bet she’s fucking high too,” Greg shouts at me down the phone.

“Don’t talk about her like that Greg, she ...” The phone goes dead. I checked my battery and that’s fine I still have 65% of the charge left and my signal is good. Which means only one thing. That bastard hung up on me.

I leave my phone on the kitchen counter after Greg hung up on me thinking I will deal with him later I have something more important to do right now. Dealing with Cora, making sure she’s okay by making sure she has a glass of water before going to bed, and after she has had her glass that is exactly where I put her. To bed.  Before I even stepped away from her when her head hit that pillow, she was out like a light softly snoring away. Stepping out of her room I go into the kitchen to grab a bottle of water and into the bathroom to grab some Advil from the cabinet above the sink and I take them back into Cora’s room to leave them beside her bed for her to take and drink when she wakes up.

Walking back into the kitchen to grab myself a bottle of water I hear my phone ping with an incoming text. I have a feeling I know who it’s from. Opening the bottle to have a sip I walk over to my phone to read the text, and I was right with who it was from. Greg.

Greg: Jen, you haven’t chosen me first in the last few months and when I needed you to support me and choose me now, you don’t. I don’t think you understand and believe in my dream when all I have done is follow you and your dream. It's time I put myself first. You were even too fucking scared to get on a motorcross bike so how can I believe that you will support me as I go and follow my dream. I’m breaking up with you so I can go and live my dream.

He’s joking, isn’t he? This is a sick joke if he is. Reading his text over and over again not believing he’s done this. I try calling him, but he must have blocked my number as I am getting an automated message saying that the number I am trying to contact is no longer in use. I can feel my heart breaking as my hand starts to shake uncontrollably and tears well in my eyes. That asshole broke up with me by text message. I didn’t think he would ever hurt me like this again, but he’s proven me wrong.

Deciding to call it a night I switch my phone off and change into my depressing PJs. The ones my family and friends know when I wear these something is wrong, and they rarely ask what. Feeling the tears starting to free fall down my face I climb on into bed and cry into my pillow until I fall asleep. This must be one of the shitiest night's sleep ever. I must have only slept for two hours as I spent most of the night crying. Thinking to myself that I’m not gonna get much more sleep I decide to get a shower and looking at transferring to Harvard Law sooner than I anticipated. Another challenging thing I have to do is tell my friends that Greg broke up with me. But the worst part of telling my friends is that one of my friends is my twin brother. Knowing Chase, he will want to kill Greg for what he did. It’s now time I pull up my big girl pants and live the life I have dreamed of. Alone.

Just as I thought after going through the transfer process, shower and start looking for my own place in Boston, I told Chase what happened over the phone, and his response was not a pleasant one. With all the shouting of threats of wanting to kill him, he did down the phone his girlfriend Savannah took the phone off him and asked me what the hell was going on, so I had no choice but to tell her. I told her everything Greg had said to me over the phone and by text.

“I don’t blame Chase for wanting to kill him Jen I feel murderous right now. Listen I have to go and calm down your brother, take care of yourself and please don’t do anything stupid you’re not just my boyfriend’s twin sister, you’re also my best friend. Don’t take what Greg said to you to heart we know different. Chase and I love you and I’ll call you tomorrow.” Sav then ends the call and I sigh looking around my room on what needs to get done before I head to Boston.

It’s hard to believe how little Sav knows me after all these years. Even Chase doesn’t fully know me and he’s my twin brother, but Greg was right about one thing and one thing only in his breakup text. I am scared. I’m scared of getting on one of his death machines. I’m scared of getting hurt on one of them things, I’m scared of Greg getting hurt on one of them machines. I know I give off this persona that nothing scares me but if I’m being honest with myself Greg is the only one who knows of my fears, and he is the only one who can scare me.

It took five more weeks before my college transfer was accepted. By then I had found my own apartment not far from campus, I had all my stuff delivered to my new place including the new furniture my parents helped me get. Mom flew to Boston last week to get my new place set up and ready for me. I am so thankful she did this for me otherwise I would be unpacking while attending classes, it’s just too much all at once Mom said. So, she offered to fly out the week before to get everything set up for me.

Tonight is my last night with Cora, and we decided to go out to a sports bar to have a couple of farewell drinks. Arriving at the bar just gone 9 pm it is already so busy for a Friday night. We managed to get a table close to the bar and on the screens behind the bar were different sports channels, but one screen in particular caught my eye. Cora came back to our table with our beers in hand just as a pre-heat interview was shown and just my luck the interviewee is none other than Greg (the bastard who broke my heart) Davenport. Not paying much attention to what he was saying and trying to enjoy my night with Cora, she noticed my attention was elsewhere. She turned her head to see what I was looking at and she saw Greg on the TV screen, and she so rightly said pay no attention to the bastard who has only thought of himself and enjoy our last night together.

I’ve been single for five weeks and I have had guys hitting on me left, right, and center but I have always said no because it is too soon after my heart got ripped out of my chest by the one guy, I thought would never hurt me like that again. A group of guys decided to join our little party, and one guy was really pushing his luck with wanting to fuck me like I’ve never been fucked before. His words, not mine. As he draped his arm over my shoulders, I felt uncomfortable, so I shrugged his arm off me repeatedly, but he was not taking no for an answer. In the end, I gave up and just continued with my drink as I saw Greg on the TV again getting ready at the starting gate for his race.

The guy with his arm draped over me took a sip of his beer watching the screens not caring which one he was paying attention to until he said, “Come on Davenport, I’ve got fifty down for you to win the meet.”

Holy fucking shit he knows Greg. Hearing him say that I did the one thing I could do to get away from this night that is now tainted by my ex. I lean over to Cora to tell her I’m calling it a night, she stands from her chair, comes around to give me a hug, and tells me to text her when I get home and that she’s sorry that our last night is now ruined. I promised her I will, and I would wake her in the morning before I head off to Boston. Without any explanation to the guy who was trying his luck, I walked out of the bar alone, grabbed an Uber, and went home. Once back in the safety of my dorm, I get myself ready for bed. I’m freshly showered and in an old concert T-shirt and some shorts, I climb on into bed and text Cora that I’m home and in bed. Before putting my phone down to get a good night's sleep I did the one thing I promised myself I would never do again. I texted Greg knowing that he’s blocked my number but as a just in case I sent him the final text I will ever send him before I block his number.

Jen: Good luck in your race tonight, Greg. I know with all your strength and trust in your bike I know you’ll win.

I hit send, block his number, put my phone on charge, and rest my head on my pillow as I drift off to sleep for the last time as a student at Yale as of tomorrow, I will be a Harvard Law student, and I will kick some ass to get where I need to reach my dream of becoming the family business lawyer and work alongside my twin brother when Dad finally retires from the business.