It's Wednesday and it's just the second official day of our deception. While I think it's still cringe, I also think it's quite effective.The entire day yesterday, even if I know Charles is just a few classrooms away from me, he did not come to see me. Noon kasi, lagi siyang dumadaan para magpapansin sa akin, kausapin ako, and all sorts of things he can do to make his appearance be known.Right then, I thought it was a red flag. Ilang beses ko na kasi talaga siyang tinanggihan and even explained myself, but he really can't understand or maybe he does, but he chose not to understand me. The thought of him being overly persistent is bothering me and giving me the creeps.Zandrey and I agreed on this deception to happen only in school, or wherever and whenever we need to. Pero itong isa, kahit walang taong nakatingin, sige pa rin.Just like now.I just woke up and when I got my phone to check it, a notification which says he sent me a message was the first thing I noticed.Good morning!
There were multiple texts from Zandrey when I opened my phone after that particular class. Pero hindi ko muna binuksan and just headed straight to my next class. Pagkatapos nito, bakante na ako so I can go and meet him, before I have lunch with Daisy. Pagkalipat sa next class ay siniguro kong mukha akong busy para hindi makalapit sa akin si Risa. I'm still not ready to continue whatever we talked about earlier. Kapag talaga itong si Zandrey may sabit tapos pa-offer-offer pa na magpanggap na boyfriend ko para layuan ako ni Charles... I will really kick him in the balls! Nadadamay pa ako eh. While the class was going on, I tried to listen as intently as I can. Kaso iyong utak ko ayaw talaga mag-concentrate at kung saan-saan napapadpad. Buti na lang nakapag-d******d na ako ng advance slides at nasilip ko na kanina ang magiging lessons ngayon kaya medyo hindi na ako nag-alala. Hindi naman siguro magpapa-surprise quiz itong si Prof. Hopefully... Kaso hindi talaga sang-ayon sa akin ang
I received a text from Daisy telling me she's at the the new cafe near gate 2. So after talking to Zandrey, doon agad ako dumiretso kasi may klase pa ako.I don't have any idea what it is that she's going to tell me. I don't know if it's that important, but I went anyway. Daisy's stories sometimes keep me sane. Sa dami ng stress ko sa buhay, from school stuff to personal life, I was glad to have someone like her who makes me forget those things. Kasi kung hindi, I might have gone crazy.The moment I got to the cafe, nakita ko siyang kumakaway sa akin, that's why it was easy for me to spot her. She was sitting at a corner.Habang papalapit sa kanya, I look around the place. Okay naman. The ambiance was okay, and there's just a few people. Siguro kasi bago pa at hindi pa masyadong kilala."Bakit nakangiting-aso ka na naman?" I asked as I sat on the chair in front of her. Ang laki kasi ng ngiti niya na para bang hindi maalis-alis."Hindi kasi ako stressed," she replied."Good for you," I
"How did you know I was there?" I asked.When we got out of the building, I almost fell to the ground because my knees were so weak. Kinailangan niya pa akong alalayan para maupo ako sa bench malapit sa entrance.It's indeed already dark. May mga estudyante pa pero kokonti na lang. When I looked up, marami nang bituin sa langit. It would be nice to just look up and watch them twinkling. But I couldn't shake the fear off from what happened just a while ago. Kung hindi dumating si Zandrey, I couldn't imagine what could've happened."I tried reaching you but you were not answering," he replied. "So I asked Daisy and she told me you're probably still in class. So I went there," he added."Bakit mo 'ko pinuntahan?""I was gonna ask about dinner," he replied. "You didn't reply to my texts," he added.I nodded, still looking up above."Are you okay?""I wasn't until you came."This time, I looked at him and tried to smile. But as I smiled, the tears fell. They were inevitable. I was holding
Siguro kung may nakatingin ngayon sa akin, iisipin niyang ang laki ng problema ko sa buhay dahil sa haggard at sa laki ng eyebags ko. I know and I can see it because I'm staring at myself through the mirror.And I don't like what I'm seeing.Gulo-gulo ang buhok ko. Halata sa mukha kong hindi ako nakatulog nang maayos kagabi. How could I ever sleep when that kiss kept on coming back to my mind?Kung dati, nagwo-worry akong hindi ako tigilan ni Charles, ngayon nag-aalala akong baka hindi na mawala sa isip ko ang nangyari kagabi. Hindi ko alam kung may mukhang maihaharap pa ako kay Zandrey.Malandi na ba ako kapag ganoon? Pero kasi! I know I don't have any reference as to how it should feel but at that moment, I just knew it felt so good. I never kissed anyone and I never thought it would feel like that. I thought it was gross and disgusting and whatever because hello? You're exchanging saliva with other people! I was so conscious about even touching someone else's saliva before and now
I've heard people confess to me before- saying they like me and that they want to court me. Upon hearing those confessions, I instantly said 'no' because I know all too well that I don't feel the same towards them at ayokong sayangin nila ang oras nila sa akin.All those times, I thought I was incapable of liking someone.But then here's Zandrey telling me he kissed me because he likes me.And I don't know what to say. I don't know how to comprehend my feelings.Gusto ko rin ba siya? Are the feelings mutual?I'm not sure."You're not required to say anything, Ai," he said. "I just wanted to tell you because I don't want to keep things from you. I want to be honest with you."Okay. Anong isasagot ko dito?I heard him heave a sigh. "Now it feels lighter now that it's out."Paano naman ako? I don't know what to say!Sumandal siya sa upuan, his arms stretched out in front of him. Napatingin ako doon and can't help but admire his arms. God, I'm in a serious situation and now I'm admiring
The next morning, I woke up to my phone ringing. My eyes were still closed when I reached for it."Hello?" I mumbled, my voice a little hoarse."Airaleen."My eyes automatically opened upon hearing the voice from the other line. Parang nagising ang buong pagkatao ko when I realized who it was."Dad!"My father doesn't usually call, but when he does, I know it's important."Come home today," he said."Okay," I quickly replied. May mga kailangan akong gawin but when Dad says something, I always follow. If not, it will piss him off. And I don't want that.Iyon lang ang sinabi niya and the phone call ended.I already said yes so I just got up. Daisy's still sleeping beside me and I don't want to wake her up. Hinayaan ko na lang. She knows her way out when she wakes up and she already know what to do. Lagi naman siyang nakakatulog dito at madalas ko ring maiwan kapag may kailangan akong puntahan. I'll just leave a note where I'm off to.Nang matapos akong maligo at mag-ayos, tulog pa siya
When Daisy and I were still in high school, we had another friend named Trina. She was a transferee. Her parents move from one place to another so frequently that she doesn't get to stay in a school for a whole academic year.I was never the friendly one, but Daisy is. She and Trina got so close, and since we're always together, I also became close with her. We would eat lunch together, hang out after class, and I even tutor them when needed.We were friends for about three months when she told us that they're moving again. Daisy and I were devastated. Pero wala naman kaming magagawa kaya tinanggap na lang namin. But Daisy being Daisy, she suggested we should hang out one last time before she goes away. We decided to go on a picnic- the location, the day and time, the food we will bring, all were planned. All were ready. But on the day that we were supposed to meet, I didn't show up.I was never good at goodbyes. I knew that. Maybe it was a result of my mom being gone when I was at a