Chapter 62

My biggest concern was talking to Jagger before she headed back to Texas. She agreed to come to my house this afternoon so we could talk.

The doorbell rang and my stomach dropped. I was so nervous to see her. I opened the door and she was standing there with a huge smile. She hugged me and let herself in.

“Oh, hey Jag,” I said, with noticeable surprise.

“Hey Brees, it’s so good to see you,” she said, “not embracing Keegan that is.”

There it was. I knew she was angry and she was hiding it through our texts this morning.

“Let me explain Jagger,” I said, holding her hand.

“Yeah, that would be nice,” she said, allowing me to still hold her hand.

We sat on the couch. I looked her over quickly. Her hair was in messy waves and falling down her back and around her shoulders. She had sunglasses pushing it back. Her oversized sweatshirt hung off of one shoulder and she had on ripped jeans. She was truly stunning.

“Jag, I know you and I have had so much fun together the last few months. I don’t ever want to take that for granted. But we weren’t exclusive right?” I asked, looking down at her hands.

“No, we weren’t. But I guess I just thought you and I were getting closer and after the other night at my house, you made it seem like we were going to be exclusive. I really had hoped we could have a chance at love. I mean…” she said, moving closer to me. “I am in love with you. I told you that. I even had my dad agree to let me attend your high school starting January 8. Now what am I going to do?” she asked, biting her lip to stifle a cry.

I couldn’t believe I was hurting her like this. I cupped her face in my hands.

“I have love for you too Jagger. I’m just in love with Keegan. You mean so much to me. You have to know that. I really tried to push my feelings aside for him and focus on you,” I said, pressing my forehead to hers.

We sat like that for a while. Inhaling and taking in one another’s essence. She wiped tears off of her cheek and laughed.

“I can only laugh, Brees. I knew this was going to happen. My friends back home said, she is a straight girl experimenting, she won’t ever love you. I told them all they were crazy; they were jealous. But turns out what they were, was right,” she said, sitting back.

I didn’t know what to say. I had never been with a girl besides Jagger, but it didn’t feel experimental. I had real feelings for her. They just weren’t as strong as my feelings for Keegan. My heart was breaking a little, seeing that we had come to an end.

Jagger got up from the couch and I followed her to the door.

“I really did love you Brees,” she said, kissing my cheek. “I’ll see you around I guess.”

As she walked away, I wished there was something that I could do to make this better. But there wasn’t. I had to close this chapter in my life and move on. I was having dinner with my family and Keegan’s tonight. He and I needed to discuss our relationship status before then though so we could be a united front.