001: The Interaction

Larika F.S.

Sa magulong mundo, makakahanap ka ba ng kapayapaan?

Sa magulong kapayapaan, makakahanap ka ba ng kapahingahan?

Sa magulong kapahingahan, makakahanap ka ba ng tahanan?

Cause for me, thousands of words in the dictionary, but the definition of "peace" has given me only a vague understanding. It's a word that seems so elusive.

Kaya eto ako, ginagawa ang mga utos ng aking ama para lang makuha ang inaasam na gantimpala. Pero sa tingin ko, ito ay kamalasan.

"It's work now, Mrs. D'arcy. Wear the fucking clothes I've sent you, or I'll strip you naked to make you wear it," Primo huskily whispered in my ear as he sucked on my earlobe, making me groan.

"Punishment is cruel, bimbo. Better do as I say." And with that, he left me backstage, leaving everyone in shock.

If God would let me choose a life, I'd rather choose not to have one at all.

Everything happens for a reason, and that fucking night aligned everything with torment and a revolution of wrath.

"Pa! Ano na naman 'to? Ang laki-laki na ng utang na 'to! Alam mo naman na pinagtitipid ko ang gastos natin para sumakto ang budget natin sa pang-araw-araw pati na sa gamot ni Yasmin. Tapos, bagong utang na naman? Para sa alak at sugal?" I vented in frustration.

I was forcing myself not to cross the line just because I'm the one carrying all the burdens, but this... this is beyond my patience's limit.

Pagod ako... Sobra. At alam 'yun ni Papa. But he prefers his devil's voice rather than his child's agony.

Gusto ko sanang sabihin, "'Di bale nang walang maibiling gamot sa anak, may maiinom lang?" That's the specific statement I want to say to him.

But I held myself back. Composed myself and pushed my demons behind before I could further talk back at him.

"Anak, ngayon lang naman 'yan, eh. Tsaka nak... Uutang na lang si Papa sa ika-kinkinse para mabayaran kita. Sige na, oh? Nak..." He pleaded, extending his hands to ask for money.

Napalo ko ang aking sintido.

Por pabor, Pa!

Uutang tapos ibabayad sa utang?

Gusto ko nang umiyak, gusto kong humiga sa kama at ubusin ang lahat ng luha para may mai-pang-luha pa ako bukas.

Pero nangmamanhid na ang pakiramdam ko.

I feel nothing. Nothing to the point that pain isn't visible anymore.

In the end, I ended up giving him the money he was asking for. Seven thousand lang, pero ang laki-laki na nito sa akin. Kalahating buwan ko na 'yan sa club na pinapasukan ko.

What makes me mad is that, after he got what he wanted, wala kang maririnig na pasasalamat sa kanya. Aside from pagwawaldas ng pera, wala nang ibang ginawa si Papa.

Dapat bang sisihin ko siya dahil naging ganito simula nang iniwan kami ni Mama? O sa akin, dahil hindi ako tunay na anak ni Mama?

Natagpuan ko ang sariling umiiyak sa sulok ng aparador.

I kept crying as I brushed my hair upward. My heart throbbed when I saw my sister's bloodshot eyes looking at me.

Lumapit siya sa akin at niyakap ako.

"H-Hey, bakit ka umiiyak? Don't cry..." She didn't listen and started sobbing. Humigpit ang yakap nito sa akin at hinagod ko ang buhok nito bago isinampa ang mahina niyang katawan sa aking hita.

I kissed her temple, "Don't cry... Pinapaiyak mo rin si Ate..." But hardheaded like our genes, hindi siya tumigil. And we spent the night crying.

On the next morning, maaga akong nagising para paghandaan ng almusal ang aking mga kapatid bago pumasok sa pinapasukan kong club.

It's around 5 AM at isang oras na lang bago ang simula ng shift ko. I placed a note on the table before leaving the house. My siblings are still sleeping.

"Rafa, wag kalimutang painom ng gamot si Yasmin sa tamang oras. Ibili mo na rin ng pang-snack si Rio dahil nakalimutan kong bumili kagabi. Babalik ako ng alas-dos, siguraduhin niyong hindi kayo magpapagutom. Ayos?"

I spent the night working my ass off hanggang sa nag-alas-dies na ng gabi. Walang tigil ang trabaho ko simula kaninang umaga, at ramdam na ng katawan ang pagod. But I kept on serving the customers.

Hindi ganun kalaki at ka-sosyal ang club na 'to, may iba pa nga ngang h*******k na babastos. Pero sa sweldo, sakto na ito sa buong buwan.

"One amaretto please." Nabaling ang attention sa bagong dating na customer, he gave his card at ininabot ko iyon bago isinalpak sa counter.

Unlike other usual customers, this man exuded masculinity and sophistication. Sopistikado at kagalang-galang ang tindig. The formation of every detail in his body was injustice. Too good to be true. And too hot not to stare.

"Times ticking." His baritone voice was deep as it wandered down the ocean. Masyadong malalim. He smiled and there's perfection in it.

Nakakatunaw, nakakalusaw, pero kaagad naman akong bumalik sa realidad at inasikaso ang order nito.

His broad shoulders and toned, thick figure made me jump into a conclusion that he's into working out.

At nagpakilala sa akin sa kaisipang, may lakas siyang kaya ipatumba ang kahit sino't kahit kaninong puso.

His bright face is like a gentle touch from heaven, cleanse with purity and gloriousness. But that impression tells me the opposite.

Mga ganitong klaseng akala mo mabuting ginoong lalake, ngunit tarantadong abno pala. But I shrugged off that thought. Who am I to judge a stranger? A person I barely know.

I've dived back into my work, forming an alliance with my skills and passion.

I'm not saying that I'm a skilled bartender, but I've been

working for over two years, and the reviews from the customers? Well, they're quite impressed. Not bragging.

"Woah! Bullseye." He complimented, twitching lips. Butterflies filled my stomach, and I timidly smiled.

"They should've put a caution that this bartender is cute." I was having a hard time checking if there's any other bartender aside from me, but I knew I was the only one for this shift.

When I gazed at him, he was looking at me. Intensely.

"Navigating the culprit?" His lips formed a smirk. "It's you, dummy." I couldn't find the right reaction to meet the response he was aiming for, pero iyon na lahat. I masked my feelings and neutralized my expression.

Mahirap na, ganitong lalake kadalasan ang mag-uwi sa 'yo sa kama at iiwan ka sa huli.

But why the hell would I think of bed?

"You're thinking of it too?" Napanganga ako sa sinabi ng lalake. I didn't know what he meant by it, pero it made my throat dry. Did he find out that I was thinking of bed?

"As far as I know, you're thinking of how cute I am." Pagpapatawa ko. We both laughed, and I found him laughing so sexy.

That even the way he touched his fingers to his lips drove me insane.

"And you're?" In the middle of our conversation, he asked.

"Sabihin na lang natin, I am hiding with the concept of: A person with nothing in the future." Even if the atmosphere was stable, and he seemed unaffected with those words, para sa akin, iyon na lahat.

Kasi totoo naman lahat ng sinabi ko eh. Walang kwenta ang magiging bukas ko. And that's the thing I am afraid to hold, but grasping me tightly.

But this man... This man is a vast green flag. I can even sense that he tastes my bitterness.

"Then be my future everything..."