25. A Coward's Words

YILEYNA

His apology had shaken me, but it wasn’t the words he spoke that had gotten to me, it was the emotion in it, the pain in his eyes and the obvious regret. It gave me some clarity. Even when Ailema had comforted me, I realised Theon was also suffering, far more than he showed. I had wanted to go to him, but my own emotions had overwhelmed me, the pain I felt… how could I still care for him despite what he had done? Even if he regretted it and was misguided, it confused me. There was pain and love within me, paired with the intense desire to pounce upon him.

I needed to control myself. This hunger for his physical touch was beginning to scare me, and although I wondered if another man’s touch would help, I couldn’t do it.

He consumed my heart and mind.

The following day, the mention of that apology was not brought up again, but I felt a bit lighter. I just wish I had Mom or Dad’s view on things, what would they advise me? Deep down I knew the answer to that, my parents had rai