Stupid Flowers

(Keegan’s point of view)

I was in a good mood.

A really good mood.

Which was unusual lately.

I had spent the entire drive to Brees’s house thinking about her. Thinking about seeing her. Thinking about how I could convince Baylen to let me stay a little longer after I dropped something off.

I hadn’t even figured out what I was going to say when I saw her.

I just wanted to see her. Wanted to make sure she was okay after being hit in the head last night.

That was becoming a problem.

I pulled into the driveway and grabbed the small bag I’d brought with me. I was halfway to the front door when I noticed the delivery sitting on the porch.

Flowers.

A huge arrangement.

Pink and white roses wrapped in paper, with a little card tucked between them.

I stopped.

My smile disappeared.

I stared at them for a second longer than I should have.

Then I looked at the card.

Brees.

My stomach dropped.

There was another name underneath.

“From Jeff.”

Of course.

Jeff.

I knew exactly who Jeff was before they got cozy last night.

I’d seen the way he looked at her.

I’d seen the way Brees smiled at him.

And now he was sending her flowers.

I picked up the arrangement before I could talk myself out of it.

For a second, I actually considered turning around and leaving.

That would have been easier.

I didn’t want to walk into that house carrying another guy’s flowers for the girl I wasn’t supposed to want.

But I also didn’t want Jeff getting credit for them.

So I walked inside.

“Hey!” Brees’ mom called from somewhere in the kitchen. “Keegan!”

“Hey, Missy.”

I forced my voice to sound normal.

She came around the corner and smiled when she saw me.

“Oh, you’re here to see Brees?”

“Yeah.”

Then she noticed the flowers.

Her eyebrows lifted.

“Oh, those must be for Brees.”

“Yeah.”

I tried to smile.

It probably looked more like a grimace.

She didn’t notice.

“She’s in the kitchen I think.”

“Thanks.”

I headed that way and I could hear Baylen laughing at something but I didn’t hear HER.

Every step made me more irritated.

Not at Brees.

Not really.

At Jeff.

At myself.

At the fact that I cared.

“Hey brother,” Baylen called as I reached the kitchen.

I sat on a stool near him and set the bag down that I had brought. I put the flowers on the counter.

Baylen looked at the flowers and then back and me. His eyebrows furrowed a bit.

“Um, you got my sister flowers?” He asked, pushing one of the buds with his finger.

I shook my head as I ate a piece of bacon from the spread Missy had set up.

“Nah, those are from that Jeff kid.”

She and Casey walked into the kitchen as I finished my sentence. I instinctively grabbed the flowers.

I’m not sure why I did. That was stupid of me.

I saw her eyes when she noticed I was holding flowers. I knew she thought they were from me. They should have been. Why didn’t I get her flowers?

“Are those for me Kee?” She asked with her innocent eyes fixed on me.

Her hair was in a messy bun and she had on a shirt that was two sizes too big, so it showed off her beautifully tanned shoulder.

“Yeah, they are not from me. They were outside when I got here.”

She took the flowers and when she read the card my heart sank.

When I reached her room, I could hear voices inside.

Casey.

I knocked.

“Come in!”

I opened the door.

Brees looked up.

Her face immediately lit up.

And just like that, some of the anger inside me disappeared.

“Keegan!”

There it was.

That smile.

The one that made it impossible for me to stay mad.

I held up the flowers.

“These came for you.”

Her eyes widened.

“What?”

I handed them over.

She took them carefully, looking at the card.

“Jeff?”

I shrugged.

“Apparently.”

She looked at Casey.

Casey’s eyes went wide.

“Oh my gosh.”

Brees’s cheeks turned pink.

I hated that.

I hated seeing her blush because of another guy.

Casey grabbed Brees’s arm.

“Come on.”

“Where are we going?”

“We need to talk.”

“About what?”

“Jeff!”

Brees laughed.

Then Casey pulled her toward the hallway.

“Wait—”

“Nope. Come on.”

After a few moments, I made my way upstairs to her room.

I knocked and waited with anticipation that nagged at me.

She answered with her adorable smile.

“So,” I said casually, leaning against the doorframe, “I guess Jeff’s getting brave.”

Brees looked at me.

“What do you mean?”

“Nothing.”

I smiled.

That was what I was good at.

Pretending.

Pretending everything was fine.

Pretending I didn’t care.

Pretending the flowers didn’t bother me.

I looked around.

Her room smelled like her.

“How are you feeling after last night? You gave us all quite a scare l, Squirt.”

My eyes were burning from trying not to look at her. If I did I felt like tears would fall.

This was ridiculous.

Why did I care so much?

She wasn’t mine.

She had never been mine.

And she never would be.

I’d promised Baylen.

I had Jada.

Brees had every right to get flowers from whoever she wanted.

So why did I feel like someone had punched me in the chest?

And then she asked the question I had been hoping she wouldn’t.

“Would you be okay if Jeff came to your birthday party?”

I looked at her.

There it was.

Another test.

I swallowed.

“Yeah.”

She smiled.

“Really?”

“Yeah, Brees.”

I forced myself to smile.

“I’ll be fine.”

I wouldn’t.

Not even close.

But she’d never know that.

She walked closer.

“Thanks, Kee.”

That nickname.

The way she said it.

It nearly broke me.

I reached out and gently touched the top of her head.

“Always, Squirt.”

It was what I always did.

What I’d always done.

I leaned down and pressed a kiss to her forehead.

Her eyes closed for just a second.

And mine did too.

Because if I looked at her any longer, I wasn’t sure I’d be able to keep pretending.

I pulled away.

“See you at school?”

She smiled.

“Of course.”

I smiled back.

Then I walked toward the door.

Before I left, I glanced at the flowers sitting on her desk.

Pink and white roses.

From Jeff.

I looked at Brees one last time.

She was still smiling at me.

And somehow that made everything worse.

Because I wanted to be the one bringing her flowers.

I wanted to be the one asking her to homecoming.

I wanted to be the one she looked at like that.

But I couldn’t.

Not with Baylen.

Not with Jada.

Not after everything I’d promised.

So I walked out of her room pretending I was okay.

Pretending Jeff didn’t bother me.

Pretending the flowers didn’t matter.

Pretending I hadn’t just kissed the forehead of the girl I was slowly realizing I was falling in love with.