ANMELDENThe rink was louder than I'd ever heard it.Every seat filled. Standing room packed three deep along the glass. The student section a wall of noise – painted faces, painted bodies, homemade signs, the kind of energy that vibrated through the building like a heartbeat. This wasn't a regular game. This was the championship first round and Thornfield hadn't made it this far in six years and the entire campus had shown up to watch.I was in the fourth row. His jersey on my back. MADDOX across my shoulders. Sienna on my left, Zara on my right, both of them pretending to understand hockey and failing beautifully."Which one is Rhys?" Zara asked."Number seventeen. The one who looks like he wants to kill everyone on the ice.""That narrows it down to about half the team.""The tall one.""They're all tall, Naomi. They're hockey players."The whistle blew and none of it mattered anymore because Rhys hit the ice and the building shifted.I'd watched him play dozens of times. Practice, scrimmag
I could see him unraveling.Not all at once – Rhys didn't unravel like that. He came apart in increments. A harder check at practice. A longer silence at dinner. The way his hands gripped the steering wheel like he was choking something when he drove me home. The way he'd started sleeping with his jaw clenched, grinding his teeth through dreams he wouldn't tell me about. Elena's letter on the counter. Richard's calls going to voicemail. Miles not texting back. Caleb's name in my brother's phone like a splinter I couldn't reach. The championship two weeks out and the pressure building behind his eyes like something with a timer.He was losing control. Every area, every direction. The ice, his family, his anger, the invisible war being waged against us by a man patient enough to use a thirteen-year-old as a weapon. Rhys was white-knuckling his way through every day and I could see the moment approaching.So I took it.He was sitting on his bed. Still in practice clothes. Staring at the
Rhys's mouth was on my neck and my back was against the couch cushions and his hand was between my thighs and I was approximately thirty seconds from not caring about anything in the known universe when the sound of a key in the lock stopped my heart.Not a knock. A key. The specific metallic scrape of someone who had access letting themselves in like they belonged here.Rhys froze. His hand still on me. His body covering mine. Both of us naked – completely, undeniably, naked on his couch at two in the afternoon on a Saturday because we'd started making out during a movie and the movie had become irrelevant approximately eight minutes in.The door opened.Miles stood in the doorway. Backpack over one shoulder. Hockey stick in his hand. Thirteen years old and wearing the expression of someone whose brain was processing information it had not been built to receive.Three seconds. That's how long the moment lasted. Three seconds of my little brother standing in the doorway of his stepbro
The email came at 7 AM on a Thursday and I almost missed it because I was arguing with Rhys about whether oat milk counted as real milk."It's not milk, Naomi. It's oat water with marketing.""It has calcium.""Water has calcium if you believe hard enough.""That's not how calcium works.""That's not how milk works either and yet here we are, drinking oats."My phone buzzed. I glanced at it mid-argument, ready to dismiss it, and then I wasn't arguing anymore. I was standing in his kitchen with my coffee going cold and my mouth slightly open and the words on my screen rearranging the shape of my morning.Dear Ms. Ellis, We're pleased to inform you that your feature essay "The Women Who Love in Silence" has been selected for our spring spotlight. The piece will run in our April issue, both print and digital...The literary magazine. Not the campus one – the real one. The regional publication with actual subscribers and actual distribution and an editorial board that had rejected three o
NAOMI’S POVThe second call came on a Wednesday. 4 PM. Sober.I almost didn't answer. My thumb hovered over the screen for three rings – Caleb's name sitting there like a question I wasn't sure I wanted the answer to. But I'd been dodging him for weeks and dodging felt like fear and I was tired of being afraid of a phone call from a boy I'd known since I was fourteen."Naomi. Don't hang up.""Give me a reason.""Valentine's Day." He paused. Not for effect – I could hear the weight of it. The specific gravity of a man choosing his words because they mattered. "The letter. When they read it out loud. I should have stopped them. I was standing right there and I should have taken it out of their hands and told them to shut the fuck up and I didn't. I was a coward. You deserved better than what I gave you that night."I sat on my bed. The silence stretched. Because here's the thing about Caleb Park that made him the most dangerous person in my life – when he was genuine, he was devastating
RHYS’ POVThe empty dark is worse than the angry kind.Angry I can work with. Angry has edges – walls I can hit, a body I can throw into a drill until the feeling burns off. The empty dark doesn't have edges. It opens up underneath you and you fall into it and there's nothing to grab onto, nothing to fight, just a silence so complete you can't tell if you're drowning or if you drowned hours ago and haven't noticed yet.Elena's letter cracked open something I sealed shut when I was twelve years old. And now it was flooding. Nine years of concrete and she put a crack in it with two pages of cream paper and the word proud and now everything I'd buried was pouring through and I didn't have enough hands to stop it.I'd been sitting on my couch for hours. The letter was on the kitchen counter where I'd left it and I could feel it pulling at me from across the room like a second gravity. The word proud sitting in my apartment like something alive. She's proud of me.From whatever city she d
She was sitting at the kitchen table when I came downstairs.Coffee in front of her. Both hands wrapped around the mug. Not drinking – holding. The way people hold things when they need an anchor and the nearest one is ceramic. She was wearing the flannel pajamas again. Second day in a row. Whateve
I didn’t move.Stood in the hallway with my water glass and my bare feet and the cold tile under my soles and listened to my mother talk about the boy I loved to the man who was trying to erase him from my life.“He never asks to talk to her, Richard. That’s the thing.” My mom’s voice was quiet. Ti
I sat in the driveway for eleven minutes before I could make my hands stop shaking long enough to turn off the engine.My mom's voice was still in my ears – how COULD you and I'm finally happy and fix it – playing on a loop that got louder every time I tried to think past it. I'd driven here becaus
Rhys got a B+ on the American Literature midterm.Three nights of flashcards and highlighters and him sprawled across his apartment floor complaining that Fitzgerald was "a rich drunk who wrote about other rich drunks" while I threatened to leave if he didn't focus. He'd focus for twenty minutes. T







