Absolutely Fucking Not

You could ask me if I’m in love with my brother’s best friend and I would tell you with a straight face absolutely fucking not.

Kane Wilder is my brother Landon’s best friend, a.k.a a pain in my fucking ass. I met him for the first time when I was six.

He cut off one of my pigtails and when I ran to tell my parents he swore to them that I did it myself. They fucking believed him too and still to this day believe that I did it myself and just tried to blame it on him. I got him back by shaving one of his eyebrows off while he was sleeping.

Since I’ve known him he has cut my hair, ruined three phones by throwing me in our pool fully clothed, drew a dick on my forehead in permanent marker before picture day, broke two of my fingers by practicing his karate on me, and the list goes on.

He’s the main reason I’ve never really had a boyfriend. He’s like 6’4 and he loves to fight so everyone in high school was afraid of him.

Kane has been in exactly four fights over me, one of them was literally because a guy winked at me so he head-butted him and broke his nose. Everyone was convinced it was because he’s in love with me, but it was really because Kane will take any excuse to fight.

I have been in one fight over him. We were at a party one night and as always I was the designated driver while Landon and Kane got entirely too drunk.

That night I caught Brilee Riggs on top of him attempting to get his clothes off while he was barely conscious. She was a slut and I knew they had fucked before but he couldn’t even talk.

So, I dragged her off of him by her hair and beat the shit out of her in front of everyone. He awkwardly thanked me the next day. I’m not sure if he was embarrassed or just not used to having to thank someone, either way we never talked about it again.

After I graduated high school I ended up going to the same college as Landon and Kane. Not because I’m the annoying little sister that follows my brother and his friend wherever they go, but because it’s actually in my hometown and I’d been planning to go there for years.

Landon wanted to go to Penn State but when Kane told him he was going to Washington State Landon decided he wanted to go there too. I was supposed to be free of my brother and his psychotic best friend for the best years of my life but they are just a building away.

The two of them are inseparable, although they don’t like when I make jokes that they should just marry each other because their bromance is ridiculous.

But, even though Kane drives me insane and he’s the reason my index finger doesn’t bend all the way, I still care about him. He stayed with us all the time after he and Landon became best friends. I remember he showed up one night when he was around 15, he was covered in blood and crying. I’d never seen Kane cry before, but after that he came to live with us. I don’t know the extent of his home life and I never push to find out about it but I know it wasn’t good.

He once told me one of his favorite things about me was that I never pried into his business, which is ironically what most people hate about me. I’ve been called a bad friend so many times because when someone is crying, upset, angry, irritated, they want you to ask about it but I never do. I guess I just feel like if you want me to know then you’ll tell me.

I lucked out with my roommate Lydia, we are great friends because I never have to ask what’s wrong or if she’s ok she will just bust in and tell me exactly what’s going on. She’s the talker and I’m the listener, we work perfectly.

As if summoned, the door to our dorm flies open and in walks Lydia looking like she just came from a fashion show. I’ve never seen Lydia in a pair of sweats or a T-shirt, not even when she had the flu.

Truthfully, I am a little envious of my gorgeous roommate. Her blonde hair is always curled or straightened to perfection and she has bright green eyes. She’s tall, skinny, and her outfits always look like they should be in a magazine or a P*******t board or some shit like that.

I’m not exactly short but I wouldn’t say 5’5 is tall either. My hair and eyes are the same shade of dark brown and I fit more into the thick category of body types. My go to outfit is a pair of chucks or vans, leggings, and either a crop top or oversized T-shirt, it just depends on how I’m feeling that day.

“Viola..” Lydia says in almost an accusing tone. I spin around in my computer chair to face her. Her hip is popped and her arms are crossed over her chest.

“Yes?”

I already know why she’s looking at me like that. I promised her I would go to the end of year party with her tonight and she obviously hasn’t forgotten about it.

“Why aren’t you dressed?” She taps her foot impatiently

“Dressed for what?”

Maybe if I play dumb she will get irritated with me and just go alone. I really hate college parties, they are even worse than high school parties and the only reason I ever went to those was to make sure Landon and Kane got home safely.

“The party you promised me you would go to with me tonight”

I could just go for an hour and then leave. Lydia will have had a few drinks by then and won’t care if I’m there or not. She has tons of friends and I’m convinced she only wants me to go to parties with her because I don’t want to go.

“Right, I forgot. Let me just throw on a shirt and we can go.”

I grab a cropped Motley Crue shirt from my closet and put it on then slip into my trusty Vans. When I turn around Lydia looks disappointed, then annoyed, then comes acceptance. She is not a fan of how I dress but she knows better than to try to get me to wear one of her outfits.

She rolls her eyes and sighs. “Alright, let’s go”