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Falling Out of Frame

Author: Jewella
last update Huling Na-update: 2025-08-04 02:17:10

Alex~

I don’t remember the first lecture I skipped.

It was probably Tuesday or maybe Wednesday but the days keep folding into each other like laundry I’ll never get around to, and everything’s starting to rot beneath the weight of being left too long. I tell myself it’s just one class, just one absence, just a little slip.

But soon enough, I’m not opening my laptop. I’m not responding to group chats. I stop setting alarms and start sleeping with my phone face-down, like if I don’t see the notifications, they won’t remind me of all the things I’m failing at my assignments, friends, Seth.

Seth.

God, just thinking about his name guts me.

Every time I glance at his bed, now empty and made too neatly, I feel like my skin is too tight. Like I’m trapped in something that used to feel safe and warm and now just feels like evidence.

I can’t bring myself to touch the duffel bag he didn’t take, I can’t even look at it without thinking about the way his mouth trembled when he said, “You don’t ge
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  • More Than Roommates    Chapter 64: Back like he never left

    Alex~The locker room goes quiet the second Seth steps in.Not silent, quiet, because the showers still run in the background and the sound of wet feet slaps the tiles still happen but no one talks anymore.Suddenly I catch myself understanding his earlier question. Seth however doesn’t act like any of this has affected him and continues his walk into the room like he hasn’t been missing from the space for weeksHis duffel slides off his shoulder and lands on the bench with a soft thud but doesn’t look around. He doesn’t need to to knowing that they’re all watching.I hang back at the door and watch the scene unfold, leaning against the frame. Nobody’s paying me any mind as they’re all focused on him. Seth pulls off his hoodie, folds it and sets it on top of his bag. His movements are steady, deliberate, but I can see the tension in his shoulders, the way his hands don’t quite relax but they don’t shake. I don’t want to be in his shoes right now.A couple guys glance at each other. N

  • More Than Roommates    Chapter 63: Back

    Alex~Seth’s not himself.He wants me to believe it’s just another day, but the truth bleeds out in the smallest ways. He keeps retying his sneakers until the laces look like they’re about to snap in two, he cracks his knuckles then clenches his hands like he’s trying to force them still, his jaw keeps ticking while he is struggling to keep up his mask of indifference.I’m sitting on the edge of my bed, pretending to scroll through my phone, but my eyes keep drifting to him. He paces once across the room, stops at the door like he’s ready to leave, then doubles back and drops onto the mattress beside me, head tipped back, eyes shut like he needs to reset himself.“You don’t have to go in looking like you’re about to be executed,” I say softly.He cracks one eye open at me, expression somewhere between tired and amused. “That obvious?”I don’t answer, because yeah, it is.Today’s the day his suspension is over and he’s supposed to walk back into the gym and act like he belongs there,

  • More Than Roommates    Chapter 62: slow

    Alex~I wake up slowly, with the blaring of my alarm clock and without the usual guilt that accompanies me from time to time. My body feels heavy in the sheets and anchored by a weight and warmth that isn’t mine. For a second I think I’m dreaming because there’s no way Seth’s leg is still draped across my hip, no way his breath is this steady against the side of my neck. But then he shifts and his thigh presses closer, and the dream gives way to undeniable reality.I keep my eyes closed for a little while longer than I should trying to hold the moment in the dark and make it last before light ruins it.I pray to whatever deity hovering around that after this time, we don’t go through another shitstorm. All my days after the best sex of my life turns into a whole week of going ten steps backwards after taking just one forward.When my eyes peel open, I can feel that today is different.My voice comes out quiet, almost swallowed by the sheets.“Hopefully we get a full week of good new

  • More Than Roommates    Chapter 61: Dick Deep

    Seth~I can’t sit still.I’ve been pacing the same strip of floor for twenty minutes, back and forth, like if I stop moving my chest will cave in. My heart won’t slow down. My hands keep finding each other, wringing, then dropping, then tugging through my hair.The livestream ended an hour ago, but the words are still echoing inside me. Alex on that panel, sitting there with Jordan, his voice steady even when his hands shook. The way he talked about hiding, kissing boys in secret and about shame and refusing to apologize for his heart.And then the question. Are you in love?He didn’t hesitate long. Just enough for me to hold my breath until it hurt. Then he said it, the words I didn’t let myself dream about.“Yeah. I think I am.”I swear the air left my body all at once and my knees almost gave out. I whispered me too to the empty room, because that’s all I could do, because if he’d been standing in front of me I think I would have grabbed him and never let go.Now he’s about to w

  • More Than Roommates    Chapter 60: Me too

    Seth I get an invite but I don’t go.Not because I don’t want to see him, not because I don’t care, but because the thought of walking into that room and sitting among strangers while Alex answers questions about himself makes my chest feel too tight. He needs space. He deserves it and maybe I’m just a coward who doesn’t want the camera to catch my face and read me before I’m ready.So I stay in the dorm. Hoodie over my head, curtains pulled against the afternoon light, my laptop balanced on my knees. The livestream opens, some university media team streaming the whole thing for students who couldn’t make it. The title card flashes‘Queer Youth in Today’s World: First Panel Discussion’ and then the feed cuts to the stage.Alex walks in beside Jordan, and I forget how to breathe for a second. He’s in his button-up that he wears when he wants to look responsible, sleeves rolled up like he got annoyed halfway through dressing and stopped trying. His hair’s a little messy, like he didn

  • More Than Roommates    Chapter 59: Panel

    Alex~The morning of the first panel meeting feels heavier than most, like I’ve been walking toward it for weeks without realizing. The email reminder has been sitting in my inbox I must’ve checked the time on my phone a dozen times before my alarm even went off.Jordan’s supposed to come by so we can head over together. Just thinking about sitting on that stage, in front of strangers who’ll be waiting for us to bleed honesty into microphones, makes my stomach twist. Underneath though, there’s a flicker of something else beneath the nerves, like an anticipation. A chance to say things out loud that I’ve only ever whispered in dark rooms.Jordan shows up at my door in his usual way, he knocks loudly without patience. I’m halfway through tying my shoelaces when I hear him, and Seth, who’s been quiet all morning, glances at me from his bed.“You expecting the Pope?” Seth mutters.I don’t answer, mostly because my stomach’s already a knot. I just shove my feet into my sneakers and open

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