Love Me Not

“James, what the hell was that?” Casey shouted, but almost immediately lowered her voice. She looked at me with wide eyes, like she had just witnessed the biggest secret in the history of the world. “Was Keegan caressing you? What the actual fuck, Brees?”

Her shocked expression quickly turned into a huge, knowing smile.

“Stop it, Casey.” I rolled my eyes, even though I could feel my face getting hot. “There is nothing there. We romanticize things way too much and then get our feelings hurt. Let it go.”

But Casey wasn’t letting it go.

Of course she wasn’t.

She just sat there staring at me with that ridiculous smile plastered across her face. Her eyes were practically sparkling, and honestly, it was a little creepy.

“Case, put on a movie and stop it,” I said, laughing as I grabbed a pillow and threw it at her.

She caught it against her chest and laughed. “You can pretend all you want, but I saw what I saw.”

“You saw nothing.”

“I saw everything.”

“You’re delusional.”

“I’m observant.”

“You’re nosy.”

“That too.”

I shook my head and reached for another pillow, but Casey held up her hands in surrender.

“Okay, okay. I’ll stop.”

I narrowed my eyes at her. “Really?”

“No.”

I groaned.

She laughed and finally grabbed the remote, scrolling through the movies on the screen. For a few seconds, I thought she had actually dropped it.

Then she spoke.

“All I know is when you fell, Brees…”

Her voice changed.

The teasing disappeared, and suddenly she sounded serious.

I looked over at her.

“When you fell, Keegan jumped up and grabbed you. He was freaking out. His voice was literally shaking when he called out for help.” She paused, looking at me carefully. “He carried you all the way to the car, Brees. And then he demanded to sit with you because he wanted to make sure you were safe.”

I swallowed.

I hadn’t really thought about it that way.

At the time, everything had happened so fast. One second I was fine, and the next I was on the ground with Keegan’s arms around me, his voice in my ear, asking if I was okay.

But Casey had noticed everything.

“He didn’t even look back for Jada,” she added.

My stomach flipped.

“Casey…”

“No, seriously.” She pointed the remote at me. “Think about that. Jada was right there. His girlfriend, or whatever she is to him, was right there, and he didn’t even turn around. He went straight to you.”

I stared at the ceiling.

“He was probably just scared,” I whispered.

“Maybe.”

“That’s all it was.”

“Maybe.”

I looked at her. “Why do you keep saying maybe?”

“Because I wasn’t the one holding you.”

I rolled my eyes, but my heart was pounding.

Casey turned back toward the television and snuggled herself lower into my bed. “You know what I think?”

“I’m afraid to ask.”

“I think Keegan cares about you more than he wants anyone to know.”

I didn’t answer.

Because the truth was, a tiny part of me wondered the same thing.

Keegan and I had always been close. He was my best friend. My person. The one I could joke with about absolutely anything. The one who knew when something was wrong even when I didn’t say a word.

But lately…

Something felt different.

Or maybe I was just imagining it because I wanted it to be different.

That was the problem.

I had spent so much time convincing myself that there was nothing between us because admitting that I wanted there to be something was terrifying.

What if I was wrong?

What if Keegan didn’t feel the same way?

What if I told him how I felt and everything changed?

I couldn’t lose him.

I would rather keep him as my best friend than risk having him disappear from my life completely.

“Brees?”

I looked over at Casey.

“What?”

“You’re doing it again.”

“Doing what?”

“Thinking.”

“I think all the time.”

“Not like this.” She smiled. “You’re thinking about Keegan.”

I grabbed the pillow and covered my face.

“Go to sleep, Casey.”

She laughed. “That’s what I thought.”

Eventually, the room grew quiet except for the movie playing softly in the background. Casey fell asleep beside me, but sleep wouldn’t come for me.

I stared into the darkness.

Did Keegan love me?

Did he even like me?

Was Casey right?

My mind kept replaying the moment over and over.

Keegan jumping up.

Keegan grabbing me.

Keegan’s shaking voice.

Keegan carrying me to the car.

Keegan refusing to leave me.

And then there was the part I couldn’t stop thinking about.

He didn’t even look back for Jada.

My heart started beating faster.

I pulled the blanket closer to my chin and smiled despite myself.

“Oh my gosh,” I whispered into the darkness.

Could Keegan Patts actually love me back?

The thought made my stomach twist in the best possible way.

For the first time, I let myself imagine what it would be like if Casey was right.

Maybe Keegan wasn’t just my brother’s best friend.

Maybe he’d been trying to tell me something all along.

And maybe…

Just maybe…

Keegan Patts did love me after all.