What's Your Take?

The rain poured heavily.

Martin drank another bottle of wine, soliloquizing, "She doesn't need me as a husband. I am doing my best to fulfil her needs and I need to be appreciated for my effort. I bought her tv and cable and I can give her more but she doesn't need me as a husband."

I drank another bottle of wine, soliloquizing, "He doesn't cherish me as a wife, he needs to understand that I have feelings and he needs to respect them. I need care. I am tired of sharing my feelings and talking about my problems. I want time off, time to explore being myself, time to take care of myself. I blame him for our unhappiness. I feel the injustice of giving more of myself than I have received. He is lethargic, controlling, and unromantic."

After the intoxicated night and the blurting out words, I decided to confront my husband to make things work out between us.

"I suggest we see a marriage counsellor." I began.

"You must be kidding. So you expect me to tell a third party about our marriage. Am sorry to disappoint, it doesn't work out for me that way, a married couple is meant to sort out their differences amongst themselves."

"And what if their differences can't be sorted out amongst themselves."

"I wonder the kind of mentality you have, my parents didn't have to go to a third party to sort out their differences and I don't think yours did, yet they are happily married."

"Well, mine did and my mom learnt a lot, it worked for their marriage. This is the 21st century, this is what every couple that is having differences do now so why must ours be different."

"It is normal for every couple to fight, there is no big deal in it."

"There is. Since the first day I got married to you I haven't been happy, I haven't been loved like a woman, yet you don't just get anything I say."

"And what of me huh, you only make things about you, just you, and you never think of me or how I feel. The real problem is you and there is no need to seek a marriage counsellor. A real woman is subject to her husband's needs and wants, you're just full of complaints, am a good husband, I give you what you need, we dated so you know me right from the beginning yet you want to change me. No woman can change a man."

"You make me sick, I -"

"A woman is meant to show some respect to her husband or would you like me to start to hit you."

"Do you even love me? Because if you do you will never think of hitting me. Does a real man hit a woman?"

There came the silence, no response from him. If he was mulling over the questions trying to figure out the most correct or useful response I couldn't tell. I figured his silence to be interpreted as "I am not responding to you because I don't care about you and I am going to ignore you. What you have asked me is not important and therefore I am not responding." I began to even imagine the worst from his silence, "He hates me, he doesn't love me."

His silence made me feel so insecure, but just then he broke it by saying,

"I love you."

"I need romance."

"I love you but I can't then begin to lose and forget myself, cause romance robs me of my power as a man. It makes me lose my powerful self."

"You used to be so romantic in the past, you used to write me love poems, I guess marriage has changed you. Look, I don't want to continue like this."

"Then change." He said and left.

"I think wives are meant to sacrifice the most in marriage so I will sacrifice my happiness to make him happy." I soliloquized.