LOGINSeth~
I catch myself thinking about Leo again, even though I really don’t want to. It’s the morning after everything, the awkwardness with Alex, the shitstorm Mikey caused, the press already sniffing around for a scandal. My jaw still aches from grinding my teeth all night. There’s no time to get soft or sentimental. Not now. Not when I’ve got a team to hold together, a scholarship to protect, and a roommate who looks at me like I’m either his worst nightmare or his biggest distraction. Leo’s the kind of memory I’m supposed to file away under “Mistakes I Pretend Were Fun.” But my mind goes there anyway. He’d probably laugh if he knew I still think about him sometimes. “Everyone out in three… two… out now, folks, or I’ll make you jog ’round the pitch!” Coach’s voice echoes through the locker room as he smacks the nearest player upside the head. The shuffle begins. A sea of sweaty bodies disperses with groans and curses. The scent of liniment and damp socks hits me like a slap. Coach pushes through the mess, zeroing in on me. “Seth…” “I know, Coach,” I cut him off before he can spit the rest out. For now, I’m standing in as captain while Mikey recovers in the hospital from that busted wrist. Thankfully not his dominant hand, or we’d really be screwed. Captain of the Grey Titans sounds glamorous on paper, but in practice? It’s babysitting grown men with the emotional range of toddlers, managing egos, smiling for cameras, and pretending I care about interviews and hashtags. And image. Can’t forget that. I guess sticking with one or two steady hookups instead of screwing my way through half the campus makes me “cleaner” than the rest of them in PR’s eyes. Coach lowers his voice, glancing at the stragglers still pulling on shirts or lacing up shoes. “We need some good PR, especially after what Mikey pulled with those cult boys.” My spine stiffens. “Mikey didn’t pull anything. It was bad timing. Wrong place…” “Like the scouts give a shit,” he snaps. “I’ve got half a mind to bench him for half the season once he’s back. We can’t afford this. Not this year.” My mouth opens, but no words come out. I already know arguing is useless. Coach doesn’t care about explanations, and neither do the men lining his pockets. “You’re captain now. For a while. Probably the whole damn season. That means no mistakes, no distractions, and definitely no more C’s on your report card. You screw this up, and it’s not just you that gets burned.” He doesn’t have to say it. I know what’s on the line. I nod once. “Got it.” Coach slaps my shoulder harder than necessary and shoves me toward the exit. “Then act like it. Lead.” I force a smile and walk out like everything’s fine. Like my future isn’t dangling by a thread. Three hours later, I’m halfway through dinner at a quiet booth in O’Malley’s Diner when Leo walks in like he owns the place. He’s in ripped jeans and a snug blue tee that hugs his frame just right. Confident. Relaxed. Gorgeous. The kind of presence that pulls eyes from across the room without even trying. I hate that I notice. “Hey,” he says, beaming as he slides into the seat across from me like we’d planned this. We didn’t. “Hey,” I mutter, already flagging down the waiter. He looks too good. Leo always has that effect—makes people lean in without realizing they’re doing it. He’s the polar opposite of Alex, who flinched away from my gaze this morning like I was a loaded gun. They look similar in build, but where Leo thrives on attention, Alex hides from it. “I didn’t expect to see you,” I say as casually as I can manage. “You look good,” Leo says, eyes dropping as he flicks imaginary dust from his nails. He tries not to blush, but I see the color rising in his cheeks. The waiter arrives. “I’m good with what I’ve got,” I tell him, gesturing across the table. “Take his order.” Leo rattles off his favorites, the same ones he always gets when we go out. I don’t need to listen, I already know. When the waiter leaves, Leo reaches across the table and takes my hand. “I’ve missed you,” he says. “You’ve barely called. Are you… done with me already?” His voice is too soft, too hopeful. “We weren’t like that, Leo.” “You gave me a key to your place,” he says. “I could let myself in. We could just… be.” My stomach clenches. The image of Leo showing up while Alex’s still adjusting to the idea of sharing a room with me is almost laughable. Almost. I pull my hand back gently. “There’s no need for that.” He blinks. Hurt flickers across his face. “Why not? Found someone else? Someone who moans prettier for you?” I exhale slowly. “A new pussy would be more up my alley.” He flinches, and I regret the words instantly. “I’m joking,” I say, softer. “Look, I’m trying to focus right now. No distractions. Not even the good ones.” Like you, I don’t say. Coach’s warning echoes in my head. One wrong move, and everything I’ve worked for goes up in smoke. Leo studies me for a beat, then nods. The food comes just in time, filling the space between us with warm plates and even warmer silence. I crash hard that night, sleep stealing me before I can overthink things. But peace never lasts. The third call finally wakes me. My phone buzzes violently on the nightstand, and I fumble for it with groggy fingers. It’s Mum. “Hello?” I whisper, careful not to wake Alex. “Seth!” Mum’s voice cracks, panic sharp in every syllable. “It’s Penny, she’s having another seizure. It’s bad. She’s not responding.” I sit up instantly, heart hammering. “What? Have you called an ambulance?” “Yes, but your father…” Her voice falters, heavy with exhaustion. “He passed out. Drank himself stupid. He’s in the living room, covered in his own vomit.” Fuck. I’m miles away, helpless. The distance between me and everything falling apart feels like a canyon. “Mum,” I say, voice steadier than I feel, “Is there anyone nearby who can help? Someone from the neighborhood? Maybe I can call in a favor.” She scoffs, bitter and raw. “You think I haven’t tried? You think this is new? Since Penny—since that day at the cliffs—you’ve been the reason everything’s gone to hell.” Her words hit like a punch I didn’t see coming. I close my eyes. It wasn’t about running away. It was about surviving what I’d caused. Penny followed me to that damn cliff, jumped when I wasn’t looking—and she landed wrong. Hit her head. Broke her leg. The seizures came after. Mum never stopped blaming me. Dad couldn’t take it and took to drinking. Now it’s just us—two broken halves trying not to shatter completely. “I’m sorry,” I whisper, voice barely audible. “I never meant for any of this. I’m trying—” “Trying isn’t enough,” she snaps. “Not when your sister’s life is hanging by a thread, and your father’s given up.” The silence after is thick and suffocating. I’m not the kid who ran away. I’m the kid who broke everything and can’t fix it. Not yet. So while the guilt still eats at my heart I call a friend from high school who still stays around home.Alex~I get to the arena too early.The building looks smaller from the outside than it does on TV, a squat concrete thing with banners taped crooked along the entrance and students milling around in clusters.I walk in with my hands in my jacket pockets and my shoulders loose.Inside, it smells like popcorn and rubber soles and there is a faint electric buzz that never quite goes away in places meant for crowds. I find my seat halfway up the bleachers, close enough to see faces but far enough back that I can take the whole court in at once.The floor gleams. The lights are aggressive. Music pulses through the speakers in short bursts, hype stitched together from bass and shouting.I text Seth even though I know he won’t see it yet.I’m here.Three dots appear almost immediately, then disappear, then come back.Good. Don’t leave.I smile to myself and tuck my phone away.People trickle in around me. A couple holding hands, a group of freshmen wearing matching hoodies, someone settles
Alex~I clock in at twelve forty-eight, two minutes early, because I like the feeling of being ahead of something even when nothing else in my life feels like it’s waiting for me.Jamie is already there, perched sideways on the edge of the big table like the room belongs to them, laptop open, coffee sweating through the paper cup and leaving rings on the wood. The space smells like dust and citrus cleaner, the kind they use when they want a place to feel productive instead of loved. The windows are cracked open just enough to let the afternoon in, that half-warm, half-bored light that makes everything look unfinished.Maya swivels in her chair when she sees me. “You’re early,” she says.“I woke up early,” I tell her, which isn’t a lie, just not the reason.She hums, already turning back to her screen. Maya always does acknowledging you without making it a thing and I swear it’s a talent. Jamie, on the other hand, looks up like they’re about to read me aloud.“How is the paid laborer l
Seth~ I wake up already late for something. Alex is still in bed beside me, the sheets kicked halfway down, his shirt twisted around his ribs. He’s on his side, facing me, eyes closed but not deeply asleep. I can tell by the way his fingers keep flexing against the pillow, like he’s counting breaths. I don’t move right away. There’s a version of my life now where mornings feel borrowed, like I’m always leaving something behind even when I’m still in the room. I don’t want to rush this one. Not when he’s here. Not when the day hasn’t asked anything of us yet. The light is different this late. Sharper. It cuts across his face instead of spilling gently over it, catching on his lashes, the line of his mouth. He looks older like this. More settled. Not softer—Alex has never been soft—but anchored in himself in a way I don’t remember from earlier in the year. I wonder when that happened. Maybe I was too busy looking outward to notice. I reach out, brush my thumb
Alex~ The sheets are still warm when we crawl back into them. The curtains are half drawn. Afternoon light spills in sideways, catching dust in the air, striping Seth’s bare shoulder, my arm, the wall. By this time the campus is fairly active that we can hear activities going on. A skateboard cracking against concrete, a car door slamming somewhere too far to matter, voices of people. Seth lies on his stomach, one arm tucked under the pillow, the other stretched toward me. His hair is still damp from the shower he took after breakfast, darker at the ends. I watch the slow rise of his back, the way his breathing evens out only when he’s really relaxed, when he’s not thinking about drills or meetings or the shape of the next week. I slide closer, my knee fitting into the space behind his thigh like it belongs there. My hand finds the line of his spine, traces down, stops at the waistband of his shorts. He hums, low and content, without opening his eyes. “You’re heavy,” he
Alex~ I wake up first, which is rare, because Seth usually sleeps like he’s guarding something. Light and easily ready to throw his arm across whatever’s closest like it might disappear if he lets go. Today it’s me. His forearm is warm against my stomach, skin-to-skin, the weight of it anchoring me there. The room is so quiet in a way that only exists early in the morning. Pale light sneaks through the blinds, striping his shoulder, his jaw, the corner of his mouth that’s always slightly turned down even when he’s relaxed. I don’t move right away. I just lie there and breathe him in. His hair is a mess, curls flattened on one side, sticking up on the other. His lashes look unfairly long like this, resting against his cheeks, and for a second I feel that familiar tug this soft, ridiculous fondness that feels like it could ruin me if I stare too long. So I don’t stare, I catalog. The steady rise and fall of his chest. The way his fingers twitch occasionally, like he’s dr
Alex~ The dorm feels quiet in that late afternoon way, the kind where sunlight spills in through half-open blinds and the world outside seems almost irrelevant. Jordan is perched on the edge of my bed, knees bent, backpack at his feet, and he’s talking fast, half to himself and half to me about the final edits on his project. He gestures, letting the air take the shape of his words, and I watch him, listening more than responding. It’s been so long since I’ve seen him like this, casual and relaxed. He is a little distracted but it’s good. “I think I finally settled on the last color grade,” he says, rubbing the back of his neck. “It’s subtle, barely there, but it keeps the mood from going too… theatrical, I guess. Too polished. You know what I mean?” I nod, though I’m not sure I do. “Yeah. Polished most times can kill authenticity. Sometimes too much clarity makes people miss what’s underneath.” He grins. “Exactly. That’s what I was going for. Lived-in, but intentional.







