I STILL CAN NOT BELIEVE this is happening.
Yeah, it's obvious that she betrayed my trust, used and abused me, and manipulated and brainwashed me as well. But my mind's still trying to get the meaning of this. My heart and mind are conflicted.I'm her sister, her twin after all!I'm not lying when I say that I love her. It's not like there's a [stop loving] button I can push and whip the feeling I have for her. That's why it hurts so bad.That doesn't mean I'm not angry. That doesn't make me stop wanting to kill her. Cuz I am furious. I want to scream and beat the shit out of her. But my love for her is still here.She always had people's attention and love, while I didn't. She was loved by our parents in a way I never was, but I was happy to see her being loved, especially because I knew how much it hurts to not have my parents' affection. I was already bad when I was a kid, but she wanted to see it? What's wrong with her?Did she hit her head when she was born or something like that?And to be honest, she was right in one thing. I, really, never thought she would ever harm me. She was the person I carried the most besides my younger brother.I wanted to see her smile, to see her happy just because she was who she was, the blood of my blood... But she architected my destruction since we were kids, she deeply hated me for being me!Never crossed my mind how fucking heartless Dalilah could be. Though I never realized how foolish I was either.All I wanted to do now is talk back, but couldn't do this, once they cut my tongue off for the lies she made me tell. But again, no one would believe in me if I could speak right now either. They never did! Why would it be different now?Humans are always searching for a target, someone they could hate and gossip about. A person to blame for all of their problems. And right now, that person is me.I, indeed, am mainly being accused of murdering my older brother, who became the Grand Duke after my father's death (which I am also to blame for, thanks to Dalilah). But that's not the only reason. I wouldn't be having such a grand and public execution in front of the Imperial Palace just for that.They discovered that I was the one who killed all those Princess and other nobles and innocents, which led them to believe that I was the one who caused the war, just like th prophecy my grandmother saw the night I and Dalilah were born. And when the other Kingdoms heard about that, they all asked for my death, for a piece of me. That's probably one of the reasons why I was dismembered, as well as to the 3rd Imperial Prince's pleasure.And before I thought he had told them about what I did, because my sister, him, Octavian, and the late Empress, were the only ones who knew, once they were all on Dalilah's side, backing her. Especially because I killed Octavian, and the current Emperor, Joshua Caspien, killed his mother about a week before I murdered my brother. So it could only be Christopher or my twin.Now I see that it was all part of her plans. And that she was probably the one who told them all about it with him. Bringing me to where I am now.Fuck-What power would the 'Villainess' claim have in front of the 'Saintess's? None! They would probably torture me a little more and make my death an even painful and bigger event, by claiming that I was trying to accuse the 3rd Imperial Prince's wife, of such a hideous crime.Dalilah made me kill our parents and our younger brother. H-how could I've done something like that? How could I do that to Val?What the fuck is wrong with me? Why hadn't I regained my consciousness back then? Why wasn't I strong enough to fight back? To resist her manipulations?Valerian... my dear younger brother who was always by my side and not hers. He may not have believed me when I said I had been born with magic, be he still was there with me. Picking fights with the people who said something ill-intended about me.How could I do something like that to him? He trusted and loved me more than anyone in the world, and what did I do about that? I did to him exactly what Dalilah is doing to me now, but different from her, I cut his throat with my own hands.Worst of all, he was only fifteen when she made me do that. He was still a kid.I may love Dalilah, but I always loved Val more. And just that is enough to make me start to truly hate her. Because Valerian was a precious and strong kid, who saw her true colors sooner than everyone. He tried to tell me, but I always fought with him because of it.Damn, I was so stupid. So dumb. I should have listened to him, because he never lied to me. But I was so blind.She made me the fucking villainess of this story!Still holding my jaw in a hard grip with her delicate hands she gave me the most despicable smile I have ever seen, "See you in hell, dear sister!" Dalilah moved away and gave a signal for the executioner.I could only see his deep ruby-red eyes shining bright, and I felt his gaze piercing my soul. But it was strangely familiar and warm, even tho I'd never seen such eyes in my abhorrent life. At least, I don't believe I did.Oh, fuck Dalilah! Fuck everyone! I don't want to die here.I don't want to die today...I don't want to die now...I don't want to die!Please, if there are really a Godly being out there, give me another chance. If Mikla, the Goddess of Death, truly exists, give me another chance. Don't let me go to your domain just yet!Just one more chance and I swear I'll do everything better, just, please, Goddess don't let me die like this. Let me repent. Let me do it again. I'll do better.Please!I know I did malefic things and I'm deeply sorry. I, truly, am! And I won't say that it was only Dalilah's fault, once I was the one who did it. She may have been the one controlling me, but I was her dagger, and it's the dagger that makes others bleed. But it wasn't my true self. So, please do not let me die here.I want to live! I'll do everything in my power to make it right this time.Just give me one more chance.Only one, nothing more.After I do what I have to do you can come to claim my tainted soul, Goddess. I don't even care if I have a horrible death after I get back at them. Just, please, I'm begging you, save me.Save me, so I can save those who died by my hands. So I can save Valerian and my parents.It doesn't need to be the Goddess if she doesn't exist. Just... someone save me, please. Spare my life just this once.I DON'T HAVE MORE TIME, so, please, I know I shouldn't ask this after every life my hands ended... but I can't help it. So, I'm asking for a second chance. One more chance and I'll do it differently. I swear I will.Let me do it right, just give me another chance. I'm begging you, Mikla! Or whoever has the power to grant me this last wish-I'm so scared of death... And I know I shouldn't be when I became so familiar with her, but I fucking am. I don't find my death attractive at all. It scares me more than anything.As I saw Dalilah going back to Christopher's side, I finally let the tears fall, falling them and getting mixed with the blood on my face.When I turned to meet the cold and shining ruby-red eyes of the executioner under his pitch-black helmet, I saw the ax dangerously close to my precious neck. He held it higher. And when he was about to behead me, I swear that I sensed him smiling at me.Not only that, but by the look in his eyes, he seemed amused by what he was goi
AS EXPECTED, NO ONE CAME IN. I thought someone would come, once I screamed when I woke up here, but I was wrong. Although it's not a surprise, because there were just a handful amount of people on my side. Valerian, of course, is who cares the most for me. After him, there's Asher and Sir Thorin Meelany, my disciple-brother and my swordsmanship master, respectively. Then comes Katherine, my nanny, and personal maid, who takes care of me as if she was my mother. Lastly, the head butler Leon and the kitchen's head chef, Yoostaf.Oh, there's also my naive father, Grand Duke Gilbert, though he's a complicated matter. He does care for me, but not as much as he does for my siblings, besides, he's always manipulated by my mother, Grand Duchess Cleo, because she keeps using his love for her to let her do anything she wants to. And even knowing that I'm not his favorite neither close to that, just the fact that he loved me at least a little bit was always enough for me.Stupid, isn't it? But
WHEN I WAS ABOUT TO OPEN THE DOORS I stopped and took a few steps back, waiting. And when I recognized the aura of the person coming in, I hugged her the moment she set her foot inside. Catching her by surprise."Are you alright, Your Royal Highness?" Damn, why is she still using those honorifics with me at this point? "Did you have a nightmare?""Ah, Kate, I did… The worst and longest nightmare of my whole existence," and living like that was indeed a damn nightmare. "I thought I would never wake up," and that almost happened, seeing how I died back there.For Mikla's sake, it gives me goosebumps just thinking about what I felt when the ruby-red-eyed executioner was beheading me. I took three steps away from Kate and passed my hands on my neck, swallowing hard.Fuck… I don't want to go through that again! Not again. And for me not to have my beautiful head separated from my precious neck, I can't let myself get caught when I kill the important people who did that to me. Because I
I RESTED MY HANDS ON HER SHOULDERS, "Come on, I'm not pranking you, Kate. I mean every word I've said."It's embarrassing that she thought I was joking about this, about not believing in my twin anymore. Damn, I can't even imagine how Val will react, especially after we fought so many times because of it. Although I am, honestly, looking forward to his reaction.Will he get happy?Or won't he believe in me like Kate doesn't?"What?" She touched my forehead with both of her hands, twice. "But you don't have a fever!""Ha ha ha, you are so funny, oh my Goddess," I exclaimed sarcastically, and Kate rolled her eyes. "Believe in me, Kate! I'm telling the truth."Sigh. "It's just that you've protected her so many times to the point where you've even quarreled with Prince Valerian when he tried bringing that up… Even I tried talking to you about it before," I was dumb to not listen to any of them.If I had trusted their words back there, maybe things wouldn't have turned upside down a
WHEN I WAS ABOUT TO GO DOWN THE STAIRS, I met Sir Leon, the head butler, who to my luck is also on my side. Realizing that he seemed to want to say something to me, I stopped midway and waited for him to reach me. When he did, he bowed respectfully and kissed the back of my gloved hand."Your Royal Highness," then his dark-green eyes met my golden eyes again. It's been so long since I last saw him because after my parents' death he went to the Mage's Tower and never came back. So I had forgotten how grateful he looked with those eyes, olive skin, and his shoulder-length wavy black hair. "Did you have a good night of sleep, Princess?" Oh, and his kind voice too.I greeted him back. "Yes, Sir Leon," it was a lie, of course. But he doesn't need to know that. And I don't want to start explaining any of that again. "You seem to want to speak with me about something," he nodded. "What's the matter?""Her Ladyship, Viscountess Chelsea Meelany," Sir Thorin's older sister, who's me and my s
"WHAT? DID THEY STARVE YOU FOR A WHOLE MONTH? How dare they do this to my daughter?" Dad yelled, shocked, and got up.Fuck. Look at what I have done. I need to control my mouth or I'm going to get in trouble."No, dad. Don't worry. No one dared to starve me. None of them have such an obvious death wish," he sat down again, still confused. "I was just thinking out loud. I didn't starve, I just felt like that because I woke up so hungry." He sighed.Val stared at me as if he didn't believe a word I said and knew I was lying. "For Mikla's sake, Tasha, don't scare me like that! I can't even imagine what I would do if anyone dared to harm or starve any of my children," I sided-looked at my mother, and she gazed back at me arrogantly, but I could see how she gulped at my father's words.And again, Val noticed that too. Although he didn't say a word about it. "What kind of dream did you have that made you wake up so hungry, Tasha?" Ha, you don't want to know that."I starved for about a
ANOTHER GOAL I NEED TO ACCOMPLISH is to make my dad choose an archery tutor for me as fast as possible, because back in my previous life he only had this idea about four months from now, claiming that once I had already mastered swordsmanship, I should try mastering the bow and arrow. And although I was outstanding in fighting with literally all weapons before I died, I am not sure if I can perform just as well in this body as I could in my twenty-seven-year-old one. And especially if that's possible, I will need an excuse for my archery skills. Because I don't think they would believe in me if I said that I learned that in a dream.Moreover, the reason for me to 'learn' archery, is because I always had the desire to kill the 3rd Imperial Prince using his weapon, and once I couldn't do that in the 1st timeline, I'll do the impossible to kill that fucker if needed. And he will pay for having tortured me.I still remember vividly the sensation of him taking my eyes out, the pain. How
"OH, THAT'S TRUE. I DID CHOOSE HIM ALREADY, but I think everyone knows about that," Octavian rolled his eyes and Val nodded."It's that annoying boy that dad and the Captain took under their wing, Isn't it? So predictable," he spoke full of sarcasm."Asher is a great kid, very skilled for his age, and one of the youngest kids to become a Knight in the Empire's history," father spoke with a proud smile. "I and Thorin both taught him well," now he's overestimating himself.Ash was taught by almost Sir Thorin alone. My father just gave him protection by announcing that he was his apprentice. But if he never had enough time for his children, imagine for his apprentice."You should be more like him, Tavian," brother got bright red in anger and both me and Val smiled at his reaction. "He always takes his duties seriously, is clever and skilled." Dad turned to meet his eyes, making it impossible for him to look away. "Maybe if you had spent more time with him, you would be as skillful in