''Can we please talk?'' Zack popped up out of nowhere.
I've been trying to avoid him all day but, alas he caught me at a moment of weakness.
''Don't you have to keep your new girlfriend company?'' I asked as I closed my locker to look at him.
His eyes looked so sad but, this time I won't give in so easily. I always give in when he bats his rather beautifully long lashes at me. It's rather odd how guys always have long lashes when compared to girls.
''This is more important. You're more important,'' he earnestly tried to convince me.
''Oh, I'm important now? What do you want?'' I asked as I gave him my biggest fake smile.
He sighed and ran a hand through his brown curly locks that were getting longer than usual. I must admit that I do miss his natural blond colour, but he hated it. He said it reminded him too much of his mother who he grew to hate as he got older.
You know the feeling.
''I'm sorry,''
''You've been awfully sorry a lot,'' I said.
I busied my hands in my locker, doing nothing in particular.
This time I wanted more than just an apology.
''I'm sorry. I was an asshole to you, I truly am. You know I love you and just want you to be safe. You have to understand that I've never heard of this Kevin dude before and all of a sudden he's everywhere. It's kind of really suspicious. But as your best friend, I love you and will learn to somehow accept this guy.''
I sighed, ''Look, Zack, I'm glad you want to take care of me or whatever but, I'm a big girl. I promise I can take care of myself,''
Mindy was making her way over here, he seemed to notice this as well.
''Hey Zacky, you still coming to my practice right?'' she asked.
She twisted her beautifully manicured devil fingers around one of his curls when she arrived where we were. Truth be told, Mindy wasn't that terrible of a person but still.
He looked at me, silently begging me to allow him to go.
Just as you were going to forgive him too.
''I don't even want you there anymore. Bye,'' I lied before walking away.
''Kay, come on,'' he started but, I already turned down the corridor.
That's when I bumped into Kevin. He looked at me, the smile that was on his face slowly disappeared when he says the tears in my eyes.
When did those get there? Maybe about the same time your vision got blurry.
He pulled me into a hug and took me away from the bustling corridor.
We silently sat in an empty classroom; the occasional sniffles coming from yours truly was the only sound that echoed through the space.
''Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.''
I stopped sniffling looking at him, confused.
''Sorry, I didn't know what else to do. I'll shut up now,'' he said his cheeks turning slightly red. He made a zipping motion over his mouth and tossed the imaginary key behind him.
''No that's okay, I need the distraction,'' I told him trying my best to smile.
If he wasn't here my mind probably would have gotten really dark again and, I'm pretty sure I would have had a breakdown. Having a mental breakdown at school would be terrible for several reasons. The main one would be that they would probably call Zack and, he doesn't know about my mental health and, the state of disrepair that it's in or has been in for the past ten or so years.
''Okay well, I have another one for you. Here goes: Why shouldn't write with a broken pencil?''
''I don't know, why?'' I did know but who was I to step on his jokes?
''It's pointless,''
We both chuckled.
''Do you like cartoons?'' I asked him.
''Yeah, my little brother introduced me to one called Bravest Warriors. I'm pretty into that one right now,''
I didn't know he had a little brother. Well, that's expected seeing as I only met him yesterday.
''Well, how about you and your brother come over one day and, we watch cartoons. Together that is,''
''Well that would be great but, I'm not sure I want my brother to intrude on our first date,''
''Our first what?''
''Our first date. Unless you count this evening as our first date which is fine too,''
''I didn't ask you on a date,'' I said.
Did I ask him out? I don't think so, I never meant to. Am I about to reject my first guy? Wow, this is so exciting. I've never rejected anyone before. Wait-was I really about to do that? That's so mean I couldn't go through with it.
''Yes you did,'' he laughed slightly at my freaked-out state ''A date as defined by G****e that would apply in the situation is a social appointment or engagement,''
''Oh, well I guess it is a date,'' A technicality, I suppose.
He nodded in agreement and, just then the bell rang.'' Let's get you to your class little lady. Oh, do you mind if I invite a friend or two to lunch with me today? It's just that my friends Luke and Zoa heard about me having lunch with you. They really wanted to come, but I didn't want to intrude on your lunch table,''
''It's fine Kevin, they're welcomed to join us.'' Maybe they could be those friends I was looking for.
Sure and then you'll find a golden pot carrying a tiny unicorn.
''Great,'' He said and held the door open for me to walk through.
We parted ways. I went to Foods and he went to whatever class he had now. Food and Nutrition was my favourite class, it was simplicity at its finest. Plus, F.N. was my easy A subject. I was good at it, not to flex but practical subjects are my b. Even though I love the subject, I wasn't feeling it and really wanted to go to lunch and eat my problems away.
I stared hard at the full lunch tray I had in my hands. It was more overflowing than full. Still, I was super excited to eat but, then my stupid therapist and her stupid words of knowledge popped up in my head. 'Food is not love and it definitely isn't the solution. ' Food isn't love but, it's sure damn close though. Has she ever had lasagna after a good cry? Let me tell you it's great. I should suggest it to her. Does she even cry though? She should, right? The image of Dr Marsha's face soaked with tears, eating lasagna was so weird to me, and that's saying something. ''Are you trying to get it to explode?'' I jumped. Zack laughed as I pursed my lips and looked at him, unamused might I add. ''What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be trying to get into Mindy's skirt?'' I asked him, my face blank. ''I always have lunch with you,'' he stated matter of factly with a frown as we both plopped down in our regular seats. Before I said anything Kevin and two people-one girls, one gu
We drove for a while. It took way longer than it would take to get to either of our homes. I wanted to pretend to wake up and ask where we were going; I was just too exhausted to bother or care. I decided to enjoy the ride and the soft humming of music from the radio. "I told Zoa to raincheck on the shopping trip. I hope you don't mind me doing so,'' When I stayed quiet, he continued ''Mindy told me she saw you crying. What's that about?'' Again, I said nothing. ''Could you please stop ignoring me? It's getting on my nerves,'' he stated rather than ask. ''I know you're awake,'' ''What do you want me to say?'' I asked, my eyes still closed. ''I don't know. Just stop pretending that I'm not here,'' I decided not to respond, turning my attention back to the song that was playing. It was Renee by SALES. You got it...You got it...You got My head bobbed to the soothing melody. Music was so therapeutic and, no one could tell me otherwise. I was seriously tempted to ask wher
I stared at the screen not paying it much attention. Instead, my mind was hyper-focused on what had just happened. Was I reading into this too much? Probably. Zack was a very loyal guy so it was probably just a friendly peck on the head. Yeah, that's what it was, a friendly kiss on the head given to me by my best and only friend. My best friend, damn my life. You can say that again. Zack's laughter brought me from my thoughts. As much as he would deny it, this was his favourite movie. Every time he was sad I would put it on and make him some macaroni and cheese with bacon, his favourite dish. I remember the first time we watched Shark Tale actually. It was his fourth birthday and he was not feeling very well so his mother suggested watching a movie instead of a big party like they normally did. For me, that day was special because it was the first time we spent his birthday together, just us. Alone. He was always popular, which meant when he had parties, he was constantly surrounded
I smiled and waved as I watched Zack drive out of the school's car park. Just smile and wave boys, smile and wave. Truth be told I didn't have rehearsals today, well I did but it was not until later. For some reason, the other members of the drama club were busy during the day. I think that's what you call 'having a life' but, I could be wrong. The reason I told everyone that I needed to be at school was because I was ashamed to let them know that I go to therapy. I know I shouldn't be self-conscious that I was getting help. I was more ashamed of the fact that I needed help at all. I've always prided myself on being independent ever since I was young. During my first couple of sessions with Dr Marsha, we went over how okay it was to be self-aware and get assistance when you need it. In fact, she told me she went to therapy herself. I'm not sure if it was to help me feel more comfortable around her or to show that not everyone had perfect mental health. Regardless, it meant nothing
I've been seeing Dr Marsha for a while, her diploma-decorated office walls and the uncomfortable blue couch were so familiar I could draw them in my sleep. There was always the smell of floral Lysol floor cleaners that stuck around even hours after the cleaning lady left. The fake potted palm was in the same place as always- obnoxiously in my space. I swear it gets closer and closer with each visit. Said visits have been going on for over three years and, every time without fail, she would ask me the same question whenever she seems me 'How was your day?' Sometimes when she is feeling spicy she will ask me 'How are you doing?' Honestly, they were the same question. I wonder if she preplans which question or if it's just a spur-of-the-moment type of thing? Nothing with Dr Marsha felt random so it was likely planned. Today she decided to ask me how my day was going. For the first time, I said something besides fine; I finally had something worth saying. ''My brother and I talked tod
I stared at Lucas with tears that unfocused my vision. I don't think I've ever been so relieved to see someone in my house before. Granted, he had a right to be there but, you get the picture. ''You should have told me you were buying. I would have saved my money. In fact, I should be the one to buy since I came up with the idea or at least I think so. You know what it doesn't even matter, I'll put it in the fridge and no you can't have it for breakfast tomorrow,'' Lucas rambled while I continued to stare and smile. ''Okay, what's up with you? Why are you smiling so much and, will you stop staring? It's creeping me out,'' he mentioned as he looked at me weirdly after placing the food he bought in the fridge. I hugged him tightly. I guess I still had my reservations about him actually being there for me. I wasn't sure if this was going to be a one-off situation or if it was going to be forever. I wanted to ask, but I kept quiet. I was afraid that I would scare him into changing his
When World War Three did not break out immediately, I cautiously walked to the living room. I found Zack with his arms crossed as he sat on the couch; he looked very, very upset. Kevin was there with slightly widened and panicked eyes. He looked like he didn't know what to do or what was going on. ''Um Zack hey, whatcha doing here?'' I asked as I stood in front of him. ''I saw on his story that you were having a party, so I decided to come over since my invitation seemed to have gotten lost,'' he said. ''There isn't and, there won't be a party. Sorry to disappoint but you can go home now,'' I said. Zack looked at me with furrowed brows, ''Why do you want me to leave so badly? Since when do you question why I come over? You're MY best friend, remember? We always visit each other unannounced,'' ''Yes I know that, but I'm hanging out with Kevin right now. You do know I'm allowed to talk to other people, right?'' He rolled his eyes,'' I know that,'' he pouted. I sighed. I knew I was
My gaze flitted between Lucas and Zack as they glared at each other from across the dining table. I swear I saw dark clouds and lightning flashing in the background. I was surprised I didn't hear a deep voice shout 'Fight!'. Who knew I had such melodramatic people in my life? I thought I was the actress in the group. ''Do you plan to keep making eyes at each other for the rest of breakfast or...'' I trailed off. Both gasped and sputtered as if they just swallowed a huge gulp of salt water. Their faces looked like it too. They were once again trying to take my role as the actress in the group. ''Look, I don't get why you both don't like each other. I mean you guys like me so, you already have something in common. I don't see the problem,'' I said between bites of my 'crispy' pancake. ''He abandoned you for twelve years and then just waltz back into your life like it never happened. That's ridiculous,'' I'm sure it wasn't twelve years. I was about to say something that would def