I looked at myself in the mirror, tilting my head to get a different angle. I tugged the cotton-pink sweater away from my body and criticised it ever so slightly. Should I change it? I still have a bit of time before my students' council meeting. I turned to my closet and ran my hands across the different colours, patterns and materials. I took out a predominantly white tee with sunflowers scattered all across the front. I held it up against my body. My face scrunched up, I wasn't in a sunflower mood so, I decided to stick with the fuzzy pink sweater beside it really complimented my skin tone.
''Are you decent?'' Zack asked, sticking his head in my room.
''What do you think?'' I asked him not taking my eyes from the mirror.
''You look cute. I like it,'' he said and walked into my room.
He flopped face-first into my unmade bed and then snuggled with my pillow. That statement was good enough for me. I turned to him and, said I was ready. Zack was on the student council with me so, he gave me a ride to school on the days we have early meetings, which is every Monday.
As we walked down the stairs, he started to talk.
''I'm sorry about yesterday. I know I'm being a terrible friend, but I really like Moya,''
''Mindy,''
''Oh yeah, Mindy right. So am I forgiven?'' he asked, looking at me with those beautiful blue-green eyes of his. Curse his model-like genes.
''Yeah, whatever." I locked the door behind us, "Besides if you hadn't ditched me I probably wouldn't have met Kevin,''
I haphazardly put my keys in my bag as Zack asked in a very low monotone,'' Who's Kevin?''
I turned towards him confused by the sudden mood change, ''Kevin is a new friend of mine. I met him yesterday in the car park.''
''New friend, huh?''
''Yes, Zackary I can make friends. People can like me you know,'' I said with a bit of sass.
''I know, relax dude geez. I was just saying,'' he held his hands up in surrender.
I rolled my eyes and flipped my hair behind me as I passed him. I wasn't upset because he insinuated that I have no friends, but my anger was more geared towards him missing my play. Guess I still wasn't over that.
''This is about your play isn't it?'' he asked.
He took hold of my hand and turned me to look at him. He could read me like a book or maybe I didn't know how to hide my emotions. Either way, it was difficult to hide things from him.
Except that.
''No,'' I lied straight through my teeth.
''If it means that much to you, I'll come to your play. I love you and, I want to support you,'' he said, looking me dead in the eye.
''Do you promise for real this time?'' I mumbled and, he pulled me into a tight hug. He smelled nice like mint and waffles. Though that could have just been my imagination.
''Yeah, I pr-''
''Hey Kiara,'' Kevin's voice said and, I removed myself from Zack's bear hug to wave at him.
''Hey Kevin, why are you walking to school so early?''
''I love the mornings, so I get time to enjoy it when I leave at the crack of dawn. Do you wanna join me? I got some more jokes'' he asked in a singsong tone.
''No, she's riding with me so bye now,'' Zack cut in before I could say anything.
I lightly slapped him on the chest. It was my way of reprimanding him for being so rude.
''Thanks but, Zack would be so lonely without me,'' I joked.
''Oh, no problem. You look really cute today by the way. I guess it's in your jeans,'' He said while looking at my blue jeans. ''A skirt would have been nice too, maybe a black one,''
I giggled at his pun. I contemplated his suggestion of wearing a skirt. That was a pretty good idea.
''Thanks. Hey, how about we go shopping today? You could join us for lunch and, we'll finalise details,'' I suggested.
''No Kay, I'm sure he's busy,'' Zack softly answered for him.
''Nah, I'm not doing anything after school. I would love to join you guys for lunch,''
I didn't miss how Zack narrowed his eyes at Kevin. It was possible that he was just being his unnecessarily protective self. He knew people tended to use me so, he was probably being cautious. Should I be cautious? Kevin didn't look like he wanted anything from me, then again I was never a good judge of character.
I smiled at him, super excited for today. Sure Kevin might be dangerous but I'd enjoy it while it lasted.
Before I could ask if he wanted a ride, Zack butt in yet again'' It's getting late so let's go, Kay,''
''Oh alright. Bye Kevin,'' I said as I got in Zack's car with a goodbye wave.
''That's Kevin by the way. Do you like him?'' I asked as left Kevin behind.
''I don't know him so no,'' Zack's answer was very aloof.
''What do you see in him anyway? He dresses weird and, he approaches girls in car parks, I don't want you talking to him anymore,''
What? ''What?''
Sure, I trusted Zack's intuition but he couldn't just tell me what to do.
''I'm just looking out for you Kay. He could be a serial killer or something. Maybe his friends made a bet to see if he could get with you,''
''What?''
''It's only the thing that's logical Kay. Think about it,'' he tried to reason with me.
''So you're saying that I'm such a horrible and hideous person that the only reason someone would talk to me is that a)they have to be mentally challenged or b) made a bet with someone. Glad to know you think that way,'' I said.
Thank gosh we arrived so that I could storm out all dramatic like.
''You're a real a-hole Zack,'' I told him and slammed his car door and marched to the school doors, keeping my head high. To be honest, I wasn't entirely upset. What he said sucked but I like to believe it was his way of trying to protect me.
''Kay, I'm sorry that's not what I meant. Kay wait, please''
''Zacky. Hey, come here,'' that was Mindy.
Was he going to follow me?
Yeah, right.
I paused and waited to see what he would do. I turned and saw him looking between the two of us. I didn't need to see when he chose her over me. I turned back and around trying hard to keep the tears at bay. I wasn't even going to go to the student council's meeting anymore, the vice president is allowed to be absent sometimes.
''Can we please talk?'' Zack popped up out of nowhere. I've been trying to avoid him all day but, alas he caught me at a moment of weakness. ''Don't you have to keep your new girlfriend company?'' I asked as I closed my locker to look at him. His eyes looked so sad but, this time I won't give in so easily. I always give in when he bats his rather beautifully long lashes at me. It's rather odd how guys always have long lashes when compared to girls. ''This is more important. You're more important,'' he earnestly tried to convince me. ''Oh, I'm important now? What do you want?'' I asked as I gave him my biggest fake smile. He sighed and ran a hand through his brown curly locks that were getting longer than usual. I must admit that I do miss his natural blond colour, but he hated it. He said it reminded him too much of his mother who he grew to hate as he got older. You know the feeling. ''I'm sorry,'' ''You've been awfully sorry a lot,'' I said. I busied my hands in my loc
I stared hard at the full lunch tray I had in my hands. It was more overflowing than full. Still, I was super excited to eat but, then my stupid therapist and her stupid words of knowledge popped up in my head. 'Food is not love and it definitely isn't the solution. ' Food isn't love but, it's sure damn close though. Has she ever had lasagna after a good cry? Let me tell you it's great. I should suggest it to her. Does she even cry though? She should, right? The image of Dr Marsha's face soaked with tears, eating lasagna was so weird to me, and that's saying something. ''Are you trying to get it to explode?'' I jumped. Zack laughed as I pursed my lips and looked at him, unamused might I add. ''What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be trying to get into Mindy's skirt?'' I asked him, my face blank. ''I always have lunch with you,'' he stated matter of factly with a frown as we both plopped down in our regular seats. Before I said anything Kevin and two people-one girls, one gu
We drove for a while. It took way longer than it would take to get to either of our homes. I wanted to pretend to wake up and ask where we were going; I was just too exhausted to bother or care. I decided to enjoy the ride and the soft humming of music from the radio. "I told Zoa to raincheck on the shopping trip. I hope you don't mind me doing so,'' When I stayed quiet, he continued ''Mindy told me she saw you crying. What's that about?'' Again, I said nothing. ''Could you please stop ignoring me? It's getting on my nerves,'' he stated rather than ask. ''I know you're awake,'' ''What do you want me to say?'' I asked, my eyes still closed. ''I don't know. Just stop pretending that I'm not here,'' I decided not to respond, turning my attention back to the song that was playing. It was Renee by SALES. You got it...You got it...You got My head bobbed to the soothing melody. Music was so therapeutic and, no one could tell me otherwise. I was seriously tempted to ask wher
I stared at the screen not paying it much attention. Instead, my mind was hyper-focused on what had just happened. Was I reading into this too much? Probably. Zack was a very loyal guy so it was probably just a friendly peck on the head. Yeah, that's what it was, a friendly kiss on the head given to me by my best and only friend. My best friend, damn my life. You can say that again. Zack's laughter brought me from my thoughts. As much as he would deny it, this was his favourite movie. Every time he was sad I would put it on and make him some macaroni and cheese with bacon, his favourite dish. I remember the first time we watched Shark Tale actually. It was his fourth birthday and he was not feeling very well so his mother suggested watching a movie instead of a big party like they normally did. For me, that day was special because it was the first time we spent his birthday together, just us. Alone. He was always popular, which meant when he had parties, he was constantly surrounded
I smiled and waved as I watched Zack drive out of the school's car park. Just smile and wave boys, smile and wave. Truth be told I didn't have rehearsals today, well I did but it was not until later. For some reason, the other members of the drama club were busy during the day. I think that's what you call 'having a life' but, I could be wrong. The reason I told everyone that I needed to be at school was because I was ashamed to let them know that I go to therapy. I know I shouldn't be self-conscious that I was getting help. I was more ashamed of the fact that I needed help at all. I've always prided myself on being independent ever since I was young. During my first couple of sessions with Dr Marsha, we went over how okay it was to be self-aware and get assistance when you need it. In fact, she told me she went to therapy herself. I'm not sure if it was to help me feel more comfortable around her or to show that not everyone had perfect mental health. Regardless, it meant nothing
I've been seeing Dr Marsha for a while, her diploma-decorated office walls and the uncomfortable blue couch were so familiar I could draw them in my sleep. There was always the smell of floral Lysol floor cleaners that stuck around even hours after the cleaning lady left. The fake potted palm was in the same place as always- obnoxiously in my space. I swear it gets closer and closer with each visit. Said visits have been going on for over three years and, every time without fail, she would ask me the same question whenever she seems me 'How was your day?' Sometimes when she is feeling spicy she will ask me 'How are you doing?' Honestly, they were the same question. I wonder if she preplans which question or if it's just a spur-of-the-moment type of thing? Nothing with Dr Marsha felt random so it was likely planned. Today she decided to ask me how my day was going. For the first time, I said something besides fine; I finally had something worth saying. ''My brother and I talked tod
I stared at Lucas with tears that unfocused my vision. I don't think I've ever been so relieved to see someone in my house before. Granted, he had a right to be there but, you get the picture. ''You should have told me you were buying. I would have saved my money. In fact, I should be the one to buy since I came up with the idea or at least I think so. You know what it doesn't even matter, I'll put it in the fridge and no you can't have it for breakfast tomorrow,'' Lucas rambled while I continued to stare and smile. ''Okay, what's up with you? Why are you smiling so much and, will you stop staring? It's creeping me out,'' he mentioned as he looked at me weirdly after placing the food he bought in the fridge. I hugged him tightly. I guess I still had my reservations about him actually being there for me. I wasn't sure if this was going to be a one-off situation or if it was going to be forever. I wanted to ask, but I kept quiet. I was afraid that I would scare him into changing his
When World War Three did not break out immediately, I cautiously walked to the living room. I found Zack with his arms crossed as he sat on the couch; he looked very, very upset. Kevin was there with slightly widened and panicked eyes. He looked like he didn't know what to do or what was going on. ''Um Zack hey, whatcha doing here?'' I asked as I stood in front of him. ''I saw on his story that you were having a party, so I decided to come over since my invitation seemed to have gotten lost,'' he said. ''There isn't and, there won't be a party. Sorry to disappoint but you can go home now,'' I said. Zack looked at me with furrowed brows, ''Why do you want me to leave so badly? Since when do you question why I come over? You're MY best friend, remember? We always visit each other unannounced,'' ''Yes I know that, but I'm hanging out with Kevin right now. You do know I'm allowed to talk to other people, right?'' He rolled his eyes,'' I know that,'' he pouted. I sighed. I knew I was