Chapter 1- The day she lost her life

Warning: This book contains sensitive content and is is rated +18, everything in this book is strictly a work of fiction and is not related to any real life event or persons.

Chapter 1

Nazy

My hand trembled in fear, tears rolled down my eyes, as my brain try to process the doctors words, 

“YOU’RE HIV POSITIVE!”

“YOU’RE HIV POSITIVE!”

“YOU’RE HIV POSITIVE!”

The doctor's words resounded and echoed in my head, 

“Miss Matin!”

“Miss Matin!” The doctor repeatedly called my name but all I did was stare at him with a blank expression, 

“This is not the end of the world miss Matin, you can still live your normal life” 

I looked down at the brown envelope in my hand which is evidence that my life is over and looked at the doctor who's telling me that I can still live my normal life knowing fully that my life is not normal anymore.

I staggered up from the seat I was sitting on, 

“Miss Matin” The doctor hurried up and tried to catch me from falling but I stopped him, 

“I'm fine doctor” I said to him as I dragged my feet out of his office, tears rolling down my eyes, fears of the unknown engulfed me, my heart felt like it was literally breaking into a million pieces.

My life is over, outside of the hospital my fiance is waiting for me, our wedding is in a month's time, how do I tell him that I'm HIV POSITIVE, how the hell am I going to break this news to him. 

At this point I was literally a walking corpse, the people in the hallway were all staring at me like I've gone crazy, but I could care less, cause the only thing I care about right now, is whether my boyfriend is going to accept me or not, I can't hide this from him, not when he's literally out there waiting for me, 

How would I have know that the morning sickness I thought was just a simple fever turned out to be a symptom of some incurable illness, but I love Fred too much to hide such an important news from him, I can't look him in the face again if I hide this, he's all I've got in this world and he deserve to know the truth.

I wiped my tears and decided to be sincere with the man I love, but as I came out of the hospital and sighted Fred leaning on his car, my legs felt heavier and heavier as I got closer to him, immediately he saw me, he stood straight with a worried expression.

“Nazy what's wrong why are you crying?” He asked and walked up to me, 

“Fred…..!”

“Fred….!” I called and burst into tears, 

“Come here” He said and gently pulled me into his arms, patting my back

“It's okay, it's going to be fine okay? Stop crying” He kept on hugging me and whispering suiting words in my ears and just like magic it worked, I finally stopped crying, and after what seems like forever we pulled away and he cupped my face, 

“Now can you tell me what's wrong, why are you crying?” 

I slowly looked down at the brown envelope in my hand, 

“Is this the reason why you're crying?” He asked and try taking the envelope but I held tight on it.

“What's wrong Nazy?” He whispered in a soft voice

“What if you leave me after seeing what's inside?” I asked staring in his eyes

“But you know that's not going to happen, our wedding is in a month's time. How can I leave you? I don't even want to be with anyone else, we have been through a lot together, it's you or no one else Nazy I love you till death, and you know that”

“You won't leave me right?”

“I swear to you I won't, look into my eyes, do you think I can survive without you? You're literally the air that I breathe, you're my reason to live, Nazy, I don't see myself without you, my life is meaningless without you so please believe me” 

He pulled me in for a kiss, while I wrapped my arms around his neck, tears rolled down my eyes as we pulled away, how do I tell this man that I might die if he leaves me.

“Now can I see the envelope?” He asked as we pulled away from the kiss and reluctantly I gave it to him, at this point my heart was reverberating like a tornado I've never been this anxious in my life I could literally feel my nerves wrecking, I watched as he opened the brown envelope and slowly pulled out the white paper, as he was about to flip it open, I suddenly grabbed his hand stopping him

“Remember your promise?”

“Trust me Nazy” He said with a look of assurance and I slowly let his hands go, his eyes finally came in contact with the words on the paper, 

I saw that shocking expression on his face, I saw that disappointment look on his face, but most importantly I saw our relationship flashed before my eyes. The look he's giving me right now is definitely not familiar to me, and just like a nightmare, he pointed accusing fingers at me.

“What's this?!” He yelled and threw the paper to my face, 

“What have you done Nazy? Hiv, really? Is this what you're showing me?!”

“But you said you loved me?”

“With this? Oh please don't be ridiculous, where did you get this?”

“Really? You're asking me this Fred, like you don't know what I did to make sure that you had a successful surgery, you forgot how you were almost dying in the hospital and begged me to do anything and to make sure you had surgery, you forgot how you cried to me that you were in so much pain and could not bear it anymore”

“Are you saying it's my fault that you had this disease? Or wait, don't tell me you think I'll take you back with that bullshit?”

“Of course Fred, I was desperate to save you, else how do you think I was able to gather such a huge amount of money for your surgery”

“Wait, Nazy, what are you trying to say?”

My tears flow endlessly as I drew closer to him but my fiance drew back with a disgusting look on his face, 

“I slept with men, Fred, I slept with countless men to gather money for your surgery, I slept with both old and young, I did the dirty job just because I wanted to save the man I love and this look is what you're giving me?”

“You're going to die, what type of look are you expecting from me?” 

“Fred?” I called with anxiousness trying to reach out and hold him but instead he backed away from me,

“Fred?” I called with anxiousness, anxiety and fear of being abandoned

“Fred remember I did this for you, for us” 

“I never asked you to sleep with men to save me”

“What else would you have me do…!” I yelled in frustration, and the people passing by was looking at me, 

“Anything but certainly not sleeping around, and now look what you've done to yourself”

“Please Fred we can talk about this” I pleaded in a trembling voice, and got closer to him as I fell to my knees grabbing his leg, all the veins in my face and neck were popping out at this point, my hair was scattered and messy

“Please Fred remember the promise you made to me few minutes ago, you can't live me I'm going to die without you” 

“I'm sorry Nazy, but this thing between us is over” He said and pulled our engagement ring as he threw it to my face, I shake my head in denial and just as he was about to leave, I grabbed his shirt, 

“Fred, Fred, Fred……” I stuttered, my whole body was shaking like I'm about to pass out

“You're joking with me right? You didn't mean any words that you said right, you love me right? Remember you said you can't live without me?”

“Stop being delusional and face reality” He said to my face and pushed me away from him and threw the result at me 

“Fred but I did this to save you!” I yelled as he was about to enter his car, he stopped and turned to me, 

“Thank you but now you have to think about your life, I wish you the best'' 

“Noo……no…..!” I yelled and stood up but before I got to him, he already drove away, 

“Fred…….!”

“Fred please come back……!” 

“Fred……!” 

I broke down in tears, crying and yelling his name, while passerby stare at me like I'm some crazy woman.

I don't know how many hours I sat there crying but by the time I looked up, it was dark and cloudy, the thunder was making rumbling sounds in the sky and it was windy, droplets of rain began to drop and the next minute it began to remain heavily, people run around for shelter, but instead I stood up, barefooted with the brown envelope in my hand I began walking with no direction

The rain beats me, people looked at me like I've gone berserk, and a car nearly ran me over, the driver came out of the car and began cursing me, but instead I kept working like a dead corpse, 

I was drenched in the rain. I was supposed to be shaking in cold but crazily I felt nothing. I don't know how long I've walked, I don't know how many hours I spent walking. 

Seeing the building in front of me, who would have thought I'll be back here again, I walked straight to his office and without knocking I badged in, 

“Shit Nazzy!”He groaned and the bitch that was sitting on his lap stood up. She glared at me and left, I slumped down on the seat before him.

“What happened? You look messed up, thought you said you'll never come back here again” 

I ignore him and grabbed the stick of cigarettes from the table and light it, I took a heavy drag from it and puff the smoke straight to his face

“Plans changed I'm back here for good”

“That's not possible, what about your little prince?”

“Hmmm” I scoff in between tears 

“He's dead to me” 

“So you mean you're back for good?”

“I'm back to stay” I said to him and stood up, and without shame I strip in front of him, I was now left in my matching brazier and red thong 

He looked at me smiling widely, as he caress his bears

“I like this new you more” He smirked

“Who am I serving tonight?”