Once His Mate, Now His Regret

The sound of water running put an ease on my worries. I could smell myself and Matthias on the sheets. He was taking his usual after sex shower, while I lay here. I moved around on the bed, feeling more giddy than I’d been in days. Maybe months.

This was one of the only times when I could pretend he was truly my husband. That’s strange to say, seeing as I wear a ring that legally binds us together. We live in the same house and all that. But if I’ve learned anything, it’s that none of those things make you husband and wife. 

But in this moment, after he and I have connected physically, this is when I feel like a true wife. 

Although this isn’t the only reason for the huge smile on my face. Part of this smile is attributed to something even better. Something that I think will break the walls he’s put between us. I know it will. 

My period’s been late. And I’m never late. I was worried, that’s why I decided to take a pregnancy test, and boy, oh boy, did I get the most amazing news. Matthias will lose his mind when he finds out he’s going to be a dad. He loves children. 

And so do I. Part of my dream is to be a mother. I just can’t wait. I honestly can’t wait to tell him. 

He’s always careful. We always use a condom, another strange thing for a married couple. I found myself sighing. One night, about a month or so ago, he’d been drunk. And he wanted me. He wanted me badly, he hadn’t even thought to use protection. That must have been when it happened. 

A drunk Matthias is a rare occurrence. He’s not a big drinker. Still, that night had given us this. This bundle is growing inside of me. 

You see, we’ve been together for three years. I’m using the word together very loosely because I’m practically a roommate he tolerates and fucks. Our relationship was born out of an inconvenience, a coincidence, and a souring mating bond. 

That’s my long way of saying our parents made the decision, and we had no choice but to follow. I had no choice, and Matthias... well, I’ll never really know his real reasons for agreeing to this marriage.

His parents say it’s because of the pack rules. A pack leader needs a beta, or a luna. Sometimes they have both. With me being the daughter of the former betas of the pack, it seemed only fair that we connect. Even though he was madly in love with someone else.

That’s where the souring mating bond comes in. Matt’s mate isn’t me. God, I wish it were. I would have been over the moon. I would be as happy as I am right now, only every single hour for every single day.

Unfortunately, his mate happens to be Nerissa. Yes, that pretty name belongs to my adopted sister. He planned on marrying Nerissa, I mean, she’s not biologically connected to my family, but they raised her as one of theirs, and his love for her was always so bright. 

Sadly, on a trip she insisted I take with her, we got into an accident. I walked off with minor injuries and Nerissa.... well, Nerissa is dead. It aches my heart, mostly because everyone blames me for it. I can’t even explain what caused the accident. Her body was never found, but it was clear from the damage that there was no way she would have survived. 

So Matthias had to settle for me. And although my wolf feels a strong bond to him, he doesn’t feel the same. 

It’s rare for someone to be mated to an already fated person, but my life has proven that the impossible can happen. 

Well, that will change soon. He’s sure to love me when he finds out we’re going to be parents. 

I was lost in my thoughts when the bathroom opened. I turned my head around to see Matthias in all his gorgeous glory stepping out. He had a towel around his waist, water trickling down his gorgeous skin. His black hair stuck to the corners of his face. My eyes drifted to his abs, signs of a well-hardened alpha. 

Matt frowned, eyeing me with disdain. “Why are you still here?”

My fog of lust and happiness fizzled out. I sat up immediately, tossing the covers off and reaching for the night gown.

“I’m so sorry. I was just leaving,” I told myself, not to sound so frightened. We’ve been together for three years, and I was never allowed to sleep in his bed. I’ve got my own room. On the first floor, far away from his. 

I had just tugged my gown on when his strong hand grabbed onto my wrist. 

“Why on earth are you wearing pink?” He cocked up one eyebrow. That was a telling sign that I’d crossed a line. 

My heart pounded hard in my chest. “Don’t you like it? I remember you saying you liked silk, and brightly colored-”

His eyes got darker. “It’s disgusting on you. When I said that, I was referring to Nerissa. I love silk on her. I love pink on her. It’s her favorite color, and you have the nerve-” He ground his teeth, squeezing down on my wrist. 

I bit back a scream. “I’m sorry. I didn’t-”

Before I could complete my words, he tore the fabric off my skin, sending chills and cold air whipping up my spine. I attempted to cover myself with one hand, telling myself not to cry.

“It’s bad enough that you took her from me. Now you’re wearing her favorite color?” He growled, and I tried to beg. “You need to be punished.”