I loved the wrong man

Ruby

Asher’s words weren’t as painful as the look on his face as he walked out on me. It was pure disgust on his face and I couldn’t get over that.

This man called my husband really hates me and maybe Camila was right after all. I am here chasing after shadows in the name of love. He’s never going to love me, and maybe I’m going to waste the rest of my meaningful years hoping for something that will never come.

Asher stayed in the bathroom for a long time and all the while, I was on the bed, thinking about all he said and even the ones he didn’t say.

When he was finally done, and I heard his footsteps approaching, I quickly got into bed and pretended I was already sleeping.

I felt as his weight pulled into the bed and that only made it worse.

The fact that I was sleeping next to a man who hates me so much and only comes home every night just so he could hurl words at me hurts really bad.

I didn’t even know when tears started flowing down my face, but I tried to keep it as quiet as possible. I didn’t want him to know I was crying over what had happened. Of course, he wouldn’t console me, it would only give him more points to use against me in the morning or some other time. After all, I’m the one crying after getting the ring and the Camilla I called, the trashy mistress who should be down, is over there in the house he got for her, sleeping with so much peace.

I stood there crying silently until I couldn’t take it anymore, so I quietly stood up, grabbed my phone and went into the closet. Asher was already snoring and fast asleep with no worries in the world.

I was going to check if Ava was still awake so she could keep my company a bit, but the moment I swiped my phone open, the first notification I got was that of Brad.

My heart ached at the sight of his vibrant smile and I almost ignored it, but the post was too tempting to look away, so I clicked on it.

The next second, I was on his page and the first picture that popped up was that of him and a beautiful lady that I figured was his girlfriend. That was what I thought until I saw the wedding bands on their fingers.

My heart skipped a beat then, and I felt another stray tear wash down my face. It wasn’t out of jealousy or anything, it was out of what could have been.

Brad is one of my old friends from back then who had a massive crush on me. He was so in love with me and tried everything to be with me, but I was too busy giving all my heart to Asher to notice any other man.

I knew Brad in high school when he transferred to our school and right from the first time we locked eyes on his first day, he had his eyes on me.

He came to me after class and tried to spark a conversation which went well. We became friends and that was all it ever was to us. He tried to be something more, but I just wouldn’t allow it.

He didn’t give up and carried that love even into college. He would always try to get me on dates and all that, but my mind was made up and my gaze fixed on one man. Ava tried all she could do too, because she really liked him for me and would have preferred a million times that I got married to him and not Asher.

After a while, he stopped, and I think he got into a relationship then, but that didn’t last long, according to his model girlfriend who told the whole world about their breakup.

I think the breakup got to him then, because he went off the radar completely and for a year or two, I heard and knew nothing about him until some months into me getting back with Asher.

Asher and I weren’t back together formally then, but we were already working together on getting him and the company back on track. And I was so committed to that, that when Brad and I reconnected, I was too conscious to allow any distraction.

Asher and I had just finished a meeting that afternoon and I stepped aside to finally call back someone who had called a few times when we were in the meeting.

That person turned out to be Brad, and I was so happy to hear from him again. We agreed to catch up later and maybe get to meet. When I got back to Asher, he asked who it was and I just dismissed it. There was something about his countenance that showed he was indeed jealous and, my goodness, I felt on top of the world.

I felt so seen and wanted. I didn’t know it wasn’t love but just his arrogance.

Well, if I knew, I still wouldn't have given a dime. I guess I’m that pathetic and drunk in stupid love.

Brad called back later the next day, and we met over lunch the second day. He was so happy to see me and didn’t even waste any time before making his intentions known. He wanted to rekindle our friendship and with a bigger purpose this time.

Brad wanted to marry me.

I can remember how hard I laughed that day and then switched to blushing hard. I mean, it might not be the person I wanted, but still, a proposal is a proposal.

He wasn’t actually proposing though, not with a ring and the drama, but he would have done all that and even more if I hadn’t refused him that afternoon.

That day, just like today, I looked up and saw Asher sitting a few tables from us. He was staring at me with the deadliest jealousy in his eyes. And without thinking twice, I have a solid no.

Brad was still trying to convince me when Asher got to our table and ordered Brad to leave. I begged him to leave too, to avoid creating a scene.

Brad didn’t fight the disrespect, he just stood up with a broad smile and walked away. That was the last time I saw or heard from him until now, but he’s now a married man, away from my reach.

“How lucky you are…” I muttered under my breath while staring at the wife’s picture.

She’s indeed lucky because she got herself one of the best men out there. He’s going to worship the ground she walks on and love her dearly for the rest of her life.

Funny how we both got married at the same time and while they are out there having the time of their life on their beautiful honeymoon, I’m here crying silently in the closet after getting all the imaginable insults hurled at me by my husband.

That should have been me too, on my honeymoon, but I loved the wrong man.

“Ruby, admit it for once, you made the wrong choice. You’re in love with the wrong man.” I thought to myself and the tears started flowing again.

I dropped my phone, moved into the deep part of the closet where I knew my voice couldn’t get out, and then cried to my heart's fill.

Ohh, how I wish…