REBORN INTACT

Jelena

The urge to keep running is the only thing keeping me moving.

Even though I can’t see where I’m going, I keep running.

Branches lash against my arms as I force my way through the thick wild bush, my feet barely finding stable ground beneath me and my lungs burn with every breath I drag in, each inhale sharp and painful, but I do not dare slow down.

My heart is beating so fast it feels as though it might burst out of my chest, I don’t know how to stop myself from running, I don’t even know if I want to.

Every instinct inside me screams that danger is behind me, stalking me, closing in with every second that passes. My mind can sense it, can feel the presence like a shadow pressing against my back, but it still hasn’t fully come to terms with what is happening.

All I know is that I need to get away.

I need to survive.

The darkness around me is almost suffocating, the trees tower high above, their branches weaving together to block out the moonlight, leaving only slivers of silver that barely touch the ground and I can barely see anything.

My wolf should be useful in moments like this, she should be guiding me, helping me, protecting me but no matter what I do, I have never been like them, never strong enough nor good enough.

The sharp spikes from the bushes tear into my skin as I run past, slicing against my arms and legs and ain shoots through me, hot and stinging, forcing a grunt to rise in my throat, I bite it back immediately, the sound never fully escapes, whoever is after me must not know where I am snd I force myself to keep going.

My feet move faster, stumbling over roots and uneven ground.

Then suddenly—

I tumble to the ground.

A cry almost tears out of me as my leg catches against a jagged stone hidden beneath the grass, my body slams hard into the earth, dirt and dry leaves sticking to my skin.

For one horrifying second, everything goes still then my instincts flare, they’re getting closer and panic surges through me like fire.

I scramble to my feet as quickly as I can, my hands shaking violently, but pain shoots through my leg again.

I look down.

My foot is tangled in a stubborn bush, thorny branches wrapped tightly around my ankle like claws refusing to let go.

No.

No, no, no.

My breath comes faster.

I tug at it desperately, trying to free myself but the bush doesn’t budge and the sound of footsteps grows nearer.

Heavy and steady, so terrifying they’re close.

Too close.

My heart pounds harder, I pull with all my strength, ignoring the way the thorns dig deeper into my skin, tearing at flesh.

Finally, with one violent yank, I break free, I don’t stop to catch my breath.

I run.

I run like my life depends on it.

I run like death itself is right behind me because maybe it is.

The cold night air whips against my face as I push forward, my vision blurring from fear and tears I refuse to let fall, I can hear them now and the footsteps.

Closer.

Closer.

And then—

I stop.

So suddenly that my breath catches in my throat.

Right ahead of me is a cliff.

A steep, jagged edge that drops into darkness so deep it seems endless.

The unknown.

A place no one speaks of without lowering their voice at least my mind tells me no one has ever fallen there and come back alive.

My chest rises and falls rapidly as I stare down into the abyss, there is no path forward and no way out.

Behind me, the footsteps slow, they’ve caught up, I can feel their presence, I know they’re there but I don’t turn around.

I can’t, if I do, it would feel too real now, 

I close my eyes for a brief moment and silently pray for the heavens to save me from whatever this is.

Please.

Please let this not be the end and then a voice slices through the darkness, cold, cruel and filled with hatred.

“Die already, bitch.”

The words hit me like a slap and before I can even react, before I can turn around, before I can even scream

A hard shove lands against my back then I’m falling, and falling, the air rushes past me violently, tearing the scream from my throat.

This isn’t the end for me, right?

I won’t die like this

Right?

My mind races wildly as darkness swallows me whole.

But even as I think about it, another thought creeps in, a painfully bitter one

Nobody would miss me even if I go missing, nobody really cares and as the thought settles deep in my chest, heavier than the fall itself, maybe this is how it ends, this is all I was ever meant for.

Just then, I close my eyes and allow myself to fall.

Then—

Knock. Knock.

“Miss, my lady is asking for your presence.”

The voice comes softly from behind my bedroom door.

I jerk awake.

A gasp tears from my lips as I sit upright in bed, my entire body drenched in sweat.

My chest rises and falls rapidly.

For a moment, I can’t tell what is real, the darkness, the fall and the voice then reality slowly settles around me, my room, my bed and the soft morning light slipping through the curtains.

It was just a dream.

Again, I let out a shaky breath, pressing a trembling hand against my chest, I don’t know if I should hug Sarah right now because that felt too real.

“Come in,” I croak out, my voice rough from fear and sleep.

The door opens gently, and Sarah steps inside and her expression immediately shifts the moment she sees me.

“Are you okay, Miss?” she asks, looking genuinely concerned.

I guess I must look crazy for her to ask, I force myself to steady my breathing.

“Yes, I am,” I reply, though even to my own ears, the words sound weak.

I offer her a small nod.

“Please tell her I’ll be with her shortly.”

Sarah hesitates for a moment, as if she wants to ask more questions, but then she nods.

“Yes, Miss.”

She steps out, closing the door behind her.

The moment I am alone, I throw the covers off and climb out of bed, my legs still feel shaky, the dream lingers like a shadow in the room, I head straight for the bathroom.

As I squeeze toothpaste onto my brush, my mind drifts back to the nightmare, it has always been like this for the past few months, always the same, I wake up terrified, sweating, breathless ans no matter the environment or even the change of location, I am always running from an unknown force, always being chased, always desperate to escape and every single time, I never get the chance to catch even the slightest glimpse of my attacker.

Just fear, darkness and the feeling that something is coming for me and sometimes I wonder if it means something.

If dreams like that are warnings or maybe it is just my mind playing cruel games on me, I stare at my reflection in the mirror, dark circles sit beneath my eyes, my face looks pale, tired and haunted.

“Miss, hurry, she is getting edgy,” Sarah says from outside my door.

That is enough to send a wave of panic through me, I quickly rinse my mouth and splash water over my face, there is no time for a bath now or to even  gather myself, my stepmother is not someone who likes to be kept waiting and when she is made to wait, everyone around her suffers for it, I dry my face quickly, smooth down the wrinkles in my nightdress, and head for the door.

Each step toward her room feels heavier than the last, I already know what is ahead even before I push the door open, the sharp words and the cold stare, the criticism, the reminder that I am never enough.

Not a great way to start my day.

Seriously.